Where'd the mental high go?

[GenericBreed]

SWIM isn't a particularly experienced drug user, but SWIM is interested in certain drugs and has tried several, and done a little research into several others she may want to try one day.

SWIM's first drug was DXM, not a good first choice, but for SWIM, not a bad experience... for the most part. Er, SWIM went a little overboard in her first experience with drug usage and wonders sometimes if she may have been born with an addictive personality, but I digress. So anyways, SWIM started robotripping one weekend in October 2007, and then did it the next weekend, then did it a few days during the week, then did it everyday for about two weeks until SWIM had a very humbling experience in the method of which she chose to obtain her drug and stopped using DXM completely. SWIM built up a decent tolerance to DXM in that short amount of time, even though SWIM knew at the time about the so called "50-trip rule."

SWIM doesn't understand exactly what happens with DXM, but to the best she can surmise, repeated use of DXM fries (haha) whatever it is in your brain that reacts to the substance, possibly to the point where it may never work again. So SWIM has an idea as to where her tolerence to DXM comes from.

The DXM isn't actually what SWIM is wondering about, but since it is SWIM's only other experience in "prolonged" usage (aside from green, which works fine for SWIM so far), SWIM thought it may be relevant information.

SWIM has never had regular access to opiates until recently, so there is no point in time where SWIM had ever done opiates for more than a few days at a time, with a few months inbetween, so SWIM does not know where a tolerance would come from. SWIM had obtained a few oxycodone, and SWIM is sorry, but she does not know the dosages of these anymore, as it was a while ago, and took these. She felt a very, odd, unnatural, nauseous high for about an hour or two, then spent 3 hours throwing up. Swim repeated this process about 3 times in the following days, hoping for a different result. Nothing. Since this was SWIM's first experience with opiates, she has since gathered that she may have overdosed to begin with, taking 2 whole pills of whatever the mg was. A month later, SWIM obtained a small amount of codeine, which did something, but relatively little for her, and SWIM was led to understand that codeine is a very weak opiate anyway. SWIM is sorry, but it was a long time ago and she really doesn't know what the exact dosage was. Then, SWIM had one of the most amazing experiences of SWIM's life: about 8 hours of feeling so good nothing in the world could touch her and being so content in both body and mind. And then an easy comedown. SWIM very clearly understood the addictive potential of opiates on this day.

Then, SWIM tried hydrocodone. It was ok, nowhere near the tramadol, but at least it didn't make her sick as fuck like the oxycodone did. Now, the most recent of that was about 7 months ago now. In Decemeber 2008, SWIM snorted heroin for the first time. SWIM was expecting something much, much more based on her experience with tramadol, but she got about the same high as she experienced with hydrocodone. SWIM didn't do very much, but SWIM feels that for her first time with heroin, what she took should have been more than enough. SWIM then did it again in the following days, taking a little more each time, but the effects stayed about the same, except for the nausea. Heroin seems to make SWIM violently ill for at least 6 hours, approximately 1 to 2 hours after the drug is first used.

So... SWIM IVed heroin. About the same amount. It came on faster, but no stronger. SWIM wondered about the rush, wondered about the euphoria, but nothing. And SWIM was STILL violently ill. Nothing will stay in SWIM's stomach for hours afterwards, which leaves SWIM feeling dehydrated and even worse. SWIM has not bothered with heroin again.

A week ago, SWIM got some more tramadol and hydrocodone. SWIM excitedly took her tramadol, hoping that it was just that drug that did something for her, but.. it did nothing for SWIM, and after two hours waiting for something to hit her, SWIM took 4 more, and 2 hydrocodone. SWIM got very heavy, with mild nausea aggitated by movement, not that SWIM could really move she felt so lazy, so she guesses there was a body high. But... still no mental high.

SWIM would very much like to know any possible reasons for this? SWIM is very worried she has done something to forever alter her ability to be flooded with euphoria. Weed still works pretty good for SWIM, and alcohol continues to work as it always has, but SWIM couldn't begin to tell you why one thing works when another doesn't.