Experiences - Nonexistence and Death. My Two Powerful Trips

[BloodyMuffin]

K. so Swim hasnt had me write in a while as he quit using anything but he feels he should share the two experiences that had the most profound experiences on him. trust him when he says they were immense. He wants to know if others have had experiences similar to any of the parts of his.

Yeah i know its long but it could be so much longer... For those who don't have time... here's a breakdown of what swim felt on his two powerful trips

1- Feelings as though the world never existed
2- Language doesn't make sense because swim created it
3- Stuck in a time loop
4- Stuck in a false world created to distract swim from the truth
5- Feeling that swim died and is being led to the afterlife
6- feeling that Swim is in a coma and needs to wake up from the fake world
7- Words spoken by swim's friend changed to entirely new sentences
8- Experience all of life from birth to death
9- Meet god

Here is the short version in swims exact words.

"So after ingesting the shrooms the problems began with intense body trips. On the first occasion after about ten to twenty minutes of pure awesome i felt as though i was suddenly made of blood. the second time the bad trip was set off by a very disturbing feeling that my mouth was too large and i had swallowed my tongue (which also felt excessively long).

the first trip there weren't too many specifics. I just started becoming insanely paranoid and felt as though the world had never existed. it was as though i had imagined it all. my whole life meant nothing because it had never happened. i freaked out but because my friend was outside smoking a cig i couldnt talk to him about it. i became increasing freaked out and stopped understanding language. it wasnt that i didnt know the words but i thought that i had made all language up. I began babbling and saying words and names to convince myself that they did in fact have a meaning. when my friend came in he started a calm conversation with me, reminded me who i was, where i was, and talked me down. after that i took a few weeks off.

The second trip was the more interesting in that it had specific weird feelings to it. After the tongue problem i asked my friend if we could cut our walk short so that i could look at myself in a mirror to reassure myself that my tongue was fine. I knew it was but i was very freaked out. As we walked back I started freaking out without saying anything to my friend. The walk seemed way too long and felt fake as though the whole world was a video game or a simulation created by my brain or someone else. Because of the length and the time distortion i felt as though i was stuck in a loop it didnt help that the whole street was completely straight and all the houses look alike.

as we began to approach the house my i could feel us coming up to some milestone but didnt understand. my brain turned it into fear and tried to rationalize it. as we reached the house the explanation i came up with was that I had died and my friend was leading me to the afterlife. It happened suddenly and startled my friend By yelling and asking him if i had died. He tried to calm me down and managed to get me into his room (as we approached it i had the same milestone turned approaching death feeling). Once in his room i began violently shaking my body because i decided that i hadn't died but that i was maybe asleep or in a coma and needed to wake up. the whole world felt too perfect. it was too much how i liked it and at the same time felt fake. i felt as though it had all been generated for me.

As my friend tried to calm me the words he was speaking began to warp. my brain changed them so that sometimes i heard what he was actually saying and other times i heard something my brain had come up with. I was could no longer decide if i was dead or in a coma/asleep when i heard him say something that my brain changed to "Just think of it as them giving you a gift before you wake up, a gift you wont remember" I didnt know what to make of that but seeing as how i apparently wouldnt remember it once i woke up felt a bit reassured that i would live. With that and the altered words "Just accept it man" I determined to go to sleep.

As i couldnt fall asleep i just lay in bed trying to "accept it" the more i accepted it the calmer i became. I was still tripping balls though and thus had one of the most awesome experiences of my life. i felt another presence that i knew was not in the room. it was more in my head and it was guiding me. As i lay there i felt myself become young again. young like a baby. I was being rocked and then held up to my mothers breast. i could feel everything physically. i could feel her hands and i could feel my body moving. as i lay there i grew older. i was a child of about 8 kneeling down at a playground. i could feel that it was cold and could tell that i was wearing a jacket. I grew older and i was about 16 on a beach and i could feel the sun shining on the back of my neck giving me a sunburn. The next few sections went by really non specifically but i felt myself growing older in increments until i reached an old man and then died. i could feel myself lying in my grave. The presence wanted me to be prepared for something and i felt myself being led upward like a staircase but i didn't have to walk.

It all ended with me getting a vision of God. I don't remember it very well but a door opened and then there was a very bright light and i felt as though all the bad parts of my trips were gone. i opened my eyes and the shrooms were entirely out of my system. it was weird because they had been powerful enough to give me a god vision but then they were gone."

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Good trip report, thanks for sharing!
	good tr, thanks for sharing!

[ryanc]

Sounds like a very valuable trip. SWIM had a very profound experience with shrooms about a month ago. SWIM can definitely relate to the language part, but for SWIM it was more just the mental state that the shrooms put SWIM in. SWIM just began to wonder what language was and why there had to be an order for subject, predicate, object, etc. It was funny because SWIM failed horribly trying to speak to a sober person.

[fugazi32]

SWIM had a similar experience after eating a heavy dose of Mexican Blues...he'll be writing a trip report soon!

[Samuel]

Nice trip dude, I would like that, too