Experiences - Abuse and addiction following "overwhelmingly glowing" experiences

[paperstreet]

It is hard to put into words exactly what SWIM means by "overwhelmingly glowing" experiences with a substance, but SWIM is noticing that he is engaging in similar patterns of abuse with certain drugs after certain "unique experiences" with the drug in question. To elaborate this point further, take these experiences into consideration.

After taking several months off from cannabis smoking, SWIM got high as kite (several years ago), and the memory of this powerful euphoria is ingrained so deeply into SWIM's being (to this day) that it trumps nearly every other memory SWIM has... of anything. During this experience, SWIM remembers thinking to himself that if he had to trade everything in life that he values to feel that good forever, he undoubtedly would. Not surprisingly he spent the next year and a half smoking marijuana at every possible moment, all day and all night, until he finally began to react very poorly even the smallest amount of marijuana use. (paranoia and anxiety to be specific) Before this experience, SWIM's marijuana use was not overly excessive and was not a significant part of his life.

Now this past summer, SWIM had a similar "overwhelmingly glowing" experience with amphetamines. (high dose of adderall to be specific) SWIM again remembers every single little detail about the moment when he had this "oh... my... god...." type of euphoria. He remembers the song he was listening to, the place in his room that he was standing, every happy thought crossing his mind etc... Before this moment, SWIM had used amphetamines many times before, even at doses comparable (but not quite as high) as the amount used that night, and he certainly had many amazing experiences. However, none were like this moment. After this experience, SWIM has not gone absurdly crazy with amphetamines and stimulants, but his usage has exponentially increased to this day.

A person with PTSD will have an extremely vivid memory of the traumatic event that underlies their symptoms, and these memories for SWIM are comparable to this (except these are almost the exact opposite of "traumatic" memories). SWIM is noticing similar patterns of use regarding these drugs following his "overwhelmingly glowing" experiences and he wants to know if other pets can relate to this.

The most alarming characteristic of these experiences is that is seems almost like a switch got turned on in his brain. Their was no gray area with regards to these moments. The memories of these moments are vivid like no other memory SWIM can think of. In addition, each experience resulted in similar behavioral patterns which suggest to SWIM that these "overwhelmingly glowing" moments can create subsequent "addictive behaviors".

What SWIM wants to know is if any other pets have had similar "overwhelmingly glowing" experiences that resulted in increased use of the substance(s) involved.