Addiction - What are swimmers fears of years of heroin abuse?

[laing1981]

hey, people, swim would like to know what other swiyers fears are for their health, state of mind, basically their whole lives due to years of abuse from shootin, snorting, or smoking h?

this is swims first thread so hopefully its a good one!!

Reputation Comments on this post:

good idea for a thread concept

[C-Saint]

Well SWIM is a former H addict in recovery and these fears are what got SWIM into treatment in the first place...

Now, SWIMS H addiction had only been going on for 3 years, with addiction to various Opiate-based pills for 6 years... But things got that bad!


Main fears:

1. Lack of financial resources... SWIM would NEVER have any money! There was never enough, even when SWIM had a good paying job, there was still not enough to suffice. So as a result, SWIM stole cash, pawned possessions, and borrowed money from loan companies/banks til he no longer qualified for them. STILL in the hole cuz of that!

2. Constant sickness... Due to the above statement how there is never enough money, withdrawal is always going to be a constant issue. And it ALWAYS feels bad.

3. Respiratory depression... This occurs often with those who regularly insufflate heroin. Not only do opiates naturally depress that area, but constant inhalation of ANY powder will take its toll on one's lungs, and SWIM's were not exception. MANY nights SWIM sounded like he had an asthma attack going on a regular basis.

4. TOTAL Testosterone drop! This of course leads to many things, usually a lack of energy, much less muscle mass (SWIM got soft while using), and of the worst side of effect of lowered testosterone is ZERO SEX DRIVE! SWIM didn't want sex, he could care less about it, and its not because he was consumed with getting high all the time (which he was), but because the hormones that control that were so low it didn't even seem like an option.

5. Being a slave... Basically, wheter folks like to admit it or not, they are a slave to Heroin during the peak of an addiction and thats no way to live. Sure, some folks manage it. Some can even thrive and live great, productive lives, but they still NEED it and I just don't want that to EVER be the case again.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Point 5. is so on the money its a wake up for all

[nick23]

Not worried about physical or mental health due to heroin being fairly benign,but very worried about my soul.SWIM has lost virtually everything else and would like to hang on to his soul.

[zulu1690]

swim can totally agree about the respiratory problems.swim has been woken up many times because of the noise swim makes when asleep.swim has been smoking on the foil for about 15 years and at 42 years old swim is not getting any younger either

[killersnowman]

hmmm.... swim loves sex when doped up... its very enticing to swim

[dyingtomorrow]

SWIM is fully aware of all the standard safety info concerning IV heroin use, the ignorance of which causes almost 100% of the harm of heroin (it's ridiculous that the government keeps such information and access to resources, such as clean needles, actively hidden in many cases, and then blames the harm that THEY PURPOSELY CAUSED on heroin). He believes the health benefits of heroin outweigh by far the almost non-existent hardships on the body, since he knows how to use it safely.

The only thing really in the long run is constipation. This just encourages SWIM to drink a lot more water though, which is healthy for more than just the intestinal track.

SWIM doesn't really have any fears. He would say the inability to have much money is a bad one, but as long as SWIM has constant heroin he doesn't mind being broke. Before heroin, SWIM's only goal in life was to get enough money to be independently wealthy and not have to work, so he could hide in the dark somewhere and be left alone forever, because he hated HAVING to work and HAVING to be around people and HAVING to do all the thing you have to do if you don't have the wealth to buy independence. With heroin now SWIM takes it all much easier, and can appreciate day to day life for what it is, rather than loathing it to the point of near insanity, as he does when sober. SWIM still would like to have money so he could create a loving and perpetually fun party environment for himself and his friends (and be able to learn and create and help people and such), but he isn't deathly depressed for not having it. If SWIM were to ever lose the ability to have heroin though he would simply be done with it all, so worldly issues wouldn't concern him anymore. But I suppose that would be a fear - it would be better to live than not SWIM guesses.

[VClacker]

Originally Posted by dyingtomorrow

SWIM doesn't really have any fears. He would say the inability to have much money is a bad one, but as long as SWIM has constant heroin he doesn't mind being broke.... If SWIM were to ever lose the ability to have heroin though he would simply be done with it all, so worldly issues wouldn't concern him anymore. But I suppose that would be a fear - it would be better to live than not SWIM guesses.

Please tell me I'm not the only person on this forum who finds this incredibly depressing? dyingtomorrow, what prompted me to reply to you was not this post alone but many others of yours where you fiercely justify SWIY's self-destructive tendencies. Drugs should enhance life, not become it. And if the fact that SWIY's life revolves around "constant heroin" doesn't bother you, when will you realize there's something wrong?

I don't normally stray into the Heroin boards but some of you guys need to wake up.

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by VClacker

Please tell me I'm not the only person on this forum who finds this incredibly depressing? dyingtomorrow, what prompted me to reply to you was not this post alone but many others of yours where you fiercely justify SWIY's self-destructive tendencies. Drugs should enhance life, not become it. And if the fact that SWIY's life revolves around "constant heroin" doesn't bother you, when will you realize there's something wrong?

I don't normally stray into the Heroin boards but some of you guys need to wake up.

You are mistaken in all your premises, particularly in the assertion that heroin does not enhance SWIM's life. SWIM's life "revolved" around the "constant" taking of 2-3 toxic drugs with all kinds of awful side effects from his psychiatrist that didn't do anything to make it so he was not in constant psychological torment every day. Heroin is cheaper than these drugs, has no side effects except constipation, and actually works, perfectly. Heroin is what stops certain people from self destroying. True, there are people who accidentally got addicted to it and want to quit, and SWIM believes every resource should be available to these people to help them do so. But there's also a group of people out there who have tried literally every amount of physical exercise, herbal / new age cures, psychiatrists/doctors, and every type of anti-depressant plus a huge slew of other psycho-drugs - and have nothing work and usually experience even greater psychological pain and trauma in the process.

Heroin or other opiates is the only thing that STOPS their "self destruction" from the incurable pre-heroin using pain for these people. Anti depressants require someone to stay on them FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE - if you want to tell me that is not a problem in any case except using opiates, you would be missing the points so bad that you would be too stupid to talk to. And many of those same anti depressants have serious withdrawals that can be even worse than heroin withdrawals. Every cause of the harm it has the potential to bring about in someone's live is completely artificial and arbitrary: it's either the law, the artificial price inflation due to black markets, lack of quality control, or the government hiding simple safety information, and doing things like arresting people who try and help someone who is in a drug-induced medical emergency.

Then, when you compare it to something like alcohol - a drug that makes people stupid and for a large percent, violent - it just becomes ridiculous to think that it is illegal; and that is just talking pure recreation purposes to boot. For some small percentage of people, opiates are the only thing that can make them functional and not hating life every drawn out second of the day.

The bottom line is that Psychiatry's ultimate purpose and what it attempts with every person is to make them happy and functional, and frequently prescribes drugs with severe withdrawals and that you have to take every day. It is the government alone who decided there are certain classes of drugs they can't use in treatment, no matter how effective they are, based largely on bigotry (and racism in the early 20th century), and fear mongering which is a left over of puritanical crusading against drugs and alcohol. The "harm" that comes from heroin use is the exact same that came from alcohol when IT was illegalized in the U.S. If some people are so disgusted with the system that they would rather take their chances and use something that helps them and makes them feel "normal" when a decade or more of toxic drugs and psychiatrists did nothing but make the pain worse - that is clearly the SMART decision rather than live in misery or kill themselves.

[msmogadon]

Originally Posted by laing1981

hey, people, swim would like to know what other swiyers fears are for their health, state of mind, basically their whole lives due to years of abuse from shootin, snorting, or smoking h?

this is swims first thread so hopefully its a good one!!

They only thing which bothers SWIM is the general publics attitude to heroin addicts. This will be the main thing that will prevent SWIM from achieving what she wants from life. SWIM knows that she's the kind of person people are shocked to learn is an addict. She does her job well. Cares a great deal for the people she looks after, would never dream of stealing from them or taking drugs that don't belong to SWIM and won't go into work monged out her face. Guaranteed though as soon as it was discovered about her addiction her life would not be worth living. Due to shame, no chance of working again in the future etc etc. In fact swim knows that she cares about her job more than many 'straight' people.
SWIM wouldn't know what to do if this happened as her job means everything to her.
SWIM's health is good and also her mental health and leads a mostly normal life but chooses to use heroin rather than alcohol, cigarettes or whatever else so called "normal" people get up to.
Heroin has not caused SWIM any health problems apart from trying to find veins and has helped her stay looking young and healthy.
SWIM's advice is eat healthily, drink water and take exercise and there should be nothing to worry about.

Reputation Comments on this post:

great post- an actually realistic view of heroin issues - and advice too

[BrownStreakRailroad]

Originally Posted by msmogadon

SWIM's advice is eat healthily, drink water and take exercise and there should be nothing to worry about.

this may be true for a certain time frame, however, after 13 years of nearly constant use, Heroin is now detremental to SWIM's health, mostly respiratory problems from smoking so much, also tobacco, cannabis and indeed crack have played a part, but if SWIY think how much gear is left on a tooter, how much crap do SWIY think will be in SWIY'r lungs? SWIM now gets bronchitis and has contracted asthma. problems are not just from smoking though, SWIM has perspiration disfunction and sweats like no-ones business and has problems with his plumbing too. SWIM is not a bum and works for a living so keeps a good level of personal hygiene, eats regular, healthy meals, OK have to admit the pure water intake is pretty low, but this does not keep the health problems at bay....SWIM also has oral problems, teeth are slowly falling out although not visible to other people yet but does get abssys on his gum often. SWIM's skin now is beginning to age, he has maintained a youthful look and looks much younger than he is but now Heroin is speeding the ageing process, though cigarettes play a part here too, his hair can also be pulled out in clumps!!! this is a recent thing over the last year but its a good job SWIM has super thick hair otherwise he may be bald by now!!! SWIM thinks the stress that the lifestyle brings can cause addicts harm physically and depression too can have adverse effects on SWIY'r health indirectly.
As SWIM said, SWIY maintain for a good number of years and while in SWIY'r early twenties SWIY are able to keep on top of things....but SWIM's body is slowing down as he gets towards 30 and things dont repair as quickly as they used to.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Some enlightening points about the damage heroin can do, even if not injected

[xxdan123xx]

Swim wopuld have to say the w.d.s are the worst part. some would say that comes from not using having funds etc but if he never started he wouldn't have w.d.s. ALso the shame of knowing some of the horrible things he has done to abtain this drug.

[ex-junkie]

swim used to be concerned that she was going to die a heroin/methadone addict. when youre on opiates, you have no regard for your life if youre in a bad place. nothing mattered to her then, she would have rather have been dead ffs.

however, in hindsight, what a fucking waste of time it all was. nothing huge got accomplished for years, she was under the grip of a substance. bloody mind control and ruins, all from a fucking substance. everybody will be left with some form of regret when/if they stop... swim knows many women who lost custody of their children, lost respect from their loved ones, and some who still to this day sit around the brothels waiting for customers just to get a fix.

:/

fuck that for a life... especially if youre over 30-35.

swim counts herself lucky. really fucking lucky.

[laing1981]

Originally Posted by ex-junkie

swim used to be concerned that she was going to die a heroin/methadone addict. when youre on opiates, you have no regard for your life if youre in a bad place. nothing mattered to her then, she would have rather have been dead ffs.

however, in hindsight, what a fucking waste of time it all was. nothing huge got accomplished for years, she was under the grip of a substance. bloody mind control and ruins, all from a fucking substance. everybody will be left with some form of regret when/if they stop... swim knows many women who lost custody of their children, lost respect from their loved ones, and some who still to this day sit around the brothels waiting for customers just to get a fix.

:/

fuck that for a life... especially if youre over 30-35.

swim counts herself lucky. really fucking lucky.

Swim thinks that your swiy'r attitude is brilliant! swiy cares deeply enough for her son to upkeep this attitude!!

respect

laing1981

[BrownStreakRailroad]

oh gosh, SWIM forgot his worst fear which is getting the big C. that is most definatly SWIM's worst fear of years of heroin smoking.

[SmokeNmirrors]

Swim is use to not having money but it would be nice to have but basically it would just go to heroin. Really swim fears losing the love of family and friends, never being able to get it back and just end up some kind of statistic used at dare or something like that. Its hard for swim to explain exactly swim just doesn't really want to die on the streets.