Experiences - Ever lose heroin in your house? Got any funny stories?

[dyingtomorrow]

Is there anything that can drive you more insane?

God, especially when you are withdrawing. SWIM still can't get any peace here because back in the day when he had lots of money he would lose bags everywhere. His bedroom, his car, his parents cars, pockets in his clothes. They were just fucking sprinkled everywhere, so he could always count on scrounging something up in a pinch. But now SWIM is sure there is hidden heroin around here somewhere, and has torn the fucking house apart so many times and can't find any. Drives him crazy.

So SWIM has a funny story to tell:

Last December he was living with his girlfriend and mostly on suboxone, but would sneak off to get dope whenever he could. She thought he was just on suboxone, but pretty much knew the truth, and had told him she'd kick him out if he used. So one night he is "taking a shower" (I'm sure you all know what that means), and gets fucked up. His usual routine is to put it in a dress shirt pocket in his closet, so he just goes to bed. Next morning he wakes up, sees his GF off to work, and goes to get his shit. Can't find it! He spends 8 fucking hours taking his closet apart and pressing every inch of his clothing between his fingers trying to find the little pack. He thinks his kitten might have found it and swatted it somewhere, so he scours the fucking house like an insane man. After taking 200 pieces of clothing out, searching each inch, putting them back, and doing it again like 4 times he is freaking out like a mother fucker. His gf comes home and he wonders if she found it. She is totally cool, so he tries to be sly and say shit to fuck with her to see if she found it. Nope, totally cool. SWIM keeps taking his closet apart (this being like the 9th hour in a row), and she just watches him disinterested.

Finally, in total defeat, he curls up in a ball on the bed, totally in despair and so frustrated. "I am never going to be able to relax for a fucking second ever again in this place. I gotta move out now. Fuck." Finally she comes and lays down with him. "I found your heroin." His face uncontrollably lights up, but he immediately tries to get all the excitement out of it. "Oh..." So they look at each other for a minute not saying anything. Obviously the first thing SWIM wants to ask was "DO YOU STILL HAVE IT?" But he dissimulates this, and quickly comes up with a conversational strategy. He buttresses it by telling her how fucking crazy he was going all day, how tortuous it was. She originally was going to be harsh she says, but fortunately she is an alcoholic so can kind of understand drug problems. We laugh about how horrible this is for me. Finally I ask. "I flushed it down the toilet." UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. SWIM recoils in pain and horror. He collects himself, "Well, okay, that's better than having to think there is a bunch of heroin around here somewhere. I'd never get any peace then." You bitch - he doesn't add. He's trying to just accept it, when she smirks.

"I didn't flush it." SWIM lights up like a fucking little girl getting a pony for Christmas. "Babe!" he yells, his eyebrows half way to his forehead. She goes and gets it from her hiding spot. SWIM is still laying on the bed trying to collect his breath. "You better not ever do it again. Here," she throws the little pack at him. "Enjoy it, it's your last." SWIM has never known such love or rapture as that moment.


Got any funny stories?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Great topic that many people on here can relate to