Parents of addict enable

[dazedandconfused]

What to do when parents enable and won't listen to reason.He'll never hit rock bottom as long as they(his parents) reward him.Father takes him to Atlantic City NJ to gamble three days after addict walks out of rehab He can do whatever he wants and they continue to bail him out of trouble and shelter him from the full force of his storm They talk "big" but they never fall through with their threats.What does one do when that happens and they won't/don't "get it" What is thier problem???? Don't they get it that as long as they allow him a roof,food, and to get away with stealing their money,wiring him money when he's out and runs out of gas,etc... and them paying to get his truck out of impound. I know I have to "step down" and try not to worry about the fast grave they are "helping" him get to. Urggggg... it is so frustrating! By the way this is a 37 yr old man not a teenager nor young adult.
PS Atiy have any take on the effects of having him put in involuntary? As his wife I could but I think that would just backfire ?? Besides,get swim too emotionally involved when I am trying(forcing)swim to disconnect for own safety and sanity.I am curious as to the feelings and thoughts that atiy would feel (or did have this done)
Atiy in the eastern NC area know of any good support groups for swim? plenty of AA but hard to find NA for loved ones of...

[sweettea]

Seems swiy doesn't have a good enough relationship with the in-laws to discuss the subject and the problems. There's nothing swiy can do to make anybody do anything, much less someone's parents. The only thing swiy can control is how swiy reacts to situation.

There's a section about recovery programs for NC here: http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=259 Possibly one might have or be able to suggest a support network for swiy. If anything find an objective person to talk to just to help swiy cope.

As for committing someone involuntarily. SWIM hasn't been in that situation, but would think the potential for completely stuffing up the marriage would be great. Course, possibly the marriage is getting stuffed up now, only swiy knows.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Sensible advice given with kindness.

[missparkles]

Firstly swim totally agrees with Sweetea and swiys ability to change anyones behaviour. You can't.
Swim is going to risk it and be totally honest, but swim feels like swiy has already come to some conclusion about this.
Swiy realises that the situation is unlikely to change and as such it's about swiy making sure she doesn't become emotionally damaged by her partners behaviour. Sometimes we have to walk away from loved ones to enable them to grow. It hurts but it's the best thing for both in the end.
Involuntary committal?
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink, can you?
Whatever your decision, swim wishes you all the best for the future.