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Cannabis Use, cultivation & production of Marijuana, Hashish, Ice-o-lator & Hemp.

 
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  #1  
Old 08-06-2005, 18:12
Mistress_Maggie Mistress_Maggie is offline
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Thought we should share some stories of the weirdest, funniest, annoying and bizzare things that have happened with Mary Jane at the "helm".


Aight....I'll go first seein' as though it was my idea & all....


The hardest part for me is picking ONE to share..but here goes.


Picture this.....East Coast....2002...BAD case of the Munchies settles in...with nothing to eat and no grocery stores open. Well SOMEONE (who for the purpose of this story, will remain annoynomous)...decided we should have PB and crackers.


Well..I always buy the healthy kind of PB...with the peanut oil on top...that you have to stir in..... Long story short.....we settled on using 1 electric mixing beater...and the mixer.


*WARNING *WARNING *WARNING


...the peanut oil will get all over your hand.....causing you to loose your grip on the jar....and WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP.....that shit will go all over the sink....cupboards....stove...ceiling....floor..... ..your face...


So if I have saved just one poor pothead the same fate....I'll consider this post successful.


~Mags
  #2  
Old 08-06-2005, 21:42
Creeping Death Iridium member Creeping Death is offline
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Me and a bud were sitting in my living room and smoking J's. Long story short, i hit him in the head with a chocolate banana snack and we laughed for 10 minutes straight. We also referred to them as "ninja bananas".
  #3  
Old 08-06-2005, 23:04
korky8097 korky8097 is offline
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wow thats tough to choose just one. I remember back when i was in
middle school, we were staying th night at my place (me and 2
friends). We used to always go out on the golf course across the
street from me to get high or chill and trip or whatever. So this
night was no different, we were walking back from getting really
extremely high, my friend in mid sentance tripped over absolutely
nothing, the ground was completely flat. The funniest part was he
was so blazed he didnt even try to break his fall with his arms.
It was hand down the funniest face plant i have ever seen.
His face landed right in a little peice of mud.


  #4  
Old 08-06-2005, 23:22
Mistress_Maggie Mistress_Maggie is offline
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Good ONES!! *does defense karate stance.....*on look out for ninja bananas.......


Ummm....I did the exact same thing once Korky...only it was a wheelchair ramp.....the problem was....my 2 girl friends were laughing SOOO hard....as was I....lying on my face.....suddenly.....I was almost peeing my pants....so I had to fight them off trying to help me up.....so I could get my knickers down quick enough not to have an accident.


But....I'll save the pissy-pants stories for later


P.S. No need to be stingy and tell just ONE
  #5  
Old 09-06-2005, 04:31
Chaote Gold member Chaote is offline
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The first time a smoked pot my voice went up to like this weerd transvesteit falasetto thing and i tlkaed like that for like 2 hours and i couldnt get it down
And once i was at this party i was in a little room with a bunch of peolpe and had some weed in my wallet in a little pocket and there like get it out and i was so baked i was like fuck i cant find and handed it off we took out all the cards,money,papers etc until we finally found it in this zipper pouch, but it was worth it
  #6  
Old 09-06-2005, 05:16
Mistress_Maggie Mistress_Maggie is offline
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Aight....*clears throat.....


Once upon a time....on the East Coast(where all good stories begin) there was a little hippy town. One night...while driving back to the little hippy town....from the closest McD's....3 sexyfemales...toes painted...smelling yummy.....are having a 4some with Sweet Mary Jane


One particular street has lamposts on both sides....for the entire length.....the driver quickly pulled down the airfreashner....and advised the travellers that they were preparing to land...and everyone should be buckled up....and trays in landing position....the "Captain/Driver" continued until coming to a complete stop in park position.....which made the Mistress laugh so hard....she peed her pants....But she couldn't TELL them.....could she?


Did she DARE????


Well....when they got to the tower of the castle....she decided she had to tell them....so she gently said...."If I tell you 2 something...will you promise not to hate me.


After much reassurance....she devulged the embarassing secret....one friend BURST out laughing......the other passed out .....WHAM.....Flat on her face....gave herself a black eye for 5 days.


~Mags
  #7  
Old 09-06-2005, 06:32
JewishNazi JewishNazi is offline
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After a full 12 hours of alcoholic festivities with me and some of my
mates, my brother muttered to himself "i wish one of us had some
marijuana". Seconds later, he was amazed that a bag of pot had
magically appeared in his hand.



Sure we had all (well most of us) heard the saying "beer then grass,
your on your arse. Grass then beer, your in the clear", but in our
inebriated state, we really idnt care how the saying went.



We 'dashed' around the house for almost half an hour trying to find
some thing we could use as a bong. In the end, we made a bucket/gravity
bong.



Being the most experienced smoker there, i went first. One cone and i
was GONE! world totally spinning, mounth as dry as anything.



about 3 hours later, i was awoken by one of my mates saying that my
brother had thrown up so I got up and went out to see. There, in the
middle of the kitchen was my brother, passed out, in the center of a
circle-ish vomit patch that had to have been atleast a meter in radius.



The conversation:

Me: hey, brother, wake up, your sitting in vomit

Brother: huh? what do you mean?

me: you threw up and now your sitting in vomit

Brother: what the fuck do you mean? why didnt you tell me! (other misc comments allong these lines)



I walked away assuming he would get up and go and have a shower. I was wrong, he simply went back to sleep STILL IN THE VOMIT.



about 15 mintues later, i realised he was still in the vomit, so i went and tried again



The conversation:


Me: hey, brother, wake up, your sitting in vomit


Brother: huh? what do you mean?


me: you threw up and now your sitting in vomit


Brother: what the fuck do you mean? why didnt you tell me! (other misc comments allong these lines)



this happend another couple of times and in the end we gave up on him

  #8  
Old 10-06-2005, 00:50
2ill4brasil 2ill4brasil is offline
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warning: long post


LOL @ the brother story


I got quite a few, I guess I get really high sometimes


I'm in college and smoking pot here is frowned upon and highly punishable. One of the first times blazing here I went into some bushes with my friends. We smoked for a while, then I saw some cops! I got extremely paranoid, rushed everyone, didn't even finish the bowl, just dumped it out, put everything in my underwear, and SPRINTED as fast as I could outta the bushes. I guess I was really stoned as I was running, so what I thought was a clear patch of grass to run on was actually a large, thick, ~4ft tall bush which fucked me up. After struggling through that fucking forest and finally getting out, I realized I had lost ALL my shit (including student ID, dorm room key, etc)......... but at least the cops didn't get me. NO WAIT, there were no cops. Apparently I just saw some random lights and thought it was cops. My friends clowned on me for a while.


Actually this story's better:
(Before reading this keep in mind that I was 18 and a first year in college)
First night drinking/blazing at the same time. Went out to a party, REALLY fucked up, feeling outta reality. I'm half azn, and I saw a girl who looked half azn, so I approached her and made simple conversation (no intent to mack). I forget what happened, but about an hour later I found myself making out w/ her on the dance floor. Good news? no, I see her face and I feel like committing suicide (i.e.: she was really unattractive). It's late and I don't know where my friends are, there dance floor is just me and her... and a drunk couple making out in the corner. I tell her "I'm sorry, but I gotta find my friends, im really fucked up, gotta go, I'll call you"....... BUT shes like "no, you'll never call me again! youre just gonna leave me!". After failed attempts to bounce I conjured up a plan.


Me: So, what year are you?
Girl: First year. you?
Me: I'm a fifth year. I'm 25. Man you're pretty young, this is kinda weird
Girl: No it's not! that's so cool! But wait, why do you live in the dorms? (freshmen live in the dorms usually)
Me: uhhh...... well..... I'm an RA. yea... and I have a single.. u know, trying to get back into the dorm scene..
Girl: ohhhh.... you have a single??? hey let me come up!
me: uhh well.... they have room checks.. at 2 AM.. every... wednesday night. of every other month. i mean it's because or else ppl house random ppl in their singles, and if i get caught i gotta do community service, etc.

So I walk the girl back, for some reason we make out again (I shoulda just brought her back if I was gonna be that dumb), and I FINALLY get rid of her and walk back thinking it's all over


an hour later I get a call from an unknown number. I pick up and someone is yelling at me. It's the [ugly] girl. Turns outthe girl isone of my good friend's roommates. She told her a story of making out w/ a 5th year 25 year old RA and her roommate got pretty pissed and told her the truth.
End result: all my friends find out I made out w/ my friend's ugly roommate, I get clowned on for a number of weeks, and all the girls hate me for a while because I'm a sneaky liar who tricks ugly girls into making out with them.


Keep in mind that I'm not actually a jackass like that, I was just REALLY fucked up =)
  #9  
Old 10-06-2005, 02:56
Mistress_Maggie Mistress_Maggie is offline
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I've said it A THOUSAND TIMES......


Women that take advantage of BEER GOGGLESare Skanks!!


  #10  
Old 10-06-2005, 03:37
sands of time sands of time is offline
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Hmm, swim has been through quite some funny stories... How about a special one! This is the tale of swims first time gettin wasted when he was 15! (Way to fuckin young for this kinda shit might I add)

Swim went to his friends apartment where he got a 12 pack. Swim and his friend went to the woods with the 12 pack. Within about 10-15 minutes, swim drank 9 of the beers, since his friend wasn't a big fan of beer. Swim and his friend returned to the apartment, then BOOM, the beer hit him like a wall as he stumbled into his friends room.

Swim remembers laying on the floor, but the next thing he remembers, he is next door partying w/ his neighbors, taking huge rips off a bong. Swim drank at least 4 shots and 2 beers at the party and he is the most plastered one obviously. A nice lookin girl told swim to "put this stuff on your face, its cool!" Well swim wasnt thinkin obviously and he rubbed toothpaste all in his face! Some older guy informed him of this and showed him to the bathroom. Everyone had a good laugh at the drunk. Once there, swim forgot why he went there, and returned. This got even more laughs. Eventually he washed it off.

For the next hour swim watched tapes of sanford and son with a burn out. The rest of the night was obviously blurry, but he did not puke at all, which was amazing. The morning after was brutal though, but he got picked up by his folks and slept the rest of the day. Swim isn't stupid, but he has played the fool a few times at the hands of alcohol.

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