Addiction - Good friend is back on Heroin, how to help?

[Cigoloren]

My good friends fiancee gave me the heads up that she thinks my buddy is back on heroin.

Well after seeing him and noticing everything, he is back on the big H.

He is not admitting use, no one has confronted him because we don't want him to flip out until we have a plan. He has a job a mortgage a soon to be wife so its kind of hard and tricky. We don't want to do anything until its well thought out, there is a lot is at risk so that's why i come here for advice and help.

He has been back on it for at least 2 weeks, maybe more. I know he is mainly snorting, but i am sure he is mainlining also when he only has a little.

He wont admit it, i mentioned something that he looked kind of out of it. But he just responded "its the perks foo" well thats BS because his girl told me he isnt taking pills like he used to.

So now i come online for help, i have dealt with my personal family on H but it was simple. Not much risk was evolved in tackling my cousin and taking him to a rehab in Mexico. This situation is different and very sticky.

If anyone can help me out, please do. Thanks in advance!, and if you guys have any questions let me know.

So what now?

[nick23]

If you KNOW he's using again all you can really do is make sure he knows that you and others care about him and do not condone his drug use.Maybe remind him of his responsibilities and give him any information about treatment options that are available.

The only person that can stop him using is him and if he's not ready to stop your best option is to make his drug use as stable and safe as possible.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	good avice. well put
	good advice
	All good advice both in emphasing that the op must really know before taking action and what to do
	Yes! make his drug stable and safe,clean out that street cut before taking his shot,wheelfilters etc
	Great advice

[mahoney]

SwiNick is dead right, and swiy has done the right thing not calling him out, that usually brings about a bad reaction. He is prolly stressed or has something going on, so if swiy is good friends with him maybe ask whats on his mind what he's so stressed about? If he doesn't want to talk to you maybe suggest a psychologist...jus so he has somewhere he can work out his feelings and why he feels the need to use when there is so much at stake. Of course if he won't face up thats his choice, but give him time and support, and let him know everyone around him cares...and maybe if your friends with hhis fiancee try an get her to do the same? I dunno...sorry for rambling, good luck!

[Cigoloren]

So then he pretty much has to decide to quite right?

There is nothing we can really do but support and help him out?

We just dont want the addiction to run him, like it did in the past. He has worked so heard to this point, it would be such a shame to see that all go away...

[harrygoldfarp]

yes

be suportive yes but don't take no shit.. I'd let him know you know he's lying and you don't apreciate it.
you could point out to him what he would lose if he did carry on down that road..
its so hard watching friends go down hill on that shite, but at the end of the day it's their decision.

hope i helped a bit..

good luck with it all..

[swellin]

Normally i would say its his choice, and if he is maintaing a job, family and mortgage that stfu and let him live his life. But if he is lying to you about it, and your 100% sure he is lying, then he does have a problem if he cant come out and say yea i take this, but so what my life his fine etc. then he himself is ashamed and thinks there is a problem also. So be supportive, get him to confess, and if hes hooked help him lower his dose until he is off of it. And btw percs, or any pills with morphine/oxy etc are just as bad ass heroin.

[trannyboy]

You kidnapped your cousin? because he was addicted to heroin? and you didn't go to jail? And your cousin still has anything to do with you?

All I can say is you are very lucky if that is the case. If I was in your cousin's shoes, I would never speak to you again and most likely press kidnapping charges. I can't recommend you try this with anyone else.

As for your friend, it might be time to sit down and have a conversation about it honestly and calmly. Explain to him what he is going to lose if this continues. Talk to him about the reasons he got clean in the first place. However he may decide to run if he knows your history of kidnapping addicts because you didn't like what they were doing to themselves and those around them. I know I would.

trannyboy

[Cigoloren]

Originally Posted by trannyboy

You kidnapped your cousin? because he was addicted to heroin? and you didn't go to jail? And your cousin still has anything to do with you?

All I can say is you are very lucky if that is the case. If I was in your cousin's shoes, I would never speak to you again and most likely press kidnapping charges. I can't recommend you try this with anyone else.

As for your friend, it might be time to sit down and have a conversation about it honestly and calmly. Explain to him what he is going to lose if this continues. Talk to him about the reasons he got clean in the first place. However he may decide to run if he knows your history of kidnapping addicts because you didn't like what they were doing to themselves and those around them. I know I would.

trannyboy

Yeah we have done that like 2 times with my cousin, and yes he still talked to me.

He knows he was screwing up and it takes measures like that just to create change with him. He is initially angry with us, but once hes out of the rehab everything is ok. Mend you heroin is HIGHLY illegal where i live so that just adds to it also.

My friend doesn't know this tactic that we do with my cousin, we wouldnt pull anything like this on my friend anyways since so much could be lost.

[Spucky]

People, who are outside of addiction, have to understand that this behavior is normal
for this Illness.
Just talk with him like Friends do,
maybe you can persuade him to give back all his Atm-Cards!

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Smart move, suggesting turning over ATM cards
	Good idea about the ATM cards

[Cigoloren]

Also he has no marks on him, but we know he is also shooting up. Where could he be shooting up??

Like somewhere covert, in between his fingers?

Thanks again guys for the help, i guess the only thing to do is wait?

[trannyboy]

You keep saying you "know" but how do you know? I have to say I am confused about that. Do you see needles laying around, track marks, someone watch him shoot up, has he told you, etc. Oh and you can be an injection user without people ever seeing a mark on you. I am looking at SWIM who is an SubQ injection user and I can't see the marks.

trannyboy

[Cigoloren]

Originally Posted by trannyboy

You keep saying you "know" but how do you know? I have to say I am confused about that. Do you see needles laying around, track marks, someone watch him shoot up, has he told you, etc. Oh and you can be an injection user without people ever seeing a mark on you. I am looking at SWIM who is an SubQ injection user and I can't see the marks.

trannyboy

We know he is, just by the way hes acting, the needle cap she found and his prior battle with heroin.

We are going to set something up and confront him in about a week or two, its just going to me his fiancee and his sister.

WE just need to do something...

[BastardoFatsquardo]

Confrontations can go really really bad, very quickly! Or they might help a little bit, its really hard to tell. SWIM said they would hate going thru that situation again. Someone elses suggestion about just lettingn him know u know, anddont appreciate that he is lying about it, and that you love him, and are there to help him, dont want to see him go down that route again. It is really hard to say what to do , as every situation, and person is different.

[mahoney]

The more swiy discusses his situation with his friends and family the less he will trust swiy. Its his decision to use and his decision to inject. If you back him into a corner and force him to confess he will most likely not tell you anything again. If his fiancee is close to him she should try to make him address the underlying problems which caused addiction(assuming there are), and help him deal with any stresses causing him to use. Once he does these things it will be easier for him to stop and stay stopped.

[SmokeNmirrors]

Swim would recommend getting a few close friends and his fiance and not exactly confronting him but say how you guys all feel and that swiy has suspicions and is concerned and just want to know whats going on and offer any kind of help that swiy can. Also remind him what he has and what he will end up losing staying on this road.

[thebige]

Hello and props for trying to help your friend out of a bad spot.........
Swim would recommend a couple of things
Reread all of the above posts and take the advice under serious consideration....
swim was thinking instead of confronting him in a room full of friends and his future wife....he might get very defensive...fast and then go off from there....
Maybe informing all of his Friends and family of the problem ahead of time and then you and his fiancée could sit down with him and telling him about your knowledge of his use......and then slowly have his friends and family slowly come forth with their knowledge of the problem over the rest of the week.........
They could call and tell him or stop by for a visit,even send him a I'M or a email.....whatever it takes..
But reassure him that all care,and would like him to stop...when he is ready...or ask for help if he wants it.......
Suboxone may help him/maybe not......for a relatively painless withdrawal period,maintenance with this drug should be reserched........

Swim believes turning your back on a heroin addict is the worst thing you could do.......
When what they really need is caring,friendship,support and help.
Swim just posted a thread called.........Street survival:Being Homeless...... asking for tips for someone that was contemplating Street Life as a heroin addict..........The guy sometimes reads this board so maybe reading how rough and dangerous living in the streets is might change his mind.

Swim thinks the slow approach is better,but again take the advice of all of the above posters.......its good advice................

please keep us updated
Even letting him read this thread might help........?.....thebige

[Cigoloren]

Yeah we have not done anything yet.

Its a hard thing right now, i found out who was dealing to him and told him to stop. Well his old dealer did stop, but i think he already found another.

We still haven't done anything yet, his g/f did tell him that she suspected it and KNOWS he is. He only shrugs it off and laughs and says "your tripping," kinda like making fun of her for thinking that.

Its a sticky situation, so thats why nothing has been done yet...

[Spucky]

Sometimes letter`s, not E-mails, can work wonder.

People are mostly alone for reading and in a relaxed Mode,
also mostly it`s Evening, so they have Time for reflection!