HELP: Repairing Brain Function

[jeman91]

I was unsure of where to post this . . .

SWIM did:

1. Marijuana
2. Salvia
3. DXM (polistirex and hybromide)
4. Klonopin
5. Xanax
6. Adderall
7. Psilocybin/Amanita Muscaria Mushrooms

SWIM'd have to say the most enjoyable of the trips had to be his Psilocybin Mushroom trip and his DXM trips. Marijuana, for obvious reasons, and DXM are his favorites. DXM had the greatest toll on his body for sure, and AM-Shrooms were fucking pointless, nauseating and a waste of money.

SWIM'd like your opinion on something though, PaulO. As of late SWIM's last Psilocybin mushroom trip, he has felt a great deal of awareness of the toll that drugs have taken on his body. He's 17, academically well off, and paranoid that he has messed with something in his brain. As far as the use goes, SWIM had binged on DXM twice, the trips were about a year apart form eachother, and he induced for about 5 days in a row [1 trip a day, 1st-2nd plateau trips]. He had tripped on mushrooms twice, salvia once, smoked marijuana consistently for two years, and tried the prescription medications mentioned once each. Something that must be mentioned:

His friend and him created something called "pplars," (pot-pill lars, don't ask about where the lars came from) which were a pot brownie without the brownie around it. Basically, pot cooked in highly saturated fat-oil (secret ingredient) and put into empty gelatin capsules. They were very powerful, sending a girl that he knew to the hospital with an anxiety attack. He ate 2-4 of these a day for two months. Overall, after the drug use, he has feelings of:

• Anxiety
  Depressive Thoughts
  Feeling of detachment (Mind-body)
  Feelings of being on auto-pilot
  Looking at his life as if it were in the point of view of a movie-goer watching a movie about their life

At first these feelings felt as if... well, I'll let an example explain it. He felt as if when in a conversation, he was unable to really get a grasp on where his conscious thought/motives were coming from. SWIM would be able to carry on a physical conversation without what appeared to be a train of thought, and they were highly intellectual conversations as well, in social gatherings and whatnot. Also, SWIM would feel that he was constantly waking up during these conversations, as if he hadn't been there prior, but really was because he was talking.

Because of these feelings, SWIM had been paranoid enough to inhabit Vitamin Shoppe (SWIM goes there pretty often now). At first it started as a way to increase memory functioning, because SWIM felt that was the most important thing he had lost in the drug frenzy. But as of a month or so ago, he's started a routine of eating organic supplements to help in increasing his overall brain function and bring himself back "into his life/body." The list includes:

Ashwagandha
Serotain (containing 5-HTP, Vitamin Shoppe guy recommended because he thinks that the detachment has to do with a legitimate case of depression)
FOCUSFormula

• Containing:
  Vitamin C, E, B6, B12
  Folic Acid
  Phosphatide Complex
  DMAE Bitartrate
  DHA Complex (Omega 3 Fatty Acid Concentrate)
  Ginkgo biloba
  Gotu Kula
  Huperzine-A
  Vincopetine

Phosphatidylserine Complex Tablets

Is SWIM over-self-conscious? Ignorant? Uninformed? Will this even help? It's been about a month, and there's been great improvements, however the marijuana consumption has dramatically reduced (SWIM hadn't smoked for 8 weeks up until after prom last weekend, he has been taking the supplements for approx. 5 weeks). SWIM feels the drugs that may have had the most direct impact on him have been the DXM, pplars, and overall mushroom use.

SWIM can tell you the incredible mushroom trip too, and his hilariously bad Salvia trip and DXM trips, I'm pretty knowledgeable on the effects, visual, physical, long term and short term, of all the drugs SWIM's tried and more, however, I'm very conscious and would appreciate some input from people educated on the topic. I don't think it's quite depersonalization disorder, any opinions?

[doppey]

Sounds like the marijuana may be the root of the problem. It could have been any of the trips but the symptoms you describe happen to many people who smoke herb. It may take up to a few months or even longer but the feeling should pass as long as you don't smoke/consume herb.

Sorry to be the one to break it to you. Hopefully someone else has some more input.

[RuffinReady]

jeman91, Hi
Sounds like SWIY would start with the "saturation".
I know, a while ago SWIM made a double batch of pretty strong brownies, and he ended up being the only one eating them. So it was day after day, and he had fun - oh, did he have fun, but when the brownies were done - and they were great brownies! (So SWIM tells me), he was kinda strung out for like a week or more afterwards. Short term memory problems, anxiety,depression especially depression! And that was just pot! SWIM felt a little less depressed each day, and seemed to function a little better each day. Took a couple weeks. I know swim can't do what he did at 18.
And SWIM used to be pretty wild - a no holds barred kinda guy when it came to partying. But he had the same problem back then, it just took more! I think that it's the same for all of us. Sometimes its time to take care of ourselves!

[jeman91]

See, that's the thing. SWIM did take care of himself, and for 8 weeks he noticed some drastic improvements in the areas of memory/recall, concentration, happiness, realization; however SWIM didn't feel as if he had reached normality yet. It's really not something he would read about online as a common thing, as most people report being able to attain normality once the cannabinoids have left their systems, but for SWIM it lasted even longer...

jeman91 added 3 Minutes and 13 Seconds later...

BTW, SWIM meant he had stopped marijuana/caffeine consumption (the daily drugs) and had picked up the herbal supplements, and then noticed the improvements in memory/recall, concentration, happiness and realization.

[Gradient]

jeman91,

If I'm correct, the individual in question is 17 years old; my pet-chimp can't remember a more confusing, contradictory, and fickle time in his own life. No matter what was done, it seemed as though emotional stability was a seemingly unrealistic, unfeasible state of mind to achieve - and that instability characterized basically every facet of conscious awareness. Despite generously positive and abundant attention from everyone he respected, he just couldn't seem to be 'happy', though he's certain everyone around him believed he was. Addictive drug-use sky-rocketed, dietary/nutritional attention diminished to near neglect, and he went from a highly social member of his community to a willfully anti-social cynic.

Right in between the age of 19-20, the chimp calmed down dramatically. He was able to derive far more reward from the things he deemed intellectually significant, and felt a remarkable reduction in the irrational influences of hormonal inconsistencies. He felt far more confident as a decision-making, independent, self-driven individual. Coincidentally, this coincided with several major decisions all are faced with in the middle of college. He began to take care of his body, which resulted in even greater emotional stability and perceived control over the consequences of his actions. While he's still a cynic, he's become far less anti-social and has achieved something he might consider to be emotional stability.

An extremely unlucky few are emotionally identical to the people they were during late adolescence; sure, the most rudimentary characteristics remain - but much is learned and integrated into emotional processes, and this takes time because the biological systems underlying such changes are still growing & developing. There's alot to be said for hormonal horrors as well - when the body generates such unpredictable levels of mood-altering hormones, it's tough to maintain a stable emotional perspective. Paying attention to nutrition will always help, because the health and state of the body translates directly to emotional states generated by the brain. However, this isn't the panacea we all wish it would be. In my chimp's experience, this is just one of those things that takes time and conscious reflection - but is absolutely feasible to overcome with objective and constructive introspection.

While routine administration of DXM certainly isn't healthy, and a dependence upon benzodiazepines will inevitably instill feelings of disease - it doesn't seem like drug-use is the root of the issue here. However, if either of these two are consumed in excess, they'll certainly generate cognitive instabilities. I could easily be wrong, but these sound similar to emotional 'growing-pains'.

Sorry for the wordy response, but I recognize and sympathize with this. I'd recommend avoiding any kind of pathological approach to the instability, at least for a while longer; there's nothing wrong with you. The attention and self-care you've demonstrated are enough to prove that you've a healthy, functional, and adaptable individual; the vast majority of people your age aren't half as conscious of their health. Sometimes too much introspection inevitably instills anxiety, and it helps to simply have confidence in the decisions you'll make in the future and just 'go with the flow'.

[Spucky]

My Cat thinks that the Ts. have only one Problem,
he think that he "just need some Pills" to get "normal"!

The Life is not working so in the real Reality!

Give your Brain some rest, a Time-Out.
Low level Stress, nothing loud, just "wellness"!
That will help, and start to change your Way of How to Think!

[jeman91]

thanks for all the advice! i'd love some more!

[corvardus]

Felia Balls believes SWIY will get over it in time. Felia Balls wouldn't call your "binges" excessive albeit the pplars intrigue SWIM.

Felia Balls' opinion is that since SWIY think thoughts SWIY wouldn't dream of thinking when SWIY have a taste of sobriety it will have an effect. With the 2 month "bender" SWIY can imagine that your brain is hardly working at full-steam. The way of thinking changes nearly all the time, but SWIY tend to be aware of it and so the sense of "self" is the same, suppress that and SWIY doesn't really process the changes.

Purging the rest of the psychedelic component from your body is like coming up from the depths and like diving needs to be treat with some respect. One could liken it to the bends a sudden stop and SWIY realises that your way of thinking has changed, and that is where SWIY thinks SWIY might have done some damage.

The feelings SWIY are experiencing is just your mind re-equibrilating itself to its way of thinking and its various chemical axis coming back to normal. Plus at your age your mind is constantly changing anyway.

Felia's opinion is that for a little taste of heaven SWIY need to experience a little bit of hell. Just be thankful SWIY isn't in the throes of a full psychotic episode of Eastenders.

Felia would put it down to experience and lay off the stuff for a while, until SWIY finds yourself and are, once again, happy with yourself.

[Ballad of Birds]

My raven too has experience with some of these feelings in a similar stage of that is not too far behind him.

It appears that of the list of psychological distress symptoms SWIY listed that anxiety and depression are the issues at hand.

My raven is not so familiar with anxiety first hand, but he's seen depression in many different forms.

SWIY seems to be very focused on the neurological aspect of his condition. My raven has a hunch that your situation is seated more in the realm of your psychology than in your neurology.

In his opinion the drug use in question is much more likely to disrupt one's psyche than one's brain. The depression and anxiety may have been something unrecognized in SWIY's life and a factor that brought SWIY to the substance use in the first place. They then could have brought to light or intensified these conditions and possibly even created them all together.

Either way, Gradient had a lot of good advice in his post. SWIY is in a very confusing time of his life in a very confusing world. It is alright to be unsettled. Very common. Very correctable.

My raven would recommend that SWIY focus more on his thoughts and the issues behind them and just let the idea of brain damage depart from his woes. The supplements certainly shouldn't hurt anything, but SWIY's faith is misplaced if you expect them to rid him of his problems.

Hope this added some perspective or was of some help. Definitely willing to discuss more if SWIY wishes.

[jeman91]

Excellent post thanks for the help, I'm aware that there are probable psychological aspects in the roots of my problems, but the feeling of being on autopilot and not truly experiencing anything, just going through the motions of life, can't possibly be just psychological. I can't just "think" myself out of this unless you've got some suggestions on ways that I can help improve my situation through just thinking?

[Ballad of Birds]

Those are common aspects of depression, man, not something that is likely the product of actual brain damage. Sure these mind states reflect there own unique neurochemistry, but they are reversible.

As far advice goes. I would suggest making an active effort not to think about these things. When ever you catch yourself fixating on these things don't get frustrated or increase your focus on the subject. Instead do something, anything, to distract your thoughts. Like for example counting to ten then finding something in the environment to devote some thought to.

Examine your life in a different light. Take an intensive and unflinching look at who you are. What events, people, and things sculpt you and how? Don't get too hung up on what you've been concentrating on lately. This could give you some insight towards other possibilities as to what is causing your current conflicts. This information could allow you more direct corrective action.

Take care of yourself. As you may or may not have heard. That whole healthy eating and exercise stuff ain't bullshit. It makes a true impact on physical and mental health.

Also I'd recommend finding a craft. Getting caught up in that can help keep your thoughts distracted and even become something that helps further define who you are putting you in better touch with that. Being productive does a lot for happiness.

Also try out just regularly telling yourself that you are alright.

Some of this could sound general or hokey, but aye man, like I said, my raven went through bouts very similar to yours and these are the things that came through for him.

[jeman91]

SWIM understands entirely that you guys recommend cutting the pot out of his life, which he is totally capable of doing cold turkey, however (understandably) it is the summer, and SWIM really like to smoke with my friends and have a good time, but at the same time he'd like to keep taking his supplements. Do you think that taking the supplements, and also taking 1-2 bowl hits a day to keep him stoned will have negative effects on his brain chemistry? Especially since SWIM feel extremely happy/content when I'm high after taking Serotain (5-HTP), and wants his memory/other cognitive functioning to entirely recover because after the summer he starts college. Should he just drop pot all together? He has had negative thoughts on how bad the 5-HTP interaction with marijuana could be, considering 5-HTP amplifies serotonin production, and marijuana effects the release of serotonin.