Heroin withdrawal questions

[miffy]

Firstly - Hello! It's not actually my first post, but pretty close to
it - I let my membership lapse, and have just re-registered. Anyway, Hi
to all!



My problem :



I've been on that lovely ole heroin for about 6 years now, off and on
(mostly on). It went the same way it did for most people, I think - did
all the other drugs, and dived into gear, as it's known in these parts,
as soon as it came along. Started smoking, and about eighteen months
ago started injecting - partly for $$$ reasons, partly for the buzz.



During that time, I've come off a few times, in various ways.



In the first couple of years, when I was just smoking it, I did a
couple of cold-turkey (why do they call it that!!??)
withdrawals, the last of which was pretty bad. Then came off on a
methodone reduction over 3 months, and stayed off for a year (moved
abroad). Since I've been injecting, I've been on a couple of programs -
came off on subutex over 3 weeks. This was about a year ago, and I
started using again as soon as the subutex stopped - so it only lasted
3 weeks. Then I went on methodone. Didn't really stabalise on it, even.
Managed to get my using down to about once every 5 days - which was
brilliant progress for me - just not enough, not fast enough for the
guys at the clinic, who stopped my 'script. That was about 3 months
ago, and I've been using ever since.



I think part of the reason I've always ultimately failed in all
of my attempts to come off has been that some part of me has enjoyed
doing gear. Whatever the reasons for this - partly self-destruction,
partly buzz, I think - they've always led me to start up again.



I'm now really feeling that enough's enough. I want to stop. All of me,
I think, although the only way to know if I can stay clean is to see
what happens. Still, I really think I've had enough. I'm depressed much
of the time, my girlfriend's had enough of my habit, she's splitting up
with me, and I can't blame her! I'm finding it really hard to get a
decent vein, so I've got hurty little lumps all over me. . . whinge,
whine, etc!



Also, I've really messed up my budget for this month, and it's going to
be really difficult, maybe impossible to pay for it until the end of
the month (when I'm paid). I've never robbed to pay for my habit - I'm
an office worker - and I'm not going to start now.



I would like to try another subutex detox - I think I've got what it
takes to stay off for good this time. Trouble is, after my recent
failure with the methodone, the people at the clinic are very reluctant
to treat me. I'm trying to win them round, but even if they do agree to
take me back, it won't be for a couple of months - and I don't know if
I can hold out that long.



So it looks as though I might have to go it alone. Something I'm pretty scared of.



Which I s'pose brings me to my questions. . .



Last time I went cold-turkey (I keep thinking of shivering poultry!)
was when I had a smoking habit, and it was nasty, about 3 days of real
illness, then a week where I couldn't really leave the flat, and aches
and pains for a further month or so.



But this time, I have an injecting habit, and I'm probably using more, too.



(I live in the UK, if that's relevant)



I can try to reduce my consumption somewhat, but only for a few days. I
find it really hard to keep it low when I still have gear about. But,
if I can cut down to half of my regular dose for a few days prior to
the final big 'STOP!' - will it make the withdrawal any easier, when I
finally get down to it?



How long can I expect the withdrawal process to last?



And is there anything I can take / do to make it any easier?







Sorry about the long post - if you've managed to read all that, thanks!
And if you have any advice, information or personal experience -
anything that might help - I'd be really grateful!



Cheers!Edited by: miffy