It really pisses me off

[youdontknow]

Ok so im gonna lay this story out there for you all.

Swim has been using opiates for about 3 years now. Recently it got pretty bad (swim was doing upwards of 75 bucks a days worth of whatever he could get)

So swim decided thats not what he wanted in his life and that his loved ones deserved better than that. So swim started a methadone treatment program. He has since been sober from street drugs. (about 2 and a half months sober)


Now any of us who have tried to get clean before have heard that you have to change who you hang out with. So i stopped hanging out with all the people who i was doing drugs with. Which really sucks cause that left with with just one friend. This friend however i have been friends with for about 7 or 8 years.

Then that fucking moron starts hanging out with one of the people that i stopped hanging out with, and starts using heroin! Now this guy is like my brother you know so i talked to him about it nd told him hw its not a fucking joke being addicted to opiates and that if he starts using alot that im going to have to stop hanging out with him. That was about a month ago and since then he hasnt really been hanging out with me alot and doesnt really seem to take the heroin seriously. He has since started stealing from wal mart to support his habbit and the other day i found out that he had shot up.

It really pisses me off because hes seen what the opiates can do to a person because he was friends with me. Its like it s a big joke to him. And i told him that im gonna have to stop hanging out with him and he doesnt seem to care about that either.

I dunno hopefully hell come around, but i was doin the shit for 3 years and i never even shot up and in a month he already has, i predict bad things are going to come from this.

[motherlove1973]

That is really sad and I hope your friend does take your advice and stop using. I know how you feel when you have to leave all your "friends" alone,I have had to do it also. Maybe you could try to meet some new people at some meetings or something like that. I have not tried it but probably need to myself. Good luck bro.

[ColdInCanada]

Most people just have to learn the hard way. I'm guessing not many people in here had no idea they could get themselves into trouble by trying their drug of choice. It's frustrating as hell when someone you care about starts using despite all your warnings and advice (like my youngest daughter ), but we all choose our own way. All you can do is hope they'll learn sooner rather than later.

Good luck.

[Spucky]

Swiny is just 10 Weeks in the MMT.
so she have to learn something we call in German "Sozial Hygiene"
i guess it will be easy to translate!

Take Care your self, this is Swiny`s most important Thing to do!

[pinksox]

I think the best thing SWIY can do is to actively try to find a new circle of non-using friends. People from NA meeting are okay, but he need to realize that some of those people will invariably slip back into their old habits...and it can sometimes be tempting to "fall" with them. I think the best way to find new "clean" associates is by meeting people in environments completely out of that circle. Take a class at the community college, find friends through Church(if that's something you do), look into programs offered through libraries or recreation departments or things of that nature.

The situation with SWIY's friend sucks. But the best thing for both SWIY AND his friend would be for SWIY to give him a little tough love and not enable him by associating with him in any fashion while he continues to use.

If SWIY's friend is to the point he needs to steal to support his habit, he's too far into the game to just stop because SWIY asks him to. SWIY should know from past experience that when a person gets to the point where SWIY's friend is at, that nothing much really matters besides that next fix.

SWIM has seen a lot of lives, and even entire families, destroyed by heroin so I commend SWIY's courage and determination in turning their life around and wish them the best.

[youdontknow]

i know. thats what i told him about getting to the point of stealing to support his habbit.

Thats when the viscious circle starts in (stealing to get high, feeling like shit for stealing, gotta get high to not feel like shit, gotta steal to get high, feel like shit for stealing, etc...)

And its just that it took swim so long to get to the point of stealing to get high (over 2 years) and it took him less than a month.

It seems like hes going down so much quicker than swim. Quicker than anyone swims ever known too.

IDK hopefully hell go down so wuick and hit rock bottom really quick so then hell realize he needs to stop sooner.

[rokman nash]

UDK,its time to move on,your friend is in a place thats very hard to reach out to. Best bet is to let it run its course,and hope for the best.No one could tell my friend anything when he was in the throes.

Good thoughts

[chillinwill]

Like everyone else has said, its time to let that friendship go with that person as well as the worrying about him. At this point, if they are stealing to support their habit, they are way to far gone over the edge to hear some words from you and stop just like that. SWIY should know that and especially now that they have IV'ed heroin, this takes the addiction to a whole new ballgame. SWIY needs to worry about themselves and make sure they don't end up using over this situation and take care of themselves first.

The whole concept of hanging out with old friends is a tough thing to do and Red Rock still only has 3 or 4 friends he feels like he can trust and talk to and whatnot. He had to lose all of those other friends that he used to party with and get high with which sucks fucking major shit. It sucks even more when its hard enough to make friends as is but SWIY is in college right now and has made a few friends in there. He doesn't know if thats an option for SWIY but other ideas are to take up rec league activities such as softball, tennis, walking, excercise classes, swimming or even book clubs or things like that. Try looking into what your area offers in terms of extracurricular activities and if SWIY gets involved in one of them, they will most definitely make some new friends.

[Esmerelda]

I would agree with Chillinwill. But also add that perhaps Swiy could let his friend know that if/when he decides enough is enough, Swiy will be there for him.

[rocco_blitz]

Originally Posted by youdontknow

i know. thats what i told him about getting to the point of stealing to support his habbit.

Thats when the viscious circle starts in (stealing to get high, feeling like shit for stealing, gotta get high to not feel like shit, gotta steal to get high, feel like shit for stealing, etc...)

And its just that it took swim so long to get to the point of stealing to get high (over 2 years) and it took him less than a month.

It seems like hes going down so much quicker than swim. Quicker than anyone swims ever known too.

IDK hopefully hell go down so wuick and hit rock bottom really quick so then hell realize he needs to stop sooner.

Well swim agrees with almost every post about swiy newly found habits and so-called friends.Now swim can say that the truth has been spoken and doesnt mean to sound like a old record player skipping but yeas swiy has to find a new group of friends or swim needs not to say what the dangers of swiy's decision will have on changing.First swim wants swiy to no he had to do this verry thing when swim intaked into a mmt program,which for swim has worked for 2 years with almost no friends because swim has a magnet on his head to invite such people.Swim is not saying bad things about ppl in that manner as swims real friends are users and will always be but swim respects that.I guess swim is trying to say keep ur head up and chest out and move on as hard as it is................................................ ................................................
" IT'S A WAR ON THE PEOPLE NOT THE DRUGS'

[youdontknow]

I get that i have to stop haning out with old friends that are users, thats why it pisses me off so much. Because i did that, and this dude was my one friend i still had. He didnt use before hand. And now that ive stopped and told him that i have to stop hanging out with people that use, hes started using...i just dont get it.

But yeah im pretty much done with him in general. When he decides its a problem of course ill be supporting him but im not gonna let his getting high get in the way of my sobriety.

[pinksox]

When he decides its a problem of course ill be supporting him but im not gonna let his getting high get in the way of my sobriety.

That's a great attitude!

Letting SWIY's friend know that SWIY cares from them and will be there to offer support in the event SWIY's friend decides eventually to also make "the change," sends them the message of "I love you Bro, but for the good of the well-being of both parties, SWIY cannot be around SWIY's friend while they continue to make poor choices...choices which could pull SWIY back into that lifestyle and disrupt whatever stability they've recently built for themselves as well.

SWIM really does think it would be great for SWIY to look into some alternative means of finding new associates who are not in that lifestyle. Not only does SWIY meet new, reliable friends from those activities, but the busier SWIY can keep their body and mind, the less time SWIY will have to think about what they're "missing" from their old lifestyle. Right now, SWIY's well-being and recovery needs to take precedence over worrying too much about those of others...even though its hard to let someone go that is truly cared about.

There may come a time when SWIY can offer support and guidance to SWIMMers wanting to make the change and not themselves feel tempted to "fall" with them in the event they relapse, but that time is many years down the road...if it ever comes at all. SWIM knows, that after 12 years, SWIM is finally in a place that SWIM feels they can offer that sort of direct support without feeling "tempted," but its taken years and years for SWIM to get to that point...and I'm not sure some ever get to that point where they know NOTHING could make them revert.

SWIY's main concern atm needs to be SWIY's own well-being, stability and recovery. Unfortunately, that means a rhetorical "we" need to put "our" own well-being ahead of, even of though it pains us, SWIY's and SWIMS to not be able to actively supportive friends. When SWIY
s are at that point in their recoveries, letting our SWIM's know we're always there for them in the event they start turning their own lives around is the most us SWIY's and SWIMs can do for them without jeopardizing their own recoveries.

SWIM would still strongly encourage SWIY to make a list of things they used to enjoy and find pleasure from before their addictions began and to find resources within their community that can allow them to form a circle of stable, non-using friends.

SWIM thinks SWIY has a pretty decent attitude and know what they need to do to best support their now-using friend...and from what SWIM has seen written, SWIM believes that SWIY has the strength to follow through. SWIY IS actually supporting their "friend" by not condoning or enabling their buddies addictions..."love the person, hate the behavior"--that message that's essential for SWIY to relate.

Again, SWIM believes SWIY already know this...although I know it pains SWIY to need to be this way...I think that's normal. If SWIY doesn't recover then SWIY won't be in the positon to help their friend when they finally hit bottom and decide that, they too, need to make that change--for SWIY's sake, SWIM hopes that revelation comes to SWIY's pal sooner rather than later.

SWIY also needs to realize that SWIY isn't to blame for their "friends" recent issues.

[MarkyMayhem]

Yeah, but don't SAY it unless you MEAN it man..
That shit said insincerely could drive someone over the edge....

[Esmerelda]

Originally Posted by MarkyMayhem

Yeah, but don't SAY it unless you MEAN it man..
That shit said insincerely could drive someone over the edge....

Very true.