Permanently messed up?

[Rach]

I'm a 22 year old female from the UK. Eight weeks ago (new Years Eve)I took a dose of ecstasy (three over around twelve hours). Since that night I have not been the same. I'm scared that I may have permanently f**** my head up. I didn't have a bad trip at the time it started the next day.


I've been quite cautious about doing drugs in the past.I smoked a bit of weed at uni and have taken pills only a handful of times. I can't believe that this has happened. I feel numb emotionally and feel detatched from my environment.It feels like I'm in a dream all the time and I just can't wake up. I don't know if what I took was something else and not ecstasy. My vision is also completely grainy.


I went to my doctor who seemed to think that this is justdepression. I have never been a depressed person in the slightest before this.I havenever had any problems before whatsoever.I was a completely 'up' person naturally.It's not even like I feel low at the moment. I just feel nothing. I am taking prozac reluctantly but nothing seems to be changing. Has anyone else done this to themselves or know of anyone else who has. Is there any hope that I may recover or am I completely f**ked up for good? I am so scared

[sadistic_juggal]

hey yo i knowz wat ur sayn same thin hapnd to ma brother but it cured now i looked up a shit load of info for on his behalf and founmd him a cure witch haz help that b cause ur seritonin level iz f**ked it proly brokn part go to a health herbal store type thn like gnc get a pill called 5-htp and that well start to rebuild it and help u out itz abought 25$ a bottle

[icemaster]

Although I doubt this effect is physiological, it is very probable that MDMA could cause such a psychological after-effect of this sort; everything seems so amazing, heightened etc. when on the drug that normal life seems different and mute in comparison; nevertheless, it should be noted that most users feel that a one time use of MDMA, instead, brings a whole new joy and meaning to the world...

[telefone]

Rach i felt the same way after my first drop...although mine went away after only a few weeks, kinda just dissipated. Much like icemaster said, you are moved from the high like u never before felt<img border="0" src= "smileys/smiley10.gif">





Reality is only what u perceive it to be !!

[perf]

My head is f**ked up from long term use of E, 8 years. Go see a doctor that is specialized in chemicaldepression. He knows what to do. Good luck.

[argovistov]

Major depressions after long use usually starts to get better after 6 - 8 month. Mirtazapin are becoming a common treatment here.



If you only used E once it sounds strange. You didnt get a panick attack or similar during the role or after during the little post depression?

[Rach]

Thanks for your replies. Athough I feel my life is over for the moment I'm doing everything I can to get better. Between the prozac, omega 3s and endless amounts of bananas that I'm eating Ihope toget back to some sort of normality by replenishing my serotonin levels. I have trawled the internet for seven weeks and it seems that the world of medicine needs to catch up and accept that people are going to do E whether it's illegal or not and come up with research for treatments to help poor bastards like me. Icried after reading erowid MDMA experience vaults.( read stick's account'Permanently screwed up my brain').It's pretty similar to me apart from my memory's not as badly effected.It seems that there's a few of us etards hanging around now.I thought I'd be ok as long as I didn't drown my brain or take it too often.I know people who have hammered it for years and it has notaffected them negatively at all.I must have justbeen unlucky.


Idon't think I had a panic attack in the days after or during. I did have a throbbing headache and felt a bit faint though I'm pretty sure it wasn't a symptom of anxiety or panic (would this account for how I'm feeling now if it was a panic attack by the way?)


Anyway cheers for your replies. Will researchMirtazapin andeven say a few prayers that I escape fromlimbo.

[argovistov]

SSRI doesnt work that great if you use drugs or the cause of the problems are drugs.

[BlondieUK]

Hmm I know what you mean.

SWIM has had a couple of experiences that left him feeling very detached/messed up for up to a month.. and then SWIM has also had experiences where he has felt perfectly fine the next day.. and it doesn't seem to have anything to do with dosage or whatnot...

Go out, meet some friends, have a few drinks, do something different, break the cycle.

[Micklemouse]

Please take note of the dates at the top of posts when replying to threads, & especially if thinking about giving reputation or reporting self-incrimination!

The advice given is sound enough, & may be useful to someone in the same position - but please take into consideration how old the thread is!