Now SWIM haven't been using oxy for very long (longer than he thought though!), at first he thought it was only 2 months apparently that was 5 months
time sure does go fast. Anyways after a weird incident where SWIM decided to go to the ER albeit if it were an over dose he would probably be dead! This incident scarred him from taking opiates which lead to a whole new ordeal... withdrawal.
Now when he went to the ER he had no idea what was wrong with him (he thought his heart was stopping, and couldn't breath or sleep etc...) anyways doc told him this was probably just withdrawal symptoms. So for the first day he experienced a weird "heavy heart" is the best it could be described almost like a void in the chest making it feel like it wasn't beating, pulling his shirt away from his chest seemed to relieve it, which made him think it was some weird hyper sensitivity thing, but just in one spot. Severe panic attacks followed these moments every once in a while which lead to his heart beating very fast (worries SWIM normally, he worries a little too much). Then finally cold chills that seemed to numb his hands, like pins and needles feeling. After the numbness and damn nea heart attack SWIM decided to go to the ER to check himself out in case of an overdose, which would have happened pretty much 36 hours after the initial dose.
SWIM has seen people lose themselves to a drug and didn't want to go down that path, so since he was in the middle of withdrawal he thought what the hell go all the way. Most symptoms have gone, the heart thing lingers (doc checked heart out and said his hear perfectly fine and he doesn't have a heart murmur like SWIM thought he did!) and a general feeling of depression, nothing SWIM can't handle. SWIM still gets pretty tempted to have some oxy or the some of the 80 t3s he still needs to get rid of ... but he doesn't want to go through withdrawal again. Pro tip don't watch Intervention in the middle of withdrawal especially when it's all about oxy! Well I guess it can be inspirational but can also be be very tempting.
SWIM just wanted to get this off his chest. Just as a warning an addiction sneaks up very fast SWIM is very fortunate he noticed it quickly and had the resolve to stop. Good luck to everyone who's trying, don't give up!
Sorry if there are any grammar issues or spelling, I'm very tired and had to type this up quickly!
25-05-2009, 05:44
Hybrid Mode
