How can you fill the hole ?

[AceOvArts]

When a poly drug addict comes to terms and finally gets help can someone with experience please help explain to SWIM how the hole that was left behind that substances filled is itself filled again if at all ?
Thanks

[Dickon]

There are going to be a different answers for different people, and it is not realistic to expect all "existential angst" to ever totally go away. My cat who used opiates, crack, benzos, amphetamines and alcohol addictively for many years finds Zen meditation and Yoga really helpful, along with 5 Rhythms Dancing, which he discovered when in rehab. He also has a lovely wife and son with another on the way.

I know this word may upset many, but some sort of spiritual dimension to life is important. I hate the word as it conjures up both religious nuts and new age weirdos, and I consider myself neither. By spiritual I just mean anything that nourishes your soul (nah....the language is so loaded here!!! Maybe "inner self" would be better). You'll know it when you see, or rather feel it. Those things that make you feel good about yourself without a hang-over, and which you respect yourself for. Often it's overcoming obstacles that feeds this inner creature, or achieving things that are not easy.

Exercise seems really important for many. Eat well, take care of yourself. Try to act like someone you'd admire for acting that way. A good question to ask in any situation is: "how would someone I admire act here?"

Cat feels infinitely better without the drugs, but healing is a slow process, so don't expect to quit a lot of drugs and feel better straight away. Think months and years not days and weeks. The process of healing requires, or at the very least greatly benefits from, active input. That said, I don't believe it can be begun without total abstinence or at least minimal use of drugs in a way one is comfortable with: this latter seems almost impossible for most.

For many, such as cat when he first cleaned up, 12-step groups can be invaluable. Simply seeing people years off drugs feeling good about life can be a huge incentive to stay clean. The power of connecting with other humans cannot be emphasised enough, especially as addiction tends to lead to a lot of isolation. It's a great place to meet people, and cat still sometimes wonders if it wouldn't make sense to go back to N.A. and always knows it's there as a last resort.

Be kind to yourself, and leave any perfectionism at the door. You'll have moments of craving, anxiety, feeling like shit and 101 other bad emotions on the journey, but there'll be moments of great elation and comfort too. Welcome to the human condition.

On a practical and personal note, I believe doing an hour of sitting Zen meditation (two periods of half an hour with a brief walking meditation in between them) every day has helped inordinately with feeling better in myself. It's no magic bullet, but my levels of craving, anger, anxiety etc. have gone down no end since I started doing that about 5 months ago. I sit in a group twice a week, so it's not a totally isolated practice either which helps. An hour a day is a lot, but 15 minutes or so a day might prove helpful.

Cat is still in the process of getting back into mainstream living: he's hoping to start some voluntary work in the addiction field in a couple of weeks, and from there get in to paid work in the field. I think this will also build self-esteem which can only be a good thing.

There is an awful lot of information on this in the R&A forum. It's worth having a gander at some of the threads in this forum to see a selection of views. It's unlikely the drug used is going to make a huge amount of difference to what will "fill the hole".

I hope things turn out well.

Dickon

Reputation Comments on this post:

	wise words
	good advice, quitting is hard mental and physically. taking care of ones self is key
	Very good advice.

[Master_Khan]

Originally Posted by Dickon

I know this word may upset many, but some sort of spiritual dimension to life is important.

There is nothing quite as peaceful as feeling loved and accepted by God.

Originally Posted by Dickon

Often it's overcoming obstacles that feeds this inner creature, or achieving things that are not easy.

If you just can't make the God connection, this is the next best thing.

Master_Khan added 3 Minutes and 4 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by ex-junkie

masturbate furiously, write a book about your experiences, renovate something, make something, masturbate furiously, start painting, masturbate furiously, and just masturbate furiously basically.

Just in case no one mentioned to masturbate furiously, swim highly recommends it!

Masturbating in a genteel manor also somewhat under rated.

[zulu1690]

swim was once clean of heroin for 3 months and replaced heroin with alcahol.just could not get to sleep at night and swim had an empty feeling in swims stomach which swim finds difficult to describe.swim would recommend plenty of exercise to try to combat the sleeping trouble but swim was too weak and succumbed to heroin.swim wishes swiy all the best as swim would anyone who tries to get and stay clean of any substance.all the very best of luck

[AceOvArts]

Thanks Dickon, those are words SWIM has heard over and over in one form or another but its good to get them as a concise chunk to refer to from time to time rathar than hunt for them across a spattered wall of random instructions which sometimes look so bewildering in a forum as huge as this that the onlooker just turns away without any answers.

[Spucky]

My Cat think, to fill that Hole is needless because we have to move,
we have to step over that Hole, with a Bridge and a helping Hand.

It`s stupid to fill a Hole with no Ground,
we already try to fill it and get sunk into the Morass!

My Cat done it in a Way like Dickon,
my whole Life i just done floating, like a Bee in a Summerday,
like a Monkey from one Banana to the next!
So, i learn self-disciplin,
i had to learn to be I!

[ex-junkie]

Originally Posted by AceOvArts

When a poly drug addict comes to terms and finally gets help can someone with experience please help explain to SWIM how the hole that was left behind that substances filled is itself filled again if at all ?
Thanks

find some hobbies. here are a few suggestions... learn how to dj if you dont already, start producing electronic music, learn an instrument, find a nice parnter and fall in love, masturbate furiously, write a book about your experiences, renovate something, make something, masturbate furiously, start painting, masturbate furiously, and just masturbate furiously basically.

[AceOvArts]

Originally Posted by ex-junkie

masturbate furiously basically.

LOL...great one, SWIM used to and it did help, now though SWIM cant be bothered...SWIM thinks this has something to do with opiates

[coelho]

Originally Posted by AceOvArts

how the hole that was left behind that substances filled is itself filled again if at all?

Originally Posted by ex-junkie

find some hobbies. here are a few suggestions... learn how to dj if you dont already, start producing electronic music, learn an instrument, find a nice parnter and fall in love, masturbate furiously, write a book about your experiences, renovate something, make something, masturbate furiously, start painting, masturbate furiously, and just masturbate furiously basically.

Well... unfortunately for the straight men, furious masturbation only "fills the hole" of women...

[Spucky]

My Cat think Masturbation is in a Way the same like taking Drugs!
So, People just change one for another one.

Many Drug-User have a wrong sexuality,
mostly through Sexual Abuse.
If they just start to Masturbate (Hard-Core) there will be no benefit,
the People will stay inside their Snailhouse!

My Cat thinks that the best advice to give can be only to stay away from extremity!

[ex-junkie]

^the brain chemicals it releases are reason enough to do it again and again. :P

[coelho]

^^ It was meant to be a pun...

[AceOvArts]

also, with age, masturbation becomes a lot less furious

[Dickon]

OK. Let's get back on topic please!

[cyndi]

Swim found that time away from the drug gets better as far as cravings go. She did yogo, socialized more, and excercised. This was before tragedies in swim's life that put her at square 1 as far as the addiction and recovery deal.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Good job on explaining how to help fill that hole and deal with cravings

[AceOvArts]

SWIM feels he is missing something in his life that he fills with anything that will dull down or remove the feeling of the missing part (eg, drink, drugs).
SWIM dont know if, though he has been in a relationship for 24 years, that the missing part is true love, he dont know if its a part of his mind that will never be filled or even that this is just an empty metaphor, that there is nothing missing but he uses it as an excuse.
SWIM is trying to give it all up but is scared of the boredom. SWIM sounds like a stupid kid of about 15 but is 43. *sigh*

[Spare Chaynge]

Swim fills the whole with hobbies. Ones that require lots of attention to details. He use to grow hydroponic tomato's. He now does partial mash beer brewing. He is thinking about stepping it up to All grain. Keep in mind swim does not use any drugs or alcohol.

Basically anything that requires measurement of temperature, Ph and liquids swim loves. Swim also goes to a lot of concerts and when not doing all this he is working at school to get into a 4 year university.

Brewing beer is something that swim has fallen in love with. It has allowed him to make many acquaintances who all like beer brewing. He now is a very popular man at the party because he shows up with homemade beers and gives them away. The brewing process has period of down time where swim is just basically watching to make sure everything is ok. During this time period swim will read some of the classic American literature short stories.

Swim has also taken to listening to music and going on long urban bike rides at night. He purposely takes alleys and other small streets he would never be on normally. He lives in a very safe city so he can do this.

Swim would not recommend brewing beer if you are struggling with staying sober.

[AceOvArts]

SWIM used to enjoy hydroponically growing flowers just for the hobby, but then had kids and decided to stop growing. As for hobbies, SWIM is finding it hard to think of things, Of course this is ridiculous because its a very full world out there but even so, he still dont know what he would do with himself. Think SWIM think for gods sake !
Maybe this is why people turn to religon ?

[Spare Chaynge]

astronomy,candle making,kite flying, Bike riding, Jogging, puzzles, model airplanes, volunteer service, reading, fishing, sailing, skiing, golf, tennis, scuba diving, horseback riding...... ect. think about what you like to do.


paintball, video games, rock climbing, skate boarding, hunting,


Take a class in something you enjoy. For example swims local community college offers Fencing classes. They meet for two hours every Friday night and that is it. Some one could easily work and take a class like that. They also offer many other interesting classes like med evil weapon training.

[sleepwalker]

Started the whole church-going thing and started to like it, it still fills the gap.
And get hobbies,keep pets ,they'll keep you busy!

[MissM87]

Love. Work. Music. Exercise. Praying. Church. Reading. Writing. Baths.