Effects - Unique experiences on adderall

[Mr.Baker]

Well, in the past month or so, I've taken adderall (recreationally) for the first time, and then a few more times. I am six feet tall and weigh about 230 pounds, and i usually take about 80 milligrams, the highest I've taken being 115 and the lowest at 45 milligrams.

The unique thing is the way my mind starts working while on adderall. When my buddies take adderall, they feel very energised and focused, they don't sleep or eat, they can't exercise as hard or as for long, but they take much shorter breaks (like when they are at sports practice, they can't run fast for very long, but they only need a minute to catch their breath and take a drink) and finally, about half of them get VERY talkative, and the others get very quiet, almost meditative.

Now, when i do adderall i get the insomnia and the loss of appetite, but i don't get energy in the same way. I feel extremely comfortable in any sort of sitting position, to the point where i'll sit down on my couch and move nothing but my eyes for up to an hour. i also have some problems with posture, because 3 of my vertabrae are the wrong shape, and hence don't fit together quite well. ( it's not a big deal, but it would take to long to properly explain) but when i'm speeding, without making a deliberate effort, i sit up much straighter, and it feels more comfortable than my usual mild hunch. And due to the increased posture, I have a notable increase in lung capacity. My resting breathing is more of a steady inhale, and i need fewer breaths. And that gives me a more steady talking voice, and it's kind've relaxing, almost like therepeutic deep breathing. And the final physical effect is that i get this kind've tick/thing where i just kind've align my jaw so that my canines are tip to tip, and then i tighten my lip muscles, and i open and close my jaw, clicking my canines together (gently, of course, i'm not grinding my teeth out)

The mental effects however, are the real reason that i am so interested about this. One of the more obvious ones (i'm sure you have noticed) is that whenever i'm trying to convey a thought in words, i feel the need to be extremely thorough. It becomes very important to me whilst speeding that my message is recieved the way i intend. As i've typed this, I've been giving the backspace key quite the workout, revising things and such. Now, i think this is partly caused by the fact that, adderall seems to be an epiphany inducing drug for me.

Be warned, this next bit has little to do about the main topic, but if you are very interested in my case and want to give me the best advice possible, go ahead and read it. I am on adderall right now, and the second example I generated just tonight, in about one hour. as i'm sure anyone else who takes adderall recreationally knows, i feel like this is a task/obligation that i have to take care of today, and this thread is the best i can do for right now.

And these epiphany's seem to become more signifigant and complex the higher the dosage. A quick example: (after 45 milligrams) "How come humans have such little hair, and such thin skin? most wild animals either have some kind've fur, scales, or thick skin to provide protection from cuts and scrapes, which, without modern medicine, could become infected, and even fatal." At a higher dose: (90 milligrams)-this whole little rant is about my theory on the problems with modern society, on a political level. " In a free country that is allegedly ran by the people, shouldn't people have the freedom to make their own mistakes? By that a mean two things. 1. I think that people should have the right, and even the legal obligation to vote on everything. This would be a difficult system to make work, but if you consider the fact that on account of the internet we are capable of massive and rapid communication on a global scale. and i'm positive that if you put a few computer programmers at work, eventually they could design a system that would let any citizen go to a website, read about a current issue, and cast their vote. now, i don't want to go on about that, because i've got an amazing, potentially revolutionary idea for how that could work. And the Second thing that I had in my mind with my quote on freedom was the legalization of drugs. i feel very strongly about this one, because my dad ruined his life, fucked up mine, and recently died from a drinking problem. I know for sure that hallucinagenic drugs such as mushrooms and acid, and even weed should be legal. none of these drugs are AS physically dangerous, and aren't even A LITTLE BIT addicting. (weeed can be a bit i'll admit, but not like ciggarettes or alchohol.) so, if you agree with that, you must agree that a mushroom/acid/weed user is not causing himself or anyone else any harm. But people go to jail for years on end for these sorts of things. And i think that it would be possible to get drugs legalized. if i were a congressman, i would make a bill that legalizes the distribution of all those drugs to people of a set age (probably between 16 and 18) and i've even got an idea for a way to potentially ingenious way to sway the people who think the drugs i mentioned are bad, AND avoid all of the potential problems that could come along with enabling people to inebriate themselves. First, I would raise the penalty's and the generall aggresiveness towards people caught driving under the influence. Obviously, this would discourage people from going out and being flagrant about there drug use, which would please the anti-drug people. And the other measure i would take would only be in regards to shrooms, acid, and other powerfull hallucinagens. basically, if you wanted to use a psychadellic, you would have to go to a qualified psychiatrist (or would it be psychologist?) and go through a sort of exam. the exam would be to see if you would be likely to have a bad trip. Because i bad trip can have permanent effects on your mental well being. The pschiatrist\jpsychologist would then have the decision of signing or not signing a "permission slip" to take whatever hallucinagen you please. each slip would expire within two months, and in that time you would be legally allowed to buy a personal sized dose of any type of psychadellic two times. After two good trips, any person will have underwent some changes, so at that point they would have to be re-evaluated. Pretty smart huh?"

I'm going to continue from right before I gave my examples.

Another weird effect, is that i seem to become very self aware, which isn't neccesarily bad. Lately, i've had a very stable level of self confidence, it's at just about average. When i'm on adderall, I'm very good at, and very interested in Myself, from an outsiders view. Lately i have a much more accurate idea of how good I look at that exact moment. i can tell if my hair is messed up, if maybe my shirt is sitting on me in a funny way, or if i just shouldn't wear whatever combination of clothes again. Going a little deeper than appearences, I've got a much better idea of my own personality from an outsiders view. Which is a very positive thing, because I now have a sense of closure about many of the relationships/friendships that haven't worked. The knowledge about my own personality has also led me to realize that sometimes, around people, i don't act like myself, i feel like a need to entertain, and i'm horrified of akward silences. So on one hand i'm kind've the funny guy who can improve a undesireable sitution, but on the other hand i've realized that i've grown anxious about having a serious talk about... anything. And if you don't recall my dad recently died at the ripe old age of fifty two, and there were severall serious talks i wanted, almost needed, to have with him. But i always tried to lighten situations, avoid conflict and avoid uncomfortable talks and truths.

Basically, as you can see i have a million things on my mind. Between that and the increased motivation that the adderall gives you, i feel like i could write a book, and like I NEED to become a politician or some other influential figure. My problem with this kind've state that i'm in is that, I don't want to let it go. when i sober up, there's a good chance i'll be like every other suburban guy. Grow up, get a job, have kids, retire, and die. But i have a feeling that if i keep taking adderall every once in a while, that sense of being unfufilled, like i'm not carrying out my purpose, could really start to wear on me. so if you've made it all the way to the end, i must say, Thanks, it's important.

P.S. in case you haven't noticed i'm very unfond of being told what to do, of living under someone else's circumstances. And, i've got all of these ideas in my head, that i believe could make a difference, but i'm horrified will go away. And both of those quality's make for a ambitious, individualistic, and hopefully one day, a very satisfied man. However, I'm fifteen (i wanted to leave that for the end, i'm not smarter than average, but most fifteen year olds who have such revolutionary ideas or thoughts are usually kind've obnoxious about "resisting the man" and all that crap.) , so until i'm no longer a minor i can basically either Sit and wait, or sit and wait.

Again, sorry for ranting