Injecting - feelings....thoughts.....desperate.....

[laing1981]

hi there

first time injecting
when the needle first punctured swiys skin and then vein, wot was ging through swiys mind, was it out of desperation that this route of administration came about?

why was the decision made?

was it to retain the smack longer?

any regrets? was the first time painful? scary?

thoughts and experiences please.........

[Junkhead23]

He was sort of thinking can't believe that he is doing this. He didn't inject himself someone injected him and it was only small amount. Soon afterwards he thought 'was that it' and was wondering what all the fuss was about.

The reasoning behind it was purely economy. He was spending large amounts on dope and it wasn't touching him in the slightest so he naturally thought that injecting would save him lots of money and he maybe able to do other things again. How wrong can a person be?

With regards to regret no he doesn't think he does regret it. He regrets finding out how awesome heroin is in the first place though.

[dyingtomorrow]

SWIM had been snorting dope for a while before he tried shooting it. People told him it was a lot better shooting it. So after a while SWIM decided to try it, and liked it. He wasn't scared and didn't have any negative emotions about it.

Afterwards he was like, wow they were right, it is a lot better to inject it. Plus it cut the amount of heroin he needed to get high to like 1/3 or 1/4. SWIM doesn't regret it, SWIM knows he wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for heroin.

[ex-junkie]

one of swims ex bfs gave her the first shot. she only intended on doing it the once. this was back in her pre-opiate days of amphetamine use- which quickly descended into abuse from that day forward.

[chillinwill]

Red Rock's girlfriend at the time was the one that first shot him up. He was a little nervous but eager to feel the shot ass he was preparing it and then once she stuck the needle in him, he thought to himself he hopes he doesn't OD on his first go round with the needle. He also couldn't believe he was doing this as he never thought he would go that far. Once the warm rush hit him though, it was all she wrote......

[BrownStreakRailroad]

one of SWIM's freinds at the time was selling gear and SWIM was clucking and needed a little tick off his mate. his mate agreed but on the condition it was injected, because he wanted to inject and as all of our other mates smoked, he didnt want to be the only one who was injecting....nice ay? SWIM hates injections at the best of times and couldnt look at his friend injecting him and he also held his breath the whole duration of the procedure. though it was a fairly painless experience as his veins are pretty healthy and has huge ones impossible to miss on the bend of his elbow, no tournique needed. SWIM liked the initial hit, it was something he hadnt felt before but he felt the hit wore off pretty quickly and he decided he liked the whole smoking scene and effect better and only injects once in a blue moon, he did to be fair feel pretty dirty after the first dig.

[laing1981]

swim actually thought there would have been more replies to this thread!! lol
swim thought it was a worthy one

lol think its quite funny that users can be afraid of needles and usually get over the fear of them

swim isnt a user but swim loves getting needles, pretty weird??? haha

peace out

[zulu1690]

swim has only had about 4 or 5 digs all in all and the first was during the drought after september 11 cos swim had no car,no money and had to cheekily ask a mate who only injects to sort swim out.swims only decent veins are on swims feet.got rid of swims rattle but was probably shit gear anyway.

[Cheap Paradise]

Swim's first (and only time thus far) banging it was on thursday. Prior to that, swim had sniffed it twice. The first time was only half a bag and didn't do as much as swim expected. It was a very nice feeling, with a distinct feeling of being sedated, and swim was rather itchy. However, when swim sniffed an entire bag to the face, she fell in love with the drug. She had been interested in shooting up for about two weeks or so, even before she had even tried the drug, and although some of her friends around her did not want her to try it, especially her friends that had done it before, they knew she is a very curious person and that she was going to end up doing it. Anyway, one of her friends, who used to be a heroin addict and now does it every now and then, offered to do it for her because he didn't want her to end up doing it to herself and end up hurting herself.

When she finally did it, it was like nothing she had experienced before. Although sniffing an entire bag was a heavenly experience, nothing compares to banging it straight up. She felt the drug almost instantly and as soon as the needle went in, she knew she had developed a needle fixation.

Prior to a month ago, swim had only ever tried weed and dxm (both only a few times back in high school). She would have never predicted getting into more hardcore drugs and it still has not fully hit her that she is playing with heroin. Although she is aware of the dangers of injecting, swim is definitely planning on doing it again. She is going to do it herself the next time because the only people she knows that are able to do it are not willing to do it for her again.

The first time injecting for her was not scary or painful. She wasn't afraid of what shooting up would do to her or how it would change her perception of the drug. Right before doing it, she was a little nervous about the needle going into her vein, but she got over that after a few seconds. She didn't feel any pain at all and she does not regret doing it. Swim is still rather inexperienced with the drug, so it's still all fun and games for her, but she knows that the drug could potentially lead to more serious problems for her. Swim does not have an addictive personality, but she still realizes that there is always a serious risk of getting addicted. She is more concerned with the fact that she has a very curious personality, which can be a little reckless at times, and it leads her to experiment with things that may be too much for her to handle.

[m.swinehart81]

I know that this probably doesnt need to be said but Im going to say it anyway. Be careful swiycheap paradise. Swim was the same way when he first tried heroin. Swims problem was that he didnt give the drug the respect it deserves... Swim told himself that it wasnt as big of a deal as everyone made it out to be. He in turn ended up addicted to heroin. This was 9 years ago and swim is still using!

As far as the topic of the thread... I already kind of answered it but swim didnt really have any ill feelings about what he was doing. Swim had already shot up other drugs such as coke and meth so shooting heroin wasnt really a big deal to him. Swim has the bad habit of purposely not paying attention to the bad parts of things. He just kind of ignores them because he doesnt want them to effect how he feels about what he is doing. Stupid for him to do but what can you do?
As for painful or scary... Definitely not. Swim really cant recall any bad feelings about his first time shooting heroin. He enjoyed it alot and still does. There are alot of different things now though that make swim feel as if he should stop doing what he is doing.

[east_of_eden]

swim always associated heroin with injecting (before using it) and so when she decided to try it, after already doing several other drugs for a few years, she only wanted to shoot it.

someone else did it the first time and she was a little bit nervous because she hated needles but like someone else said, her veins were clean and no problem to hit so it was quick and easy and the high was amazing and intense and like nothing else she'd ever done and she instantly loved it.

she didn't immediately start doing it everyday. she knew the dangers of physical addiction and spaced the uses out every couple months, but everyone knows how that story goes ....

oh and yeah it is funny how most IV users hated needles (well most people do) but once swiy starts associating them with immediate pleasure then swiy loses all fear of them.

east_of_eden added 5 Minutes and 9 Seconds later...

oh, and one more thing, some people might think its really bad for someone to inject someone else for the first time, but if the person is really determined to do it no matter what, its better to be safe and have someone there who knows what they're doing.

swim and the guy she first shot heroin with had everything ready and were considering watching the movie "the gift" (Perry Farrell's movie) which has scenes of cooking up to try and figure out how to do it but luckily they decided to instead drive over to a friends house that was an IV user and have him do it.

[missparkles]

Swim had her first hit when she was 13.
Some guy she was in a squat with gave her it cos she was so timid. He said it would relax her and make her feel good.
As soon as the liquid hit swims vein she realised she'd found the answer to all of her problems.
She got that rush at the back of her throat and she felt warm.
All of swims childhood problems disappeared. She could even have sex without feeling bad. She didn't feel anything to be honest.
But for swim feeling nothing was definitely better than all the awful feelings of rage, anger and hurt she was used to feeling.
Swim chased that first hit for nearly thirty years.
She never ever found it.
The warm feeling left too.All she was left with was "numb."
She got cold a lot, and shaky and sick.
Eventually she decided that any feeling was better than no feeling.
But sometimes, when she's feeling vulnerable she remembers the first time.
And to this day she still finds the memory of it stunning.
It was the best and the worst thing that could have happened to her.
She's not sorry she did it but she wouldn't want to do it again.
Chasing that first hit was like chasing fresh air.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Beautifully written. I'm glad you got the feeling back.

[laing1981]

GOD!! that must have been awful swimisssparkles, still a child and sum guy shoots swiy up!!!!

[missparkles]

It wasn't good...but swim was already on that path, it was just the next rung down on the addiction ladder.
Swim had to go down before she could come up.
It used to affect swim deeply, but she looks at what she has now and realises that it was just another coping skill, another of life's learning experiences.
It doesn't hurt any more.
Swim does appreciate swiys compassion for swims child though, thanks.

[just some chick]

I can relate to swiy's story misssparkles. Swim's experience was very similar, struggling to avoid feeling because for so long so thought it was better than feeling anything. After six years of feeling though, it finally became to much and she succumbed to the escape which has made it that much harder to feel now.

As for the OP, swim's first time was with a boyfriend as well, though he was already a hard core user and she was curious, niave and unaware of the way it would become her life. It was only her second time using and since she'd done plenty of other so called addictive drugs and left them where they stood she thought she was stronger than all those 'stupid people who got addicted', only to become one herself.

There was a bit of a needle fixation that developed for swim after that because even when she thought of using during the clean time, she imagined the sting of the needle, the rush, the little drop of blood. Considerably more 'romantic' from swim than simply snorting and the rush is something that is forever imprinted on her soul.

[missparkles]

Swim used to have a needle fixation, just having it in her arm could ease W/D. She could get a buzz just thinking about the feeling.
Swim hopes that last sentence made sense?
Now it's gone to the other extreme. Swim is now so fearful of needles.
She has to have regular blood tests and has no veins left. Every test is a nightmare to be endured. Swim panics the day before, and is a nervous wreck by the time she goes to her doctor for the actual test.
Another consequence that swim wasn't aware of all those years ago.