Telling your mom

[Creeping Death]

I've been pondering about telling my mom that i smoke weed.

I think things would be all around better if i didn't have to constantly hide my habit. Its the drug i take most of the time, and i've been caught twice already. Both times i explained it away and said that i would never do it again.

Im thinking about why i should at all hide something like that from her, after all we do live together in the same place.

And the answer is that i don't know how she would react. It would be bad, absolutely, but i have no idea what would happen. She's fine with me drinking, and she wouldn't mind me smoking tobacco. But on both occasions i was caught with hash, she completely freaked out.

How should i do it, and does anyone have any experience with breaking the news?Edited by: Creeping Death

[Iggypoop]

Haha, the way to get around this is to just get caught a few more times, eventually she'll accept it (well my mum did). Chances are if she freaked out about it, she's been misinformed by the media, government etc. Just tell her the real truth about weed; thats it less toxic than drinking, doesn't cause fights, chills you out, etc, etc. If she still won't listen then just go back to hiding it, theres not going to be much you can do.


Tell her to take a toke or two and she might like it! or at least realise it's not so much of a big deal.

[Completion]

To tell you the truth, as corny as it may sound your mom will probably
appriciate it more when you tell her the truth instead of sneaking
around. I told my parents that i smoked the reefer, they werent happy
but they handled it much better than i expected. Im pretty sure
everybody rather have the truth than a lie

[Djvr16]

My mother is a fairly outgoing person. We can talk about anything, without her getting angry. I just came out and told her on the way to work once. We had a discussion about it and she understands, but doesn't like me doing it. My girlfriend as well, I told her. She absolutely hates smoke, especially cigarettes, as do I. She was very uninformed of cannabis. I do research about all the drugs I do, which is many, before I try them. I share my knowledge with her and she understands as well, just doesn't like me doing it. After I told her about how GOOD marijuana is and told her about all the lies people say about it she felt much better. I tell my friend to tell his mom, he's been caught a few times with it. People will react different, but in the long run if you tell them sooner, they won't be mad at you later.

[Creeping Death]

I don't know if it's like that really. To her im a "little boy" and weed is BAD, mmkay, and it will ruin my life. You know what happens when you try to expose the truth to someone who doesn't really know anything about cannabis except for what the goverment lets out.

They dont belive you, they're to hysterical to give a fuck about what you have to say, or they think that you're stupid and dont really know yourself and are just trying to justify it by making it sound better.

And getting her into it is out of the question. She supports me, and i don't want her to become a stoner. After i move out, i don't give a fuck about what she does, but it's not something i would enjoy now. Having her stop caring about her job and making life shittier for me.

Help me out here, guys.

[Iggypoop]

Does being a stoner mean you don't give a fuck? I think not, i think it can make you care more. I think from the sounds of it you've answered your own question, keep going the way you do at the moment, it sounds like she'll never accept it. Or you can always wait untill you leave home and then tell her,there'll be nothing she can do about it.

[Creeping Death]

What exactly can she do about it even now? I doubt she'll turn me into the cops.

[Iggypoop]

Nah, i can't see her turning you in to 'the fuzz' but i can see her trying to make it more difficult for you to get a smoke in peace

[sands of time]

I don't understand... You say you want to tell your mom you smoke weed, but yet she caught you twice. It's obvious that she knows, so you won't really be breaking any new ground. I think at this point you have 3 options...

1) Keep trying to hide your use

2) Try to have open conversations with your mom about the real facts of cannabis

3) Move out and smoke when ya want, though you may find yourself lacking the funds for some good smoke.

I think what you are thinking about doing is #2. Do some good research and make sure to cite your information. Tell her that you use it at the end of the day after school. You may have to talk about this over a course of time, as she won't imediately budge from her original stand point. Good luck.

[club222]

A friend of mine was recently in the same predicament that you are in.
He lives with his Aunt and she hasn't actually caught him in the act,
but she isn't stupid either. She's come home and the house smells like
cologne, his eyes are all droopy and red, he'll sneak around the house
late at night and she will hear the door quietly open. Anyways, she's
questioned him but he still doesn't admit to it. He finally asked her
"What if I do smoke pot?" and then she didn't really have much to say.
They ended up sitting down and talking about it, she made it clear that
she doesn't approve of it, but she wasn't going to do anything like
call the cops. She just said that as long as he kept it away from her,
her house, and didn't get her involved at all then she has no problem
with what he does on his own time. He also used what somebody
previously said in this topic, he told her how less damaging it is to
his body than alcohol, and his aunt has been ok with him drinking for a
long time, even at her house. So yeah, he told me that she knew that he
wasn't going to stop, and it would make it much easier if he didn't
have to go sneaking around all the time. Also, try something like
promising your mom that it won't get in the way of your daily
activites, such as school, work, or whatever. And make sure you live up
to that promise! I think that's what most parents/gaurdians are afraid
of, that their kid is going to turn into a drugged up bum. Prove her
wrong. Hope the talk goes well!

[Chaote]

If I were you I would get soome hard afcts on paper, internet books etc so you can sit down and say"bla bla bla safer than many other things" I was caught 4 times
1st time I came home my dad had a bag and asked me if I smoked mj and I knew he knew so i said yep so he burned my pipe, kit etc,
2nd time my mom walked in on me when I was smokin, not fun at all like 45 mins of yelling and they said if we catch you aghin your out or something like that
3rd time I came home from a friends and my mom asked me what was in the bag in my drawer ( it eas sally) and I told her and gave her all this info on it and its legality, they werent reely upset
4th time my gf fereaked on E and we got caught by my dad he wasnt to mad i guess and we all told my mom it was too many caffeine pills and she wS kinda mad, not because of the drug but because of the circumstances.
I would say calmly discuss it with her with lots of supporting facts and say I kwow the harm it can do but I am responsible and educated or something along those lines

[Muirner]

I never came out and told my mom that i smoked weed. She has a very good sense of what's going on even when it seems she has none. She has caught me a fair number of times, with anything from a gravity bong, to a simple bowl. Both times i was in jail she found something in my room. The first time it was my 1ftglass bong Dirk, andthis most recent time she found my brandnew bubbler that i got from a friend, she found it in my cold air return vent.She has found very little weed only probably an eighth.


The kicker was when i was caught selling weed, i was living on my own at this point and she said she always wondered how i had $ to live on my own when i was working only 3-4 days that she knew of. Little did she know i would pay the drivers 20$ and a g to stay after i'd been there an hour. O well. She was upset and this got me a fair amount of yelling. She was there for me though.


I could go on with these but i wont, so i'll say that in no way would i ever approach my mom and say i smoked weed. She would smack me and call the insurance company and get me into a rehab place no questions asked. Hell i've passed 3 of them. She doent care about the facts, and she is set in her ways. so there is no changing that


Muirner

[billyloner]

my mum suspected i did drugs for a while, kept asking and i kept denying it. then one weekend id gone to visit my mate at uni, we were going clubbing and taking e, so id rolled a couple of spliffs to smoke when i got home (id get home sunday night and goto the pub). but my room was a mess so while i was away she tidied it - and happened to come across the spliffs. obviously because id been on e i couldnt talk to her soon as i got home, so went to the pub. and we had the discussion when i was drunk and stoned. which was a bit of a mistake.


she didnt take it too well, but probably about how i expected. she has accepted it a bit more since then i guess. now i can tell her im going 'for a walk' and she knows what i mean (i never even used to do that before she found out). and we keep having discussions about drugs.


saying all that, a few weeks ago she came home from her friends to find me with red eyes, and she had a right go, but the next day we had a proper conversation about it. i guess eventually she'll come to understand and accept it fully. but im glad i told her...

[Completion]

"I don't know if it's like that really. To her im a "little boy" and
weed is BAD, mmkay, and it will ruin my life. You know what happens
when you try to expose the truth to someone who doesn't really know
anything about cannabis except for what the goverment lets out."



My mom is the exact same way at first, she's from Hong kong where all
drugs are concidred hard drugs she's pretty clueless about the real
faqs about weed or anyother drug in that matter. but i forced her to
look at the facts.

I told her you're an idiot if you dont want to understand the truth and
that not to judge me or weed if she didn't understand. It got pretty
heated but my mom's not stupid and she finally agreed (thought
reluctantly) that weed isnt so bad and that she woulnt throw away any
of my sacs that she may happen to find (which is the reason i
confronted her in the first place) you have to force her to
realize, or dont tell her at all if she's going to freak out about it
and you can't control her.

In the end its all about how YOU take control of the situation.

[Creeping Death]

I went on and did it today. I waited for a good time, so i spent a lot of money on hash a week ago.

Well, today she asked "what did you do with all your money?". And i said "i bought some hash".

Then she was surprised. Then she freaked out. But it went a lot better than i thought. She calmed down after a few minutes, we talked about it, i explained to her the facts about it, that it doesn't make you stupid and its not addictive or anything.

She said she didn't want me to smoke because it would ruin my life. Wrong. So she agreed with it as long as i smoke only once in a while. And i'll let her think that i'm a small time smoker, okay. Thats enough freaking out for one day

I feel better about it now. I can smoke weed in the house without getting paranoid about leaving traces.

[whitespider]

I told my mother than i did E, she really dislikes the fact that i did
it. But i told her im not going to do it again..... thats not entirely
true.

[LeadCenobite]

my mom just walked in my room, saw my comp with this website on it and said "cannabis?" I was like yeah i do it everyday..she was quiet and walked out. End of story. Just happend right now too. lol guess i got it good.

[Funkameleon5]

I was caughy a couple of times by my mom and finally one time i just
had to tell her "yea mom, i somke pot... im sorry that you dont like
it, but thats not gonna make me stop... its my life and my choice...
ill quit when i am ready to" then i had the same conversation with my
dad who had been away at his new job the he started in another state
and had been told by my mom that she had caught me... now they both
know and they know my standpoint and i know theirs... we finally have a
house in the new town where my dads job is and we're one big happy
family again... (except for me cause i hate this town... no good drugs
here and there is nothing to do... so i just pretend and make the best
of it) <!--
var SymRealOnLoad;
var SymReal;

Sym()
{
window.open = SymWinOpen;
if(SymReal != null)
SymReal();
}

SymOnLoad()
{
if(SymRealOnLoad != null)
SymRealOnLoad();
window.open = SymRealWinOpen;
SymReal = window.;
window. = Sym;
}

SymRealOnLoad = window.onload;
window.onload = SymOnLoad;

//-->

[Solidly-here]

Congratulations, Creeping Death! The painful secret isn't so painful anymore ... nor so secret.


You took a deep breath, and said: 'Yeah. I smoke hash.' The world didn't explode. But, "she was surprised. Then she [briefly]freaked out. But it went a lot better than i thought [no gun-fire, no slashed wrists]. She [then pleasantly surprised me. Mom] calmed down after a few minutes, we talked about it..."


Wow! Now you can live happily ever after. Life is much more fun when I don't keep thinking about some dirty secret, and feel wrong for not telling about it. Most of the time, as I stutter-out something I am sure will damage my relationship with a friend, their response is just like I had chatted about a movie I had just watched ... nothing.


Your situation was not quite the same as my experiences (after all, Mom is about as close as one can be to his ownConscience, at least until he moves out into the Real World).


I am excited to know that the support you received from this Forum helped give you the courage to break the long silence (and the lies). This may also have the added benefit of building the Trust between you two. She knows (now) that you have come clean this time; she knows that this is probably about the BIGGEST secret (and 2-time Lie)you have kept to yourself.


The rest of life's secrets are less intense, and she may believe that you will be willing to share those (if it is important for your relationship). Most secrets are just better being kept to oneself (especially sexual ones). They only Matter when it interferes with other parts of the relationship (like feeling guilty about it, or angry).Edited by: Solidly-here

[Creeping Death]

Well, it's not all good in the hood now. She's more and more negative towards it, and always tries to convince me that it's a gateway drug and that it's the most dangerous drug of all. What the hell, man. Stupid fucking anti-drug programs spreading false information. Crazy morals that people have.

"Oh, it's okay for kids to go and drink themselves to death and kill a few people while driving home. But my son going calmly to the park to read a book on a warm, sunny day and smoke some herb is the most flat-out WRONG thing in the universe! OMG!"

It's such a bich to have a person who's completely ignorant and stupid in that area to try and tell you whats best. I came clean so that she would shut up and leave me alone, but now the effects are opposite. I take a variety of drugs, but i see now that it's best if i kept that to myself permanently. I can't trust people like that. They can't understand that your beliefs are different from theirs.

[Solidly-here]

Gateway? To what?


Does Mommy expect you to be shooting Heroin in a few weeks? The truth about pot is that most people stop at that. When a person is looking for a good drug, AND finds it, that's IT.


If you've been using it for at least a couple of years, you have found your good drug. Some other people have used pot, and it hasn't been that Kick; they move on; good for them; find what works, and stick with it.


The REAL Gateway drug is cigarettes. You smoke; you get addicted; you HAVE to do that already, so what else can you find to add to that?


How many Heroin addicts smoke pot? Not many. Anyway, firing up a THC blast is your home. Welcome home.


About Mommy ... she will probably wind down in a while. This same thing has happened to several friends over the years. It is a little more intense when the son is under 18 or so (and a little easier when he is over 30).


Take Jim, for instance: He was 20, had a part-time job, and did very little work around the house. After he told his Mom that he has been smoking for 4 years, shefelt betrayed (somehow). She bombarded him with all of the anti-drug propaganda for 2 months. Jimbegan by arguing with her. Soon he just listened quietly (on the outside, anyway).She finally realized that bitching isn't going to help. Things quieted down quickly. The rift was healed. My advice: Ride it out, gently.


It's hard to ride it out. After all, YOU know that this drug is helping you along with your life. She is yelling at you, telling you that it is hurting your life. You know the Truth; she believes a lie. You just have to believe that she is woefully mis-informed (compassion for her pain and ignorance). This belief will be a guide through this troubled time. There is strength in knowing that you are right.

[BigRed]

the simplelist thing to do, i think, is to tell them, hey! it´s a f*ckin plant, a plant!

[amd6568]

SWIM is waiting to tell his mom once he turns 16, which is in 2 months. SWIM also hates hiding his habbit. Especially cigarettes, but that's much easier!