Opinions - are all heroin users self destructive by nature?

[Junkhead23]

SWIM has heard this a few times off various people and is intrigued to think what other users think of their habits.

For pacman he is definitely self destructive and has been for a long time.

What about SWIYS do SWIY see SWIYself as self destructive or is it just simply something done for fun?

[m.swinehart81]

Swim is definitely self destructive. Everytime swim gets upset, happy, or feels just about any emotion he medicates it with complete destructiveness. I think a big part of this is the fact that swim likes to live in misery... lol

[xxdan123xx]

even before swims drug times he was very selfdestructive. Always the first to hit the jump on his bike or climb up whatever structure he and his friends found. Maybe.. heres a though it is an adventerousness we have rather than a selfdestructiveness

[thebige]

Swim wanted to say no.......
So now that pac-man mentions it.......self-destructive behavior might be/is(?) one of the many root problems that can leed some into addiction...............
But if someone had showed a pattern of self-destructive behavior,before they were physicaly/psychologicly addicted.Swim belives that H might be to big of a monster for someone like that to have the ability to stop thier use.(without outside help)

[m.swinehart81]

Swim has been very self destructive through his whole life. Swim is also a heroin user and has been for the last 9 years. He has stopped 5 times. Swim doesnt agree with the statement that a self destructive person is completely vulnerable to heroins evil side. Everyone is vulnerable to that....

[mickey_bee]

yeah, swim would say he's self destructive. swims also noticed that he, and a hell of alot of the addicts he meets are or were into self harm too.

[chillinwill]

Red Rock is self-destructive at times and had learned to cope with that with heroin. He wouldn't say all heroin users are like that by nature though. Red Rock also thinks that some of the people that seek out heroin to hide from their feelings and emotions are the type that might be self-destructive.

[mickey_bee]

Originally Posted by chillinwill

Red Rock is self-destructive at times and had learned to cope with that with heroin. He wouldn't say all heroin users are like that by nature though. Red Rock also thinks that some of the people that seek out heroin to hide from their feelings and emotions are the type that might be self-destructive.

Definetly. Heroin attracts fuck-ups.
Not just because it is found around fuck-ups, but because it has effects that are extremely desirable to fuck-ups.

[ex-junkie]

swim was very self destructive before and during her addiction.

[dyingtomorrow]

Being drug free, eating healthy, sleeping properly, working out 4-5 days a week as he is inclined, working, etc. - SWIM counts the minutes when his life is like this, and has a constant feeling that is so pervasive and horrible that he can't stand it. It's the exactly same way that you just can't stand withdrawals after so long and they drive you crazy - that's what not having some kind of drug does to SWIM; he just can't stand this existence.

For SWIM his natural state of being is what draws him to self destruction and death - heroin is his fundamental essence's yearning and means for a way to have a life.

[ex-junkie]

Originally Posted by dyingtomorrow

Being drug free, eating healthy, sleeping properly, working out 4-5 days a week as he is inclined, working, etc. - SWIM counts the minutes when his life is like this, and has a constant feeling that is so pervasive and horrible that he can't stand it. It's the exactly same way that you just can't stand withdrawals after so long and they drive you crazy - that's what not having some kind of drug does to SWIM; he just can't stand this existence.

For SWIM it isn't self destructive. His natural state of being is what draws him to self destruction and death - heroin is his being's yearning for a way to have a life.

*thread hijack*

are the withdrawals worse than life without drugs in swiys opinion?

really swiy should cherish every moment he spends away from drugs because some people arent as lucky or strong enough to move away from them in their life.

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by ex-junkie

*thread hijack*

are the withdrawals worse than life without drugs in swiys opinion?

really swiy should cherish every moment he spends away from drugs because some people arent as lucky or strong enough to move away from them in their life.

SWIM has a difficult time comparing which is worse: withdrawals or being sober. SWIM noticed after quitting heroin for 2.5 months that his mental state sober is pretty much the same as during H withdrawals; that feeling of just constant, minute to minute trauma and horror - he just at least has a reason for it he can show the outside world when there's the physical aspect to it.

If SWIM could sign a contract where, for the rest of his life, he would have to be in excruciating withdrawals for 2 days for every 1 shot of heroin he got, he would do it without a second thought. Heroin = ability/desire to live for SWIM. He just deals with how much he hates living because, 100%, of the small chance that some day he'll be able to get heroin on regular basis so he can live (in the real sense of the term) again.

[miggeth]

Yeah, life without opiates is pretty boring. Just think, that's how everyone else lives all the time. Poor bastards.

[ex-junkie]

Originally Posted by miggeth

Yeah, life without opiates is pretty boring. Just think, that's how everyone else lives all the time. Poor bastards.

only if youre sitting around all day doing nothing.

people with addiction history need to find something to replace their time with. life can "appear" pretty empty when youre not running around chasing drugs anymore. in swims experience it was just as exciting when youre on your way to score, as it is when you administer it.

dyingtomorrow, swiys story saddens me. swiy has the potential to be whoever he wants to be, and do anything he wants now, and yet he is miserable.

really hope things start to look up for swiy mentally, emotionally, spiritually even.

[Junkhead23]

Pacman has to say it is the same for him. Crippling depression that is only solved by using heroin and yes he has tried many legal ways of being ok and it just doesn't work. Sometimes he can just burst into tears for no reason. It's not normal feeling this way and he dreads to know what is round the corner when he goes into rehab.

[Spucky]

Swim thinks: "Yes, we are self-destructive"
because we have to destroy things before it get stolen from us!

One of the main-reason are a "broken Family".
Once we lived pleasured in a happy and "normal" Family and we feel good and patronized
then suddenly a change, like the Death of Father or Mother or a divorce take place.
So we get robbed of our Happy Times, this destroyed our primaval-manners.
Followed by a misinterpretation in our behavior!

We don`t want that something bad like this can happen again,
so we developed a strategy of self-destruction of loved relationships
in the physical and psychical World!

Many H-Consumers love and need Saudade (Weltschmerz)

[ex-junkie]

^interesting point. unresolved grief or trauma is often lurking underneath a heroin addiction.

[rbegoniaz]

I think that the recreational user will say and believe their H chipping is more from an adventurist daredevil nature,whereas,long term H use could be viewed as self destructive.Most addicts have experienced some form of Trauma in early childhood.The inability to process because of lack of life experience one can see just how vulnerable that child stays as she/he matures.Swirs' own past is riddled(not the appropriate word but...)with several traumatic events that have been festering these long years.I think this is just another reason why extensive and intensive drug use takes more than your basic 28 days and some suboxone to achieve the holy grail.It is also the reason our friends can clean up and despite numerous attempts we haven't.The trauma needs to see the light of day and it needs a witness and before i get off on another ...Yes Swir has,is,and will continue to be self destructive.I also wonder if say,that guy that races fast cars views that aspect of his life as destructive?Or would it be the guy racing fast cars ,high on cheeba?LOL