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SWIM is struggling on 30mg of Methadone
SWIM has been on 30mg of methadone for about a month in order to kick his pod habit.
The trouble is, being on such a low dose does not ease his mental withdrawls one bit! It keeps him from experiencing any significant physical withdrawls, but because it's doing nothing for his mental craving for opiates, he still feels very unstable, and unable to function at the level he was at on (very) high doses of poppy pods. He thought that the whole point of methadone was to enable addicts to be able to sort their lives out. Being on the pathetic dose that he has been given, seems to be having the reverse effect. All his anxieties have returned to haunt him and he has lost all the confidence he had built up while taking pods everyday.
He knows it was not a natural confidence, but it was better than nothing.
He has complained repeatedly to his drug worker, that he needs more meth to feel normal, but to no avail. He feels that he is being treated like a child, a) because he was taking pods rather than smack and b) because he has mental health problems. They do not want him to be on a high dose in case he develops a liking for methadone, and they have the misconception that it is a much more dangerous drug than poppy straw. Being put on methadone has actually brought home to SWIM, just how potent poppy straw really is, especially in high doses. From what he has experienced from both drugs, he would be surprised if the withdrawl would really differ particularly. Both would have prolonged rather than acute withdrawl, and with poppy straw there is more euphoria, so maybe more mental difficulties when withdrawing.
Many SWIY's will probably disagree with some of SWIM's opinions, but it's just how he feels at the moment. He has been left to suffer on an inadequate dose for a month, and knows that the longer he stays on it the less likely they are to increase it to a reasonable level, therefore increasing SWIM's chances of relapsing onto poppy straw, which is what he feels like doing ATM.
Maybe SWIM has the wrong attitude, but if he had felt mentally ready to quit opiates entirely, he would have tapered off the poppy straw by himself. Do any SWIY's agree with SWIM, that a higher dose would be more likely to prevent him from relapsing?
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