The only thing

[waltz#2]

The only thing that keeps SWIMs tiger in its cage is something SWIM's ex wrote a long time ago. It is not about drugs in the least...

"In days long past, with my mind occupied by callow intrigues, it did not enter my thoughts as often as one would have expected. There was almost a mutual respect between the boiling smear of tar on my soul and myself. Through the purity of youth, not yet knowing of the corrupt truth of the world, I was subconsciously aware that it had no right to me. It too understood this, and so my cognizance was only raped on long nights overflowing with inner reflection.
Despite this, it always prowled in the shadows, waiting and watching, like a tiger. The tiger stalked me, striking out at it's own will. I shed my tears and bled from the wounds. The scars are an ever-present reminder of my shame. Every part of me has been contaminated by this tiger, it lurks in every corner of my mortality and immortality alike. At the same time I walk alone through a jungle, trying to get a safe distance away from my predator, but it is everywhere. I cannot escape it's hungry eyes.
The tiger has attacked many times, but it is always careful to wound, and not destroy. That would ruin the sport of the hunt now, wouldn't it? When my flesh or my spirit is slain, when I realize there is no hope for survival, it's game is over. Again and again it rapes my thoughts; again and again it rapes my body. I battle against it, disillusioned by an unattainable desire for a placid future. Eventually the tiger's craving for my flesh becomes an insatiable hunger. The hunt must quicken and be brought to the inevitable end. It consumes every waking thought and steals sleep, my only solace. I don't want to wak to another morning; every night I hope is my last. I am so weary, every moment is an eternity every breath a lifetime of agony.

I now stand alone. The tiger's ravenous hunger has devoured everything around me and everything within me. As I look into the vast emptiness around me I see nothing but anger. It is the only thing I have left to feel. I drift through the motions, a hollow shell, waiting. The tiger has taken all that is precious to me; the only thing that remains is the expectation of the final blow. There is no way out. There is no where for me to turn. How can a solitary person stand against a tiger?"

SWIM only now has the vaguest idea of what this is about.

He watches his own cat (a real cat) walk with head low and lanky poise stroll down the driveway, snap the imaginary neck of his food, chatter his teeth at potential prey. He curls up in SWIM's lap and SWIM imagines the tiger he keeps at bay comforting him in such a manner. The cat pulls at his pant legs, and SWIM can see the tiger pull him down, and drag him to the hole he has already dug for himself. Even though the cat is a domestic animal, it is domestic on it's own terms.

SWIM wonders how other people imagine the tiger. SWIM has heard of monkey on the back, but even a good rendition of that would make SWIM happy.

Reputation Comments on this post:

interesting poem, I have no idea on your tiger act, maybe it could be every major challenge we face.