Experiences - First trip report, including musical and spiritual breakthroughs

[seamonkey]

SWIM would like to share his trip report. He does not, unfortunately, know the potency of the leaf he smoked, but thinks it might have been 6X. SWIM is 43 years old, and experienced tripper back in his twenties, and a current cannabis user.

SWIM recently heard about Salvia from a friend. His description of the experience was enough to make SWIM think, "Oh, that can't be good for you. None for SWIM, thanks. SWIM wants to keep what's left of his mind intact."

That caution remained with SWIM for several weeks. Last week, G4 TV advertised a documentary of sorts of Salvia. SWIM invited my friend to watch with me. As SWIM had feared, and at the same time hoped, dude brought "supplies." He had been keeping a small stash of Sally D for the occasion.

The clips of young adults taking their salvia trips were not unlike SWIM had seen on those terrible YouTube videos during cursory research. SWIM knew these people were having an intense and indescribable journey, and returning, seemingly, fundamentally intact.

SWIM decided after about 15 minutes that it would be OK to meet Sally. SWIM had a sitter, and he knew what to do...not that SWIM thought he’d need a sitter, being an experienced psychedelic user, but it was good to know he was there.

SWIM loaded the double-chamber bong with a small hit--just a pinch, less than a smallish bong hit. Note also that SWIM was sufficiently high from some Grade A cannabis, and half a Xanax.

SWIM relaxed in his recliner, bong on the floor, preparing for a safe trip into the chair. Took the hit, held it, and felt nothing. After a minute or so SWIM told his buddy it didn't seem to work. SWIM did feel a little warm, fuzzy feeling, but no real "trip." SWIM wondered if the stash hadn't gotten old, stale, or somehow lost its potency.

There was only one thing to do. SWIM tried again. This time SWIM loaded a slightly bigger hit and took what would be considered a good bong rip if smoking weed. By the time SWIM set down the bong, settled into the recliner and closed his eyes, he felt himself going. Of course, it's next to impossible to put the sensation into words. SWIM later told his friend it was like being wrapped in a Technicolor blanket. SWIM felt the colors and energy emanating from and surrounding his entire body. SWIM’s mind was clear, as if in a lucid dream, and swim found himself playing with and manipulating the energy surrounding him, as if in the middle of a fractal kaleidoscope, manipulating the patterns with his fingers. Though SWIM knew the experience would last only minutes, he still asked his sitter, "So, this lasts HOW long?" “A few minutes,” he said reassuringly.

The television was still playing. In the same program about salvia, they bagan discussing real-life mmorpg gaming--dressing up and re-enacting epic mmo battles. SWIM peaked just as they went into a virtual battle, and it was as if their description of the battle was analogous to SWIM’s salvia trip. They were walking SWIM through the experience, telling me what was coming next, while talking about something completely unrelated...or so it would seem to someone who was not tripping at the time. For SWIM, it was damn real. At first SWIM’s buddy had no idea what SWIM was talking about. Thanks to TiVo, SWIM was rewound to the moment his trip peaked, and discussed with his friend how the content of the show meshed with the trip. He got it. His reply was, "Oh. That's evil." He meant it in a good way, SWIM thinks.

SWIM had been told there were no hangover or residual effects to a salvia trip. SWIM’s experience was a bit different. It could have been memories of the trip, SWIM’s brain trying to make sense of what happened earlier, which made it difficult to sleep, though it wasn't a fitful sort of insomnia. It was more like meditation, or a continuation of the lucid dream from earlier in the evening.

SWIM did sleep OK after a bit and awoke feeling fine, yet still a bit altered. Functionally SWIM was OK, and made it to work without any problems other than turning the wrong way on a one-way street, and trying to get in a truck very similar to his, parked a few spaces away. SWIM is not immune to such stoner moves at baseline, so he couldn't totally blame the salvia. It could also be the herb.

That was Monday. SWIM spent the rest of the week pondering his experience, sharing with select friends, and reading as much as possible on the 'net about salvia. Though SWIM was curious to go on another journey, he thought it would be better to save it for the weekend when he had nothing to do for a while. SWIM was still a little scared.

Friday night rolled around and it didn't take long after work before SWIM had gotten high, changed into comfortable clothes, lit some incense and packed the bong with sally.

Again, like the first time, the first hit was a little disappointing. SWIM felt the warm glow, but no trip. SWIM was painfully aware that he’d chosen to sit on the hard floor rather than the comfy couch. Without a sitter SWIM was taking no chances of spilling a lit bong. Music was playing, and SWIM did notice it, yet it neither added to nor subtracted from the experience. SWIM read many times that silence was best. Somehow, though, SWIM decided it would be a good idea to put on the "right" song for the next hit. SWIM loves music, especially classic, psychedelic rock.

It only took a minute before SWIM packed another, somewhat larger hit, settled into the couch, and let 'er rip. "Jane" by Jefferson Starship was playing. SWIM had never been a big Starship fan, and can't say Jane was ever anything other than a semi-cool song. Well, as SWIM began to peak, the lyrics spoke to him somehow. It was as if the song was written about someone who knew the Salvia Goddess, and wanted his girlfriend, Jane, to experience the same reality, yet she refused, so he had to end the relationship. SWIM knew at the time it didn't make any sense, and that was not at all what the song was written about, yet it was so real to SWIM at the time. SWIM knew no one would believe him, and would probably deem him totally nuts. SWIM perceived the world with a new clarity, one which only a handful of people must know. I felt I was part of the privileged, all-knowing few. The music took SWIM away. Between the soaring vocals and guitar solo, SWIM found himself coming out of the trip in a full-blown rock & roll frenzy, groovin' on the air drums & guitar, intensely euphoric, enjoying the music like never, ever before. The song, and SWIM’s trip, was over in just a few minutes. SWIM’s thoughts and feelings were indescribable at the time. SWIM looked at the dog and said something like, "Oh, fuck. That was soooo intense!" She seemed to understand. We were communicating on a whole new level. It wouldn't be until much later in the evening that SWIM would realize he’d met God.

So, that musical journey was really cool. SWIM wondered what it would be like to trip to a different song--a song which already spoke to him--one with which he already had a spiritual connection. SWIM grabbed the iPod and started browsing.

It was only seconds before SWIM selected the album Abraxas by Santana. It starts with 'A' after all. LOL. Though "Mother's Daughter" is not the first song on the album, that's what started to play. SWIM loves that song, so that would be the one.

SWIM made sure the dose was properly packed and situated, and then re-started the song. What followed was truly beyond words, and this time left SWIM questioning all which he’d come to know as "real." It was like putting on a pair of glasses which allowed him to see things for the first time. The lyrics told SWIM he was one of the few, again, who could truly see. Carlos knew, and he knew I knew, yet the others left standing in the corner, not moving for nearly 40 years, would never know. He felt bad for those unable to see, hoping, somehow, to help them find their way to the next dimension--the dimension we both shared for that 5 miutes. The song reached its peak just as SWIM’s trip did. The world, and the music, was spinning counter-clockwise around SWIM, like a scintillating vinyl album rotating around the stylus of his soul. SWIM was the music, and the music was SWIM. Again, the intensely euphoric sensation overcame SWIM, and he became enthralled with his rock & roll dream, drifting slowly back into reality, air-drumming and spinning that disc around his head faster & faster until he peaked, then slowly relaxed, to the music. As the disc spun, SWIM eventually realized that the dog was licking his fingers. It was like she was licking SWIM’s aura, helping the sonic disc to rotate a little faster. SWIM thought it was cool. He loves his dog, and was happy to have her there for the journey.

It was time to play the "phone a friend" card for a reality check. SWIM’s sitter from earlier in the week was home and glad SWIM called to check in. SWIM told him he’d had the breakthrough and needed to make sure he was still real. It was good to know SWIM hadn't lost his mind. SWIM joked for a minute, then told his friend he would see him in church...a place SWIM has never been, and still didn't plan to go, though SWIM did still believe, with yet more certainty, that his experience had taken him a bit closer to God.

It was still fairly early, about 9pm. SWIM had a couple intense trips and decided one more couldn't hurt, and this time it simply had to be Pink Floyd. The Wall has been SWIM’s favorite album since it came out in 8th grade. It's taken SWIM on many a mystical journey. Tonight would be no exception. After some thoughtful consideration and a lot of skipping through tracks, SWIM chose "Run Like Hell." The experience was not unlike the previous two with "Jane" and "Mother's Daughter." SWIM UNDERSTOOD the lyrics as never before, and again was being guided by the lyrics through his salvia trip. SWIM laughed silently yet intensely to himself as he slipped into the fractal dream. Reading the lyrics in a sober state might elicit some paranoia. For some reason, though, they were funny as hell. "You better run all day, and run all night. Keep your dirty feelings deep inside. If you're taking your girlfriend out tonight, you'd better park the car well out of sight. Because if they catch you in the backseat trying to pick her locks, they're gonna send you back to your mother in a cardboard box. You better run!" Or something like that. Anyway, the lyrics told SWIM that the uninitiated, blind to the cosmic reality, would think he was insane and want to lock me up. It had to kept secret. If SWIM kept it between friends, it would be something very special to share with people he loves--people who understand—who understand what it's like to be conscious of the divine nature of things. As the trip subsided, SWIM waited for the worms to come. They brought him all the way back. A bit sweaty and completely giddy, SWIM told the dog what just happened. She was happy for me, and we had a smoke, basking in the after glow.

SWIM continued to wax philosophical for another hour or so, wanting badly to share his experience with another friend, a devout Christian, who has constantly bugged SWIM about religion, trying his best to educate SWIM on the ways and beliefs of his culture...a subject which remains foreign to SWIM, after meeting God. He asked SWIM what SWIM believed in the past, if SWIM did not believe in God. SWIM could not answer then, but feels prepared now to express what he believes, based on his recent Salvia dream, and SWIM felt his friend must also know, only on a different framework with which to make sense of, and language to describe, his perception of God. Still, SWIM feared his friend would think SWIM had lost his mind. SWIM stared at the phone for 10 minutes and couldn't summon the courage to call his friend. SWIM may be disappointed if his friend doesn't understand. SWIM does not know if it is possible to see what he saw without the help of Salvia, yet does not want to encourage his friend to try. SWIM knows his friend shares the same apprehension as SWIM before taking that first hit, and it is possible to have a bad trip. SWIM is not convinced Salvia is healthy, without negative effects on a person's physical or mental health, especially if the person is not equipped to handle it, for whatever reason. SWIM will have a long talk with his friend soon. SWIM cannot help but think that his friend already knows.

Continued contemplation led SWIM to the conclusion that he’d tapped into the collective unconscious, or universal dream. The song "Limelight" by Rush was the subject of much pondering as SWIM lay in bed that night, drifting in and out of sleep. SWIM had a nap before his trip session, possibly explaining why he was wide-awake, contemplating such absurdity at 2a.m. SWIM was apparently keeping the dog up as well, and they continued their long, wordless discussion on the subtle nuances of reality, or lack thereof. SWIM decided eventually to get up, have a drink and a snack, watch a little TV and let the dog out to pee. Sandwich eaten, SWIM went outside for another cigarette. SWIM came back in, turned on the TV which was tuned to Satellite Radio. The song playing was...wait for it..."LIMELIGHT." Pardon my language, but there's just NO FUCKIN' WAY!!! SWIM is not convinced it was real, though he’s pretty damn sure. Overwhelmed by the revelations of the entire evening, SWIM returned to bed and slept like a baby until sunrise, then continued dozing in & out until 9.

SWIM has worked in the mental health field for 20 years and has a BA in Psych. his dabblings in the world of psychedelics have provided some insight into psychosis. Salvia was no exception. SWIM has a client who has written a “book,” quoting many song lyrics, attempting to explain his perception of the universal dream, only the writings come across as the ramblings of a stoned schizophrenic. He has vehemently insisted that SWIM understand and accept his reality, and has become very angry with SWIM when SWIM explained that SWIM doesn’t get it, but I accept that his beliefs are real and meaningful to him. Well, now, SWIM just might owe him an apology. Though again, SWIM feels like he will be admitting that he is insane if he admits he understands what his client has been trying to tell him. Oh, my. That is a conversation SWIM will most likely avoid.

This morning SWIM can definitely say there is some "hangover" to salvia. It's not bad, but SWIM doesn't trust himself to drive or operate heavy machinery. The urge to take another trip is still there, but SWIM will wait. The real question is, what song will SWIM play for the next ride?

Saturday night, with a bit of trepidation, and after more reading, SWIM decided to try another trip to Sally’s. SWIM read that his experience tripping to music was not unique, and there were other novel methods of experiencing different sensations while tripping, one being sex. It seems the most common, most recommended experience, however, was in silence with closed eyes. SWIM would try it both ways.

With courage up, I decided to experiment a bit. Loaded what I thought was a fairly large hit, fired up some porn, and let ‘er rip again. It was like my first hit all over again at first, not feeling much except a slight tingle and aura. SWIM was aroused, but unable to pleasure himself. The moaning sound irritated him. His eyes were open. Colors were a little more vivid. SWIM sat still and realized that he was tripping a little, but any movement or distraction would quickly bring him out of it. SWIM stood up slowly, turned off the movie and sat back down. The sensation reminded SWIM of the not-too-pleasant coming down experience from last night, without the euphoria or sense of awe from an incredible trip. Basically, it sucked.

About an hour later SWIM decided to try again. He learned that a jet-type butane lighter was preferred, as salvia vaporizes at a high temperature. SWIM didn’t have one, but knew he could get there with a normal Bic, so he loaded a big hit this time, holding the flame directly onto the leaves while inhaling, taking the full load into his lungs. Before he could exhale he felt himself leaving, then exhaled, almost as if blowing this world out with the smoke. .

SWIM found himself off again in the mystical world, only not quite as lucid this time as during previous trips. Swim wonders if the music didn’t help keep him grounded. SWIM felt that connection with friends as before, though they were not with him physically, he felt them in the other dimension. They were happy for me, having finally found my way to their realm. The familiar revolving sensation resumed at some point, only this time it accelerated to unbelievable speed. The world, the universe, whatever it was, was ripping in circles around SWIM’s head, only this time instead of a scintillating disc, it was a reel of film, or tape, being wound onto itself. SWIM was in between the reel and the loose film, watching it spool itself up, faster and faster, watching images of my life swirl up into the spool on either side of him, watching images of his life whiz by. SWIM knew he was seeing the truth unravel before him, and felt if he told anyone of his revelation it would sound crazy. SWIM understood why this world was shrouded in secrecy, much like the film Fight Club. Don’t talk about fight club. SWIM wondered if memory of this trip would be erased, and if perhaps this amnesia explained why his friends had not told him of this place before. The swirling continued, while SWIM and his friends separated into thin, horizontal slices, becoming stacks of discs themselves, oscillating to and fro. That was cool and all, but SWIM was about ready for the ride to stop. SWIM saw the light, and had enough. The spinning slowed, yet SWIM was still unsure if it would ever stop. SWIM wondered, when and if the winding stopped, where would he land? Would he be dropped off in the wrong spot in time or space? Would SWIM emerge as someone or something else, in another world? SWIM was stuck in time, wondering if this is what it was like to go insane. Soon enough the spinning slowed. SWIM opened his eyes and realized that he had leaned over to his right side and was being held down by centrifugal force. SWIM stretched out on his back, reminding himself he was home and experiencing a Salvia trip, and that it would pass soon enough. The duration of the trip caused SWIM some concern. Still intoxicated, SWIM lay on the couch, aware of his surroundings, reciting to himself an inventory of his living room. SWIM had not lost it, and was almost back “home.” SWIM got up and rolled a smoke. His muscles were uncoordinated, and walking was a little wobbly, yet he made it without injury. Though SWIM didn’t keep track of time, the experience lasted maybe 30 minutes, much longer than any of his previous trips. It was also the most enlightening. SWIM is overjoyed at the discovery a world, or state of being, known to few. Though SWIM did not see God as an entity, he did feel a faceless, shifting feminine presence, as if that all women, watching over me lovingly, telling me without words that it was OK to be in their world.

It’s now 1:00 PM the next day. SWIM slept well and completed an intense workout. He feels good physically, mentally and emotionally. SWIM now understands and has greater appreciation for many things. Have SWIM’s beliefs changed or become clearer? SWIM wonders if perhaps his perceived reality is different from what is the truth, and if maybe he has not created this reality for himself, while the truth is that we are part of a timeless, universal, binding energy, like gears in a machine, bricks in a wall, atoms in a greater being. While SWIM still has many questions, he feels closer to many answers. Furthermore, there’s no denying SWIM experienced a spiritual breakthrough.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Nice report, thanks for sharing

[helikophis]

Thank you for the report. In the future, please be aware that there are generally already threads for posting experiences for most substances.

Here is the thread for Salvia divinorum:

http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9418

[seamonkey]

Originally Posted by helikophis

Thank you for the report. In the future, please be aware that there are generally already threads for posting experiences for most substances.

SWIM chose to post this separately from the experiences thread since he was hoping to get some feedback on his experience. SWIM noticed a general lack of replies in the experiences thread.

My monkey informed SWIM that he thinks it would be cool to move the report to the experience thread. They apologize for any inconvenience.

[Fat Cop]

Swim has yet to experience a breakthrough, but there was one thing dissociatives has tought him that he still considers one of the most powerful spiritual revelations of his life. Though he doesnt fully comprehend its absolute magnitude yet.

Its actually pretty simple. There was one piece that had been missing for so long. That one piece is you. Everything is you. Swims not sure if many people actually realize what that implies.

Excellent experience report me.