300-500mg adderall/day - psychosis doesn't care how hard your drug is

[DimethylTimmy]

So SWIM started taking adderall to help with school (and crippling boredom). By all definitions, SWIM was the ADD posterboy. SWIM definitely experienced the paradoxical reaction to the drug - it made him calm, cool, and collected. Precisely why he loved it so much.

Swim was diagnosed with ADD/Bipolar disorder, but his only real goal in going to the doctor was obtaining his prize prescription for adderall. Of course, it helped that SWIM actually needed the drug, but convincing the doctor to bump him up to 90mg/day seemed miraculous. SWIM was content for a few months, but he lived in constant fear of coming down.

To make a long story short, SWIM began taking 90mg every four hours, and then 60-120 every 2-4hrs, and then just whatever he felt like if he could even remember what he'd taken. SWIM would stay up for days until his body couldn't take it. Adderall isn't addictive for people with ADD, right?

At first SWIM was more social and he could party longer. Then SWIM began to act strange. He began to act more like a zombie on the drug. SWIM was always outgoing and often spoke out in class. The things SWIM said began to make less sense. SWIM began to talk less and less until he never had anything to say in class. SWIM could feel the eyes on him. Everywhere SWIM went he could hear people talking about him. They were laughing; making fun of SWIM. Whenever SWIM would run out of adderall, he'd sleep 23 hours a day. He started to skip work and class without notice. One day, SWIM decided to smoke weed with some friends and he snapped. He was unable to look people in the eyes or understand what they were saying. They were all plotting against him. They all went to SWIM's apartment and he stopped breathing. SWIM had his first panic attack.

SWIM started to lock himself in his room when he didn't have plans. One of SWIM's roommates threw a party and SWIM was petrified to come out. He went out and talked for a while but he knew that they were plotting against him. SWIM pretended to be tired so he went back to his room. SWIM heard clawing noises and curled up on his bed guarding his adderall. SWIM became convinced that there were cameras in his room and that his roommates were laughing at how crazy he was and plotting to steal his adderall. His new hobby became sitting still for hours, only moving the mouse on his laptop.

SWIM may have just been healthier to smoke meth... by the time he decided to quit his face would go numb when he was high. SWIM's extremities often hurt too. SWIM was having heart problems. In an effort to quit, SWIM switched to vyvanse so that he at least had the courage to look at people. He eventually quit that too. It took SWIM months to get over his paranoia. After about a month of sleeping all the time, SWIM was able to stay awake during the day. SWIM began to drink heavily to offset some of his symptoms, which really didn't help much in the long run. After about 8 months of heavy use, SWIM has a feeling that he still has a long way to go.

People laughed at SWIM when he said he was addicted. Apparently adderall isn't a hard enough drug. Unfortunately it was hard enough to screw up SWIM's dopamine receptors for a long time. SWIM can't say that SWIY shouldn't do it, but SWIY should be prepared. It wasn't all bad times but SWIM just isn't the same as he was before.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Interesting and honest report about stimulant-induced psychosis

[missparkles]

Drug induced psychosis is the scariest thing swim ever went through. She spent six months frightened to go out because everyone (or so swim thought) was looking at her and talking about her. And addiction is addiction, a physical and psychological dependence regardless of the drug that caused it.
There are no "hard" drugs, only ignorant people. If it's a problem, or was a problem for swiy, then it's a problem, end of.
Swim is pleased swiy got through this and is feeling better.

[officer]

Originally Posted by missparkles

Drug induced psychosis is the scariest thing swim ever went through.

Same, speed is good at bringing it on however swim only ever had it for 3-4 days at most, it was always triggered by taking mass amounts of meth and staying up for 5-6 days, after swim quit for 2 years he had issues with anxity and stuff (still does) if swim has a meth bindge now it still affects him bad if he stays up for 2 nights straight, last week swim spent 2 hours with another guy driving all the back roads of a 20min trip, because they thought they where both being followed .
Swim stared this whole speed abuse on adderall when he was 15, swim dont think its as 'strong' but it still fucks with swimmers minds very much and is possibly worse for mental state when abused.

[Moonage Daydream]

all forms of amphetamine can induce psychosis, as swim knows from experience. She has stayed up for 5 days before on both amphetamine and meth (the former mcuh more readily available in England) and call her a weak pathetic cat but five days awake = psychosis for her. Luckily she has always come back, within a week, but these days she stays uo for max three days and it doesn't happen anymore.

[mufftamer]

Swim recently aquired a script for Ritalin, she was diagnosed with adult ADD. She also is a recovering alcoholic(2years sober). within a day of receiving meds, she has already began to abuse them by crushing and snorting. She's been up for 23hrs and is beginning to feel oncomings of psychosis.
Swim has abused amphetamines before, and generally preferred booze over stims, but she feels this particular has grabbed ahold of her quite abruptly.
she's not currently looking for inspiration to quit, just chiming in that these guys(ritalin), if taken relatively moderately make every task more enjoyable and have swim feeling generally happy and helpful.
From what I've read, and swim's personal experience, psychiatrists have no idea for the most part what they are doing. Someone with AD(H)D, imo, almost always has an addictive personality to go with it.
Swims tried coke, and adderal before, but this stuff although minus the euphoric effects will definitely f**k your mind up.
Take heed, swim likes her new meds, which to her equals danger.
I'll keep yall posted on her progress/digress

[Moonage Daydream]

The problem with stimulants is that they are so easy to function on. Swim does not feel out of control on them, unless she overdoes them horribly. Nothing else really puts such a serious face on when inside swiy is full of energy determination and happiness... so it can be taken into uncomfortable territory....

[DimethylTimmy]

It seems that the loss of sleep is the biggest factor. SWIM tells me that he would have been alright except for the fact that he really only slept ONCE in 4-5 days with the occasional nap in between, so one day of rest per week really didn't do much good for him. He's still not certain whether any of his delusions were justified (after all, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you :P). SWIM informs me that his biggest problem was that, besides the fact that he's one to worry a lot about losing his high, he never had good sleep habits to begin with. Often he felt that after a long day of unfulfilling work, he should make full use of his time and enjoy himself. Of course, coming down isn't enjoyable and one dose always led to another which led to another. The first time SWIM did this (long before he'd ever gotten a prescription) he felt completely fried and left work early one night 'cause he was afraid he'd pass out and wreck on the drive home. After using 'phets for a while it became pretty easy tho.

SWIM is happy to report that he's been clean for almost six months now and aside from some lasting sleep problems he feels that he has recovered completely. He says he'll be going to school and plans on taking the stuff again in a responsible manner, knowing now that when you buy on credit you still have to pay sometime.


SWIM hopes that someone might read this and decide not to be stubborn as he was. SWIM never listened to his friends because he believed that somehow consequences would disappear later on, as if doing lots of drugs was just a phase and somehow he'd be in a better place when he needed to quit. He'd even beaten heroine with no problems. But the bottom line is that, regardless of who's conducting, you can only ride the train for so long. Many drugs are wonderful tools when used in a responsible manner, but SWIM tells me that for him, amphetamines had the nastiest retribution when disrespected.

[dogzz]

Well said DT,...Swim at one time went for months on end only sleeping on thursday nights, and a lil more friday afternoons after work. Fridays partying would last on till Sundays. The best of intentions for getting a nights sleep always seemed to fall by the wayside as games of pool led to more beers,...old and new friends wandering in where more beers would flow (a beer or shot greeting seemed to be mandatory) Getting hammered drunk always led to "lets do a blast" more meth=more drinking=more meth=more drinking ,...and so went the cycle. The Sunday night,.night of sleep always ended up being an all-nighter. More meth to get thru the day of work,....Monday thru wednesday nights were all pretty much copies of Sunday. Thursdays exhaustion,....after getting home from work,...swim would eat a big dinner,...not do any meth,...next thing he'd know,...the alarm was goin off to go back to work.....usually still wearing the same clothes, still dressed. Do a blast,...off to work,.....not doing the usual afternoon hits,..would get another 4 hours sleep, do a blast,..shower, dressed,...and out on a Friday night....to repeat the same cycle over and over again....3,..4 months swim lived like that.
Never once experiencing any sort of psychosis. Swim was very happy with his supply and supplier. Visiting a friend one day,...swim noticed friend was really trippin,...definitely in a psychosis,....curious,...swim asked to try friends stash,...within minutes swim began to see trails,...lights,....felt a paranoia. started that "there's somebody outside the window" stuff.
The moral to swim's story is,...the quality and cleanliness of product is so important. What people pass off as meth could be anything. Backyard/kitchen and bathroom cooks attempting something they "think" they know how to do. Improper amounts used, incomplete reactions,..PH levels way off,...toxic things leeched into the mix from items used,...the list is endless of what can go wrong in the manufacture alone. Then down the line,..in the name of greed,..cut is added,...ya know that crap on a car battery?? swim has seen that used,..just about anything and everything is or has been used. Also,..as if meth is not addictive enough on it's own,.....A lot of meth has been known to be cut with heroin,...just a little boost to keep the customer base comin back.
Just because one is looking at those beautiful clear shards doesn't make it pure,...but it's sure a pleasant start of hope isn't it?. Smoking meth became swims fav method when he discovered how meth melts, recrystalizes and ultimately burns up was a great way to judge quality. Not to mention, was like a kid playin with a kaleidascope.
Quality and price are a couple of great tools to use when wants to get off the ride. Swim had great price, quality, and a lot of availability,...eventually a lot of health problems as well,...removing swim from availability was his only option to quit and live a longer life. Moving 2500 miles swim now has 5 years clean (4 totally clean, at 1 year was back in old area, did a ball to celebrate,...a good lesson learned)
Meth's a real bitch,...so easy, and comfortable,..fits right in with todays busy world,...an industrial strength coffee ,....a med that helps many to lead a better more normal life,.....I like how DT put it,....and has the nastiest retribution when disrespected. those of ya tryin to get off that train? it is tough,...but it can be done,...it does get better, it does get easier. If you're stickin around and ridin it longer,.... don't disrespect her,...the bitch is mean...she'll punch your ticket,...or worse,...leave you sittin somewhere where ya have no idea where you are or how you got there.