Opinions - SWIM has just ONE SERIOUS question for all of SWIMMERS about cocaine...

[dcrn]

What's up all.

SWIM would like to ask all of you SWIMMERS to pitch in and answer this question if possible. To make this thread short SWIM will give SWIY a brief history about SWIM's cocaine use and how it all started and the downfall.

- SWIM first tried cocaine, in 2007 he thinks. SWIM sniffed only one line at NEW YEARS EVE...and felt great but he never looked back - or wanted to do more. After this SWIM never did cocaine again......then about 6 months after that he was given a gram of coke, real good quality and he thought he wasn't even gonna do it. SWIM came home, made a few lines and felt great. EVER SINCE THAT DAY, SWIM DID COCAINE. If he had it, he was using it. If he had money, he would spend all his money on cocaine. TOLERANCE went up big time. Even with good cocaine, SWIM has to snort 3-4 fat lines to get himself high. Anyways, all this lasted for about a year of SWIM using blow heavily. Stopped working out, eating right, didn't care ABOUT anything but to get cocaine. Route of administration: snorting. Never iv'ed any drug.

Now, SWIM has been clean and sober for more than a year. WHY did SWIM quit in the first place. The answer is not money, not anything else but SEVERE panick attacks SWIM started to have. He remembers one night his heart would skip beats constantly, severe palpitations and all... extreme panick attacks that led SWIM to quit cold turkey, permanently and so he did.

Now, SWIM does not want to use cocaine ever again. SWIM thinks cocaine made him "hyper" permanently that he can't relax.

So SWIM's question would be: why is this happening. SWIM is just trying to find out why he is not able to do cocaine. SWIM used to snort grams and grams overnight and felt fine...and when his panick attacks started he can't even snort one line without severe palpitations and fear of dying.

SWIM won't lie. He LOVED cocaine. It was like having diamons or something. SWIM is glad he quit but SWIM just wants to know why these extreme panick attacks came. SWIM was always for upper high not a downer. COCAINE was perfect. SWIM still wishes that he can do a line here and there in moderation but knows if he does these extreme panick attacks will be ready.

Forgot to add: SWIM has been on Paxil for more than a year for anxiety/panic attacks. SWIM believes cocaine is responsible for them. SWIM is all right nowdays, with no anxiey well maybe some, but nothing like it was when SWIM used cocaine.

Why some people can enjoy it, and some can't.

dcrn added 6 Minutes and 1 Seconds later...

SWIM forgot to add:

When SWIM quit cocaine, that day he quit beceause of following symptoms:

- 5 min after he snorts a line, he can feel his strong heart beat accompanied by palpitations...when swim feels and hears this...it sends a signal to his brain that he will die and all sorts of nasty thoughts....then the worst part comes... BREATHING...swim becomes unable to breath and has the urge to take deep breath every 20 secs but sometimes he can't unless he yawns...SWIM doesn't even mind the palpitations or strong heart beat thats what cocaine does but this breathing was the biggest problem.

WHEN SWIM first started he had no problems. Now 1 line would give him problems breathing.

Even after he quit, days and months he had trouble breathing. Some people (doctors) told swim it's chronic hyperventilation - which came not true because when SWIM was put on Paxil his breathing improved.. so it looks like anxiety caused breathing problems. Feels like SWIM wasn't getting enough air that would make him try to get deep breaths... this was making SWIM yawn a lot. If he's able to complete a good yawn then he' was able to get some decent air.

[Alfa]

There is no question in your post, but there is an answer:

SWIY has already quit coke over a year ago. Now quit thinking about it. SWIY has been consistently posting here about coke and the panic attacks during that year. This is an unhealthy situation. You need to get on with your life.

Please reread this a couple of times.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Very wise advice, straight to the point.
	It's good to know that the mods really look after the members here! DF is Love!

[josjo18]

yea i was wondering where in the post was the question..

[bugatti99]

Agreed. Move on and put it in the past where it belongs. Sorry to be so blunt but swiy obviously will not be able to enjoy this drug any more and should quit thinking about it, swiy quit a year ago!

[debbydoesdamage]

SWIM thinks the question being asked by the OP is "Why me?". Despite the fact that SWIY's psyche is screaming at SWIY to stay away from cocaine, by creating a reaction that makes being really high intolerable to SWIY instead of enjoyable, that's not enogh for SWIY to let it go. SWIY wants to know why he can't do a line now and then for fun......Well the others are right, SWIY answered that question within the question. Aside from the panic attacks (which seems a clear message from SWIY's psyche that cocaine is not beneficial to SWIY's well being), SWIY writes in the OP that cocaine became everything that mattered to SWIY literally overnight.

My guess is that the OP is going through a phase of simply feeling pissed off that his brain/chemistry/whatever is wired for addiction, making recreational use something SWIY can't enjoy. Ironically, only addicts spend very much time being angry that they can't abuse drugs safely. People that can use drugs socially, don't give it that much energy.

The answer to "why" some people get hooked and some don't......there are dozens of theories, take your pick.....brain chemistry, environment, mental illness, etc, etc. SWIM thinks the root of addiction is different for every addict. Maybe if SWIY spent some time working to gain insight into his "roots" it would help. SWIM got tired of being pissed off at her addicitions, it's just as productive to bang her head against a wall over and over, and SWIM would encourage SWIY to do whatever to possible to avoid unnecessary angst brought on by himself. It is what it is.

Good Luck

[Venusia]

Is Swiv's question "Why can't Swim use coke anymore due to the panic attacks?" or is it "Why (and/or How) did the coke change swim so that he has panic attacks when swim tries it now?"
Is swiy wanting to have another coke habit? It sounds to swivy like swiy is unable to let go of the coke, as others have posted. It almost seems as if swiy is still addicted psychologically and he only stopped using by default; because he couldn't handle the paranoia and heart issues. It doesn't seem to ring true when swivy tries to imagine swiy quitting for himself, but rather he quit because he was unable to tolerate it any longer. Does this sound about right? Perhaps swiy should ask himself "Why is it swim thinks about coke so much? "

The bottom line is, swiy can't do this drug anymore, so it would be best and healthiest for swiy to just let it go and focus on something entirely different. This may be easier said than done, but it can be accomplished. Best of luck, and stay away from the coke!

[happywhiterabbit]

Swim told me he had to (almost) quit cocaine as it made him go grazy, anxious, nervous , agressive and even worse.... unfortunately Swim has a few friends that also use cocaine pretty often and he tells me that he doesn t know much people who didn t go wrong at some point by using to much of that stuff.. those were panick attacks, extreme anxiety, heartbeats problems, depression and so on... Swim thinks that cocaine is a lot more vicious than people think ! And the good but worse part is that cocaine can be found more n more easily, and users are younger and younger....
Anyway, Swim said the best was to quit, get your mind off of it, and try not to be around people who use it so that you arent tempted.... Its been working pretty well for Swim. Its also good to know that Swim is more into MDMA type of drugs.. maybe thats why he could pretty much quit cocaine...

[MasterG]

This is just a guess so someone back me up on this or refute this, but I believe that cocaine is rather toxic to heart muscles and such. I was once told that cocaine eats away at your heart and such. Also it could be that SWIY was constantly stimulated by cocaine, which put strain on the heart.
Does SWIY find heart problems in other areas of life (running, sprinting, excessive workouts, nervous situations?) if so then SWIY could have damaged his heart. Has SWIY gotten this reaction or tried any other upper?
But my advice in any rate is that of everyone elses in this thread, move on, find a new joy in life, focus on learning new skills and other stuff that makes you happy.

MasterG added 1 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

and by make you happy I meant make SWIY happy

[nojokeshere]

Well, a friend of mine LIVED on uppers - any kind she could get ahold of - for about 7 years. I'm not talking the 1 tab dose the boys in the locker room took, or the 1/2 tabs the girls were sharing... I'm talking 6 to 8 at a time every few hours. And then - had to take a good 6 or 8 just to go to sleep at night too. (crazy)

And cardio probs are a big yes for that one.

Even when not having pain in chest, there's always a heavy warm tired feeling in the chest and the heart area is always stabbing or nagging pain. Nothing major mind you, she don't complain about it. But I know it scarrs her. She's afraid to exersice or do anything that might get the pulse rate up.

You can see her hear rate... pretty wild. It's like the thing jumps up out of her chest and does a summer salt, then hits her chest hard, then decides to skip a few beats before it flutters around again.

She use to sit up at night with her finger on the 911 button just incase during real bad nights.

Worst thing for the old ticker... phen/fen. Now that's a 24 hour ride there. But it rips up the valves - causes leaks, and the arithmia is freaky.