Experiences - is this chick I met on the bus missing something?

[leia]

Long before finding this forum, this chick I met with more than sufficient background with a certain alkaloid from years past (though, for dependency/safety reasons she prefers the moderating nature of coca tea as a vector) ordered a box of WINDSOR paper-wrapped tea bags from an extremely prominent domestic online (potential trainwreck) source.

She first made a cup of tea using three bags and didn't get much. But then, within a half hour, she chewed (LIKE GUM, swallowing the saliva) a couple of bags WITHOUT any alkaline and got BLASTED, more than was pleasant (she tells me). Subsequently, she and her friends burned through an entire box by chewing the bags like gum. The paper acted as a sort of binding agent, making the tea fully chewable, even with an elasticity approaching that of gum. This was convenient for school, social occasions, etc. All her friends, including some with no uncertain familiarity with a certain alkaloid in its salt precipitate, agreed that this WORKED. She says she also tried it with half a TUMS alkaline tablet and this seemed to improve the effect, but not drastically.

So, when she ran out about a month later, she went to order more, but was confused by the "export quality" terminology along with comments left by other customers to the effect that this phrase indicated alkaloid removal.

She was then vocally advised by her vendor that this WINDSOR tea was of "export quality" as well, and that to obtain the less-"processed" version, she must purchase the windsor in an mylar which, surprisingly, cost the same amount per tea bag from the same vendor. The chick I met was confused. The vendor also advised this chick I met that the "organic" teas she sells are all of a quality which, though legal for importation, have /far less/ alkaloid removed. The chick I met was advised to purchase a type of "organic" BAGLESS coca FLOUR that she believes to be vendor-specific, so I will not mention its name. More confusingy, this type also read "export quality" on the vendor's custom oblong labels, so the confused chick I met went with another "organic," bagless bolivian coca flour in a mylar-type bag.

The chick I met appreciates the vendor's service, politeness, etc., but suspects herself to be missing something concerning the hoops through which the vendor must jump, including BS the vendor may have no choice but to flow. The chick I met also has a slight suspicion that the vendor may simply be steering customers to a product for which the profit margin is higher, as "house brands" eliminate middlemen back home. Confusingly, this would not explain why the vendor offers WINDSOR in a mylar-package, claiming it has less alkaloid removed, and yet charges the same price.

Anyway, the chick I met says she received a mylar bag of "organic coca flour" in the mail the other day, expecting to have her socks knocked off by two grams as tea, but was pretty disappointed. She then prepared a cup of tea from two shots from a backpacking espresso percolator, which she drank along with a TUMS, and the effects were very nice.

Still hoping to recover the effect of simply chewing a supposedly lobotomized windsor bag or two, the chick I met spent a few hours reading all of your fine posts in this sub-forum. I spoke to her on the bus yesterday and she related all she had read here, along with her major disappointment that the firm conclusion here seems to be that the best administration method is this no-swallow mouthFULL of spit, alkaline and loose leaf matter method.

She tried it herself and observed that it did seem to work better than drinking tea, but, NOT AS WELL AS CHEWING A BAG LIKE GUM (a purportedly weak brand of tea bag, according to y'all), which involves frequent swallowing (and thus the ability to move around, talk with friends, and actually enjoy the stimulation). The chick says that the 45-minute rule seems hoplessly impractical as her mouth continuously produces saliva to the effect that it is quickly FULL, that this is really unpleasant, and that she suspects she somehow tried it incorrectly. She says she wishes she could somehow stop saliva production at a certain point.

The rule that mileage varies does not seem to account for such a drastic disparity in experiences.

Any input would rock.

PS- the chick I met is considering preparing an alcohol solution, but she has an extremely low tolerance to alcohol and little interest in drawn-out extraction methods. She would lke to know if there is a simple, quick method for preparing a vodka that can be sipped, swished, and swallowed with the desired effects without getting too drunk in the process.

PPS- sorry for such a ridiculous first post.