Dolo-feind

[VSOP~on~tap]

hmmmm im kinda worried about something. my Alligator just got clean from 10 years of opiate use/abuse (doc prescribed topped with whatever else he could get OF COURSE!!) and gator actualy DOES have chronic pain from scoliosis, fybromylagia, and Numerous car/surfing/snowboarding accidents........
and well see..... have been clean for near a month now. not quite. and hes BEEN clean for 2 months several times. And it was PURE hell the whole time because hed wd the WHOLE time, for MONTHS striaght.... plus pain was overwhelming.
ok so now....HE REALLY is done. He wants NOTHING TO DO with it ever again if he can help it. im not kidding hes DONE. cant do it anymore cant get this sick EVER again. so I actualy KNOW he can do it. hes not worried about it really because for the first time ever HE KNOWS IM that he IS ACTUALY QUITTING and because HE ACTUALY wanted it FINALY!!!!! (CELEBRATION!!! WOO!!!) haha.
at least not for a while this gator will not touch anything.
thats the problem. is that there is this certain drug (well combo of drugs to me more specific, each as important as the next and Each Nessesary for him to feel stable and pain free) that HES SERIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH. its the best you could possibly feel without tripping on a good psych like shrooms/lucy/mesc/or even some good E every 1-2 years. id eat the rest of them way more often but he will never take e more than once in a year because he refuses to become E-tarded.
and that is DOLOPHINE (the best opiate that EVER existed)
ok so DOLOPHINE is one of the key ingredients. HE love DEATHADONE with a fucking passion, which is sad I guess....its just that when hes on it hes SO PRODUCTIVE and HAPPY and STABLE. even on its own its amazing...but you REALLY do need the following as well;
KLONOPIN(RIVOTRIL) I have lived on this benzo for the past 8 years, (legaly, Medicaly NEVER ABUSED) I love it dearly, and at this time have NO desire to discontinue use. I actualy do i need it else Ill have seizures/panic attacks etc. anyways EVEN afer 10 years of benzodiazepine use, I STILL feel the warm comfort that my 2 mg pill, 3 times a day brings me. the second it hits my toung i kinda melt a lil I love benzos. i never abuse them and have not upped my dose in at least 6 years. Ok the Klonopin and the dolophine need eachother. but they also need a friend; (well a couple more
DEXTROMETHORPHAN: probably the most amazing chemical on earth. I mean this stuff REALLY BRINGS you home, invites life changing experiences, and is VERY christian-esque feeling for some odd reason. I think thats because dxm UNLIKE other drugs does NOT creat an appetite for itself (usualy). for a normal person, a DXM trip can COMPLETELY interrupt an addiction of ANY sort. it gives you the feeling of dying and being reborn, without the ego. it also completely rids the wds even from HIGH doses of say heroin or dolophine. On DXM I KNOW I can do anything in the universe. nothign can stop me. of course I KNOW NOW that I dont need dxm for this purpous at all. Im simply talking about how it has helped me in the past. On dxm you have no fear......and you are dissconnected from your body/mind/ego. complete and utter ego death like a K hole or Phencyclidine hole or IBOGAIN which they use in other countries to SUCCESFULY cure addiction.
I HAVE to attribute at least a LITTLE help from the dxm in my current CONQUERING of my opiate use. It really was one of the tools that helped me. ACTUALY I ATTRIBUTE ALOT TO IT, its just that I can not attribute MORE to it, THAN TO MYSLEF, because it was WITHIN MYSELF THAT I FOUND THE STRENGTH TO KICK THE OPIUM.
Next though, this combination is still not complete, it needs several more things.
Cannabis: OBVIOUSLY!!!!!!!!! KanahBosm...it is the origional and real sacrement of christ. Everyone has EVERY constitutional and GOD given right to utilize it, so long as they hurt no one else, and they beleive it is what god wants or that it brings you closer to god.....NO ONE CAN STOP YOU 10 prisoners, in HA, and CA WERE allowed to use CANNBIS in JAIL because they sincerely believed in Cannabis as sacrement, and we DO HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION.
it is the healing plant.....and I belive that it is the leaves the bible speaks of when it says "in the last days when evil is abundent on Earth Christ WILL stomp out Evil and the LEAVES OF THE TREE WILL GO FORTH AND HEAL ALL NATIONS"(to summarize...and thats in revelation by the way) now I just CANT help but wonder if that means the legalization of cannabis. it is the ONLY thing I can think of in existence that DOES have the power to heal all nations so that the ritcheous may inherit the earth. for one it has the power to reverse the greenhouse effect, it also would save our rainforests and other forests, it coudl COMPLETELY wipe out ALL need for petrolium, not to mention the fact that Hemp seed LITERALY is the most nutricious thing you could possibly eat it we could FEED THE WORLD and cure the starving......NOT TO MENTION economicaly cannabis is the worlds NUMBER ONE CASH crop; LITERALY, (because of the drug war...) but yeah economicaly that could COMPLETELY pull us out of this hole our country is in, not to mention RUN THE FUCKING violent cartels straight out of business...anyways as you can tell this plant is DEAR to me, it ALWAYS makes me feel at home, it warms me up and makes me feel right comfortable in my skin....it opens my mind and energy channels and allows me to have spiritual experiences because I am experiencing the plant and the plant is experiencing me, and I DO believe that the HIGH, IS the NEW AWARENESS of god, and thats why it feels so good. because your ego is destroyed.
ok sorry but my alligators combination is still not completed without;
TOBACCO. I have as much respect for this plant as I do for cannabis. Its just different....but I do belive the smoke carries our prayers and deepest intentions.....and it SOOTHES and just COMPLETELY brings yo uto a new level of consciousness. when this is combined with the above drugs (DXM in particular) THINGS GET INTENSE! and BEAUTIFUL!!!! theres nothing I can think of that is nicer or more pleasent than having a Nice fat dip with a best friend, or smoking an organic tobacco leave...its purifying. even if you puke....its a good thing you are purging toxins and evils from yourself. I also love snuff and cigars ALL tobacco is good, so long as it is organic, and additive free (which means either HOME GROWN(the BEST choice) or AMerican Spirit, or a proper cigar. when it is commercial shit, it is degraded OTHER PEOPLE are INTENTIONALY poisoning you with over 600 poisonous chemicals, not to mention they grew it with radioactive fertalizers. this takes away from the sacredness of the plant obviously as it is an ENORMOUS disrespect. tobacco should be grown by yourself for best results. and variteis like rustica...if you REALLY want to get to know that shit!! hahah. but no tobaccum works just as well...its jsut not AS intense. Even a bowl of hookah is AMAZING good stuff even though theres almost zero nicotine in it. it is the whole plant you want, the spirit of it.
ok were PRETTY MUCH there. that is alll that is needed for the recipe, HOWEVER I PERSONALY am still not quite complete with it until I add in;
the RESTORIL(TEMAZEPAM) I love this benzodiazepines. It allows me to totaly chill and guarentees beautiful sleep will come. i would never take it in the day or abuse it. its too amazing for that. plus my doc prescibes it for the past 6 years.

I KNOW that these things helped me to get through my wd. ALSO CLONIDINE IS KEY HEAR PEOPL!!!!! AND IMMODIUM!!!!!!! but thats besides the point. becasue NUTRITION and EXCERZISE are WAY more important than ANY chemical you could take. you can cold turkey off 100 mg MDONE and feel JUST FINE if you nurish yourself right, excersie , have a positive outlook, and take clonidine and some benzos....and various vitamins, and APPLECIDER VINEGAR I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH It has ELIMINATED my need for antacids, plus its SUPER detoxifying....VERY good for your liver. just take a tablespoon onece or twice a day or whenever you need it. it actualy tastes delicious too and it HAS TO BE APPLE CIDER no other kind. you need the "nother" that floats in it.


ok so thats the whole things is that IF DETHADONE COMES MY WAY I CAN NOT HELP MYSELF BUT TO EAT IT, and To EAT IT ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! im a fucking DOLO-FEIND! I KNOW IM an ADDICT and ALWAYS will be. I just OD NOT WANT TO BE A SLAVE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!
however, no other opiate is so amazing. I can pop it once in the morning and be pain free till the next morning and be completely free of wds at all times. it works better than ANY other drug for chronic pain, in my opinion. i also believe its just as safe as anything else if used wisely with your docs help.
anyways so thats my problem. I FINALY GET MYSELF OFF OPIATES, and then I realize that methadone is the best drug Ive ever taken and that while on it I feel cured.
however. it would either take paying a done clinic ten dollars every day for teh rest of my life, (LIQUID HANDCUFFS I COULD NEVER LEAVE TOWN TO GO ON VACATION OR ANYTHING!!! FUCKK THAT!) or getting a doc to rx for pain instead of my hydro and morphineI was taking (NOT LIKELY! however he might do it, he gives me ANYTHIGN i ask for cause he knows I know what I need and I DONT abuse him. Plus i know plenty of people with dolophine, so its kinda scary.
plus, I KNOW that SOMEDAY, for some reason, id have to wd agin and I will be sicker than I have ever been in my life. IF I GET ON THE MDONE TRAIN.
I know this. and im LOVING my sobriety and I want to keep it so bad. yet for some reason, dolophine haunts me, and it keeps popping up my friends keep getting it and i jsut met a lady who has it.
if my doc would rx it I would take it. Im not afraid of wd anymore. I KNOW it wont kill me. and it would be the answer from god for my chronic pain.

so im 2 sided. IM ENJOYING THE FUCK out of being sober, having energy, FEELINGS emotions, liek JOY and HAPINESS, and im bouncing off teh fucking walls like im totaly manic!!!!

on the other hand if I could get methadone I would take it. fucked up huh?
i dont wish to EVER take anotehr painkiller again in my life, unless its a dose of dolo...................MAYBE JUST MAYBE I could do it like once or twice a year. i dont know. or maybe I will move on. but for right now, I could care less about fucking hydros or perks or oxys FUCK THAT SHIT i could turn them down with no problem. but I can see methadone as being a serious threat to my sobriety. yet I can ALSO see it helolping me. yet I can also see it hindering me, and enslaving me. I KNOW inside I DONT NEED ANY chemicals, to feel good, or anything. My brain naturaly produces what it needs. I DONT FUCKING NEED METHADONE but I KNOW that if I do relapse....it will be done. and the wds will be so wicked.

Has ANYONE around here succesfuly quit opiates.....moved on............and then ENJOYED (haha you DO NOT enjoy it when your addicted TRUST ME) VVVVVVVERY OCCASIONAL night out on the town with an opiate? like I do E, and ICE jsut once every 1-2 years? or is this just a trap my addict mind is setting up for me. i think im strong enough.but thats just the trap. fuckin im ranting im just in a mindfuck right now a month into wds......feling manic and wonderful about life.........but still methadone is sitting there in the corner of my mind always saying "if you take me back I will love you and give you the wamest hug you EVER had"

I know that trading addictions gets you NOWHERE I want to be NON DPENDENT on EVERYTHIN!!! i dont want to HAVE to take something to get out of bed. but I know that someday,just for pain and for fun Ill want to take jsut ONE dose (like a wafer or 2 would probably hit the spot)......I hope that if this happens I am strong enough to only use it once. im sorry for rambling.....its just that this forum IS MY only support......so I needed to vent about how I am feelings lately. and I AM also wondering if there are ANY succesful VERY occasional chippers who USED to be hardcore addicts? it CANT be impossible I know theres a way. but I refuse to fall into the traps my addiction creates for me anymore. Im taking my life back into MY HANDS

If you go this far, thank you for reading your a saint cause I KNOW this is a book hahah

peace

[rokman nash]

Sorry my friend, chipping leads back to full blown use.My friend used to dream about using is doc occasionally,but then reality kicks in and Dave realizes its just a dream.He knows of not one person who was addicted to junk of any sort that could chip successfully,w/o it leading back to the hell your currently,or just have gone through.

Is there anyone out there that has a friend of a friend who was able to do this after being firmly addicted to their opiate of choice?Just curious..

Good thoughts

[yaba]

Originally Posted by rokman nash

Sorry my friend, chipping leads back to full blown use.My friend used to dream about using is doc occasionally,but then reality kicks in and Dave realizes its just a dream.He knows of not one person who was addicted to junk of any sort that could chip successfully,w/o it leading back to the hell your currently,or just have gone through.

Is there anyone out there that has a friend of a friend who was able to do this after being firmly addicted to their opiate of choice?Just curious..

Good thoughts

Think its nearly impossible.. Swim has been a heroine addict and knows that if he was starting again it will all go wrong again. But then again he tried IV heroine for the first time not that long ago and he wouldn't go back to using heroine again, before he only smoked it. And he takes some methadone and some dihydrocodeine sometimes, and very occasional poppy pods.

He stays away from heroine ! lucky enough its expensife where he is living, hard to get and dangerous (he will loose his job if he gets cought)

Think that are all good reasons not to start again

[duhduhduhda]

my mother was a full blown heroin addict for 20+ years and succesfully quit and while i dont want to use the word "cured" she's living the sober life and taking care of herself and my 7 yr old brother fantastically something she never could have done back when i was his age
and to top it all off she actually has the ability to chip every once in awhile like once every4 months MAYBE and i know this to be true because we live together and i watch her like a hawk i know all her tricks because i've been there myself and she wouldn't hide it from me anyway
she's an amazing woman and i have the utmost respect for her for turning her life around and providing for my lil' bro like she couldn't do with me an my sister

the only person i know who can chip and not sink back into full blown use
i highly advise you not to chip because it almost certainly will lead back to active addiction but i just wanted to add a success story to this thread as i'm sure there wont be many

GOOD LUCK MAN stay strong but don't deny yourself the meds you have a legit need for
as for me i'm on MMT and going strong in case anyone was wondering

[rokman nash]

I certainly respect your mothers commitment to swims little bro.But the fact of the matter is that chipping,even monthly,bimonthly,or whenever her responsibility to your brother ends things will change.I'm not hoping,or even saying that there is a thought in swims moms head at this point.But brain chemistry is what it is.My friend knows individuals who take ONE 5mg hydro daily. If for some reason a dose is missed what happens?Their brain tells them something's missing and to fix it pronto.

My friend truly hopes that swims mom can chip successfully,But in Dave's 43 years of existence he has NEVER seen an individual(himself included) maintain this long term.If swims mom is the first Dave will be first in line to congratulate her on that accomplishment.

Very few speak of it but your brain is quietly telling you that its okay to use every 4 months,then every 2 months, then whenever you can get away with it.Maybe moms different,but thats how it worked for Dave,and every aquaintance he has had.

Good thoughts

[duhduhduhda]

Originally Posted by rokman nash

I certainly respect your mothers commitment to swims little bro.But the fact of the matter is that chipping,even monthly,bimonthly,or whenever her responsibility to your brother ends things will change.I'm not hoping,or even saying that there is a thought in swims moms head at this point.But brain chemistry is what it is.My friend knows individuals who take ONE 5mg hydro daily. If for some reason a dose is missed what happens?Their brain tells them something's missing and to fix it pronto.

My friend truly hopes that swims mom can chip successfully,But in Dave's 43 years of existence he has NEVER seen an individual(himself included) maintain this long term.If swims mom is the first Dave will be first in line to congratulate her on that accomplishment.

Very few speak of it but your brain is quietly telling you that its okay to use every 4 months,then every 2 months, then whenever you can get away with it.Maybe moms different,but thats how it worked for Dave,and every aquaintance he has had.

Good thoughts

i understand your point completely and i too am very oppossed to the idea but she seems to be able to handle it and you better believe that if she starts to get out of control i'll handle it

i know i can't do it and none of my friends can either but she seems to have the ability and for that i will be forever envious but she also has my utmost respect

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[VSOP~on~tap]

THANK you ALLLL soo very much for your kind replies!! honestly it means the world to me.
ok so heres where hes at. he really has no urge to chip........its just the he KNOWS the thoughts will keep coming back..........
but the odd thing is he CAN CHIP Methamphetamine and MDMA and Cola..........he only takes these one night every couple or more years. even alchol its just the rare night out, ONE beer...
but he also realized that stims are NOT addicting like opies are....and also he was NEVER addicted to stims. its just the rare occasional fun. so he is guessing that you guys are right that addicts TRULY cant EVER chip again unless they wanna get on done for life.
but why chip in anyways? unlesss its for legitamite pain relief. because he now doesnt want to be a chipper at all with this shit he knows it will suck him right the fuck back in it does EVERY TIME!!!! he always Swears to himself he can takes his meds as prescribe,.....jsut watch him do it. so what does he do? he gets 120 painpills and eats them in 4 days. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

and again, he still does think dolophine is the warmest comfiest drug EVER.. he is definatly a dolo-feind