An addiction experience...

[ExperiencedUser]

This may seem crazy but...

About seven years ago SWIM was a typical member of the drugs scene. Ingesting any and all that brought about a physical, spiritual, or mental change. Things were great (so they seemed) and one only hoped to grow and progress in the throws of the lifestyle to experience all it had to offer. Now, in wanting to experience all that the lifestyle had to offer, SWIM also wanted to experience the darker more painful side; just to see what they hype was about with tolerance and addiction.
Now SWIM did not conciously seek out and addiction, but subconciously welcomed it (if it happened, it happened). Time went on as did drug use. SWIM soon gravitated toward the benzodiazepine and opiate use, eventually ending up on the needle. Now don't get SWIM wrong; this was and is the greatest feeling on earth. SWIM would compare a combination of benzos and a good shot of dope to being in the loving embrace of God Himself.
SWIM, as you can imagine, soon ended up with a bad heroin/benzo addiction and finally got to experience what SWIM had always subconciously wanted. Needless to say it was a horrible experience that required seven days of medical supervision in a detox facility to "come back" from the grip of addiction and all the hell that accompanies it.
So here SWIM is today, clean and sober, and reflecting on the ride. If SWIM had to do it again SWHE would in a heartbeat.
Anybody out there have the same thought on addiction, or is SWHE a very unique and crazy individual?

[ex-junkie]

hmm. dunno why anyone would want to go down that path consciously or subconsciously. bit of a rocky road innit.

[Benniboi]

if you know you will never go back there then maybe it could be considered as welcome life experience, I will say that going through the rollercoaster that is compulsive addiction and obsessive behavioral traits through substance dependancy (i.e. heroin/crack cocaine) does make you see life from a completely different angle, and it can be argued that the maturity gleaned the ability to really understand what's important in life is priceless. Unfortunately the price generally paid for this insight is a lifetime of addiction and destructive behaviour. Even if you manage to beat it, it is generally always there on the horizion of your periphery. is it worth it? after everything SWIM'S been through i'd probably say pound for pound, no! but maybe SWIY's stronger than SWIM. That's just my 2 cents anyway! cheers

[chillinwill]

Just a word of note here. Its not just about the physical addiction. If one really became addicted to IV opiates, they are going to be struggling long after they detoxed physically with the psychological addiction as well. Many users claim this is the hardest part especially regarding opiate addiction. The easy part is getting clean but the hardest part is staying clean. Just a word of the wise to ya

[ExperiencedUser]

What you said Benni is exactly the case.
Coming from the hell and shit one had done to obtain the drug and the low places one has been, has opened SWIMS eyes to a beautiful way of life in sobriety. Yes the psychological addiction is still very strong but SWIM appreciates what SWIM has (as little as it may be) so much more than he could have ever before addiction. SWIM believes God works in mysterious ways and this was def one of them. Worth it (ISO). Thanks for the feedback.