If you could travel back in time what would you tell yourself?

[Dickon]

I've recently had a recurring thought: if I could travel back in time and meet myself before drugs became the focus of my life, is there anything I could have said or done that might have prevented or changed the course of my life.

I don't really have an answer to this question or even know if there is anything I could have said (I was very sure of certain things back then) that would have changed anything. About the only feeling I'm getting is that I'd want to tell myself things about life in general, and would probably not put a great emphasis on drugs. I'd try to get at those elements of my psyche that predisposed me to use drugs, i.e. seeing drugs as a symptom and not as a cause. However, as for specifics, I really haven't much of a clue.

I was wondering if any DF members had any ideas about this, as I'd be really interested to know what you all think.

Thanks for your answers

D

Reputation Comments on this post:

	very thoughtful and bound to keep a few DF users occupied.
	great idea for a thread
	good idea for a thread

[Heretic.Ape.]

I'd probably ask more questions than seek to impart knowledge. I feel like I've developed a lot of mental clutter over the years that has clouded the simplicity of direct awareness and experience that contributed to my great happiness in years past. Perhaps the old me could help remind me, as I didn't journal and have a bad memory.

But one thing I might say is that life is going to get really fucking crazy over the next several years and you're going to believe it will never get better again. It will. Remember what Grandpa said just before he died: "I have no regrets and would not change a thing", it's a great perspective check coming from a man who lived through the shit-storm he did.

That would probably be enough to keep me a little less strung out without interfering too much with the path of life.

[miffy]

Someone, when swim was 15, advised him to snort drugs only through one nostril. . . this, she said, was the advice she'd give her younger self if she could travel back. . . it's stood swim in good stead, too - tho one side of his nose is fucked, he can breathe fine through the other. . .

This question pre-supposes that people regret their drug-taking behaviour. . . swim doesn't, really, though he's suffered as a result, and struggles with heroin and coke habits. . . swim would prefer to have practised a bit more moderation, and there were certain specific times when a visitor from the future might have been handy - "That hit's going to give you a heart attack!" - but generally, swim has enjoyed himself. . . There's lotsa handy info he'd slip himself, but nothing along the lines of "Don't do drugs!".

[BlondieUK]

Less is more.

[PsychoActivist]

In all honesty, though this may seem like a very generic answer, SWIPA would tell himself to "stay in school, go to college, get a degree in something you like doing. Stay the fuck away from dope or you'll end up like this". At this point and time he would go on to explain his present situation.

SWIPA is not usually a generic person, but for this to be a truthful answer, that is the case.

[ex-junkie]

hmmm. looking back now, swim realizes she wasnt such an ugly creature, and that she didnt deserve the punishment. maybe smoke less weed, and definitely not to get involved with "rory".

what a fucking creature that cunt was.

[Mesaja]

SWIM would definetly tell himself,not to try Tramadol-EVER.
And probably give him a good beating,for doing it in the first place.
Also,maybe not to miss out all the girlls and the sex he did,because drugs were always far more important than that.

[dyingtomorrow]

Keep your fucking tolerance down asshole!

SWIM would be a happily heroinified lawyer right now if he just would have kept his god damn tolerance down.

[thebige]

Even if swim did,it wouln't have made a difference........
youngswim wouldn't listen anyway...............

[RaverHippie]

I wouldn't tell myself anything. Getting through everything on my own was such a critical step in my development that I wouldn't take back or change anything. Even the life-threatening and other ghastly things.

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by thebige

Even if swim did,it wouln't have made a difference........
youngswim wouldn't listen anyway...............

Fuck ... if he knew what his life was like starting about 2 years from then when he ran out of money (to the horror of 4 years later), he would. I've always been good at detailing things, not to mention if a future version of me came back right now I would listen to him, so I think it's in me.

Wouldn't you listen to a future version of you?

[Leftöver Crack]

as corny as it is, i would have told younger swim: you know these school assemblies you go to and commercials where they say dont do drugs? FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM!

[Spucky]

Swim will give the advise to do all things much slower,
that there is no need to do everything in a short Time.
And to take more care to his Soul.
That his Life-Motto:"It`s better to burn out than to fade away"
is not related to Humans!

[davestate]

Dickon,

Dreaming and wishing that SWIM could go back in time and change things is what brought him to drugs in the first place. Thinking like that is harmful to him

[welshmick]

SWIM would just have bought all the RED LEB he seen one day 15 years ago.
SWIM would just have smoked all the RED LEB he seen one day 15 years ago.

SWIM would have been a politician.

SWIM would win lots of money off the lottery.


SWIM would take out insurance on his lungs

Reputation Comments on this post:

Adds nothing and is not R&A related.

[Dickon]

Davestate,

For me, when all is said and done, I am a happy person. I wasn't really asking this in an "oh God, I've fucked my life up, boo hoo hoo, poor me" sort of way. I was really thinking of the type of person you "see" on here. The ones whom one can clearly see are likely heading for years of misery and pain at the hands of an addiction, but who haven't yet ventured far down that road.

I was really trying to solicit views as to what, if anything, can be done, before people (and I include my younger self, who dedicated himself to the cause of both "mind explansion" and later oblivion with an almost religious zeal) proceed into addiction. Maybe there is little or nothing, or what might have changed anything is specific to each individual but I think it's an interesting thing to reflect on, especially for those of us with young children who we don't want to see making some of our mistakes.

If we can try to steer this to the "Recovery and Addiction" side of things rather than "I'd win the lottery and get even more wasted" side of things then so much the better! This is the R&A section after all.

All good things

D

[ex-junkie]

i think if we could do something like "the ghost of xmas yet to come", where wed actually show ourselves how wed end up, then most of us would have avoided heroin/other drugs like the plague.

[Junkhead23]

He would probably say to his former self do NOT abuse ecstasy to the extent of severe depression!!!

[Master_Khan]

Originally Posted by Heretic.Ape.

Remember what Grandpa said just before he died: "I have no regrets and would not change a thing".

I consider myself extremely blessed and would say the same thing. All the very painful things that happened resulted in growth and understanding and made swim become the person he is and swims wife, children, and friends would all agree that swim has only improved with age.

The only time swim's friend really got caught out there in over his head abusing was with coke. Fortunately for swim's friend, it only cost him some sleepless nights and a bundle of loot. Some have paid a much worse price. Swim's friend knew it was never again for that stuff, and 27 years of abstinence later, swim's friend would still rather cut his own scrotum off with a rusty sheet rock knife than go near that stuff, so swim's friend learn 2 mighty valuable lessons: 1. Stay far way from that rotgut poison shit. 2. Swim have power to say no if him want to. And that is a huge thing to know about oneself. You can build a real person on top of a foundation like that. Swim prove this.

[Pringles]

My friend says he would have told himself to grab life by the horns & give them a good shake. He feels he has been far to introverted & walked away from challenges. More education would have been good. But the good thing is he's telling himself that now & feels that he has still gained unique experiences from his past.

[theswimmer]

Stay in school, those kids that snort/sell coke aren't cool and don't become best friends with them and get into that business... be an honest guy drugs lead to nothing but problems. eventually everyone will get popped and you'll be so depressed you become a serious opiate addict and you eventually don't have enough money to pay for your ever increasing habit.

theswimmer added 7 Minutes and 0 Seconds later...

also, SHUT THE FUK UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT IM SAYING YOU IGNORANT FUCK

[laing1981]

if swiy were to look back on life and change sumthing, wot would it be?

[dyingtomorrow]

When SWIM started doing heroin he had pretty much given up on life and wanted to die, and decided to burn down everything he had. He started out semi-doing this using heroin, although it changed him in the process into wanting to live and contribute to society, and generally being able to experience happiness out of the regular things like normal people do. So he was kind of caught in this confusing point where the momentum he had built up was towards destroying his life, and at the same time he was slowly learning to love life.

Unfortunately this point in his life was combined with another factor, the "binge phase." With most drugs and alcohol, people go through a binging of sorts when they first try them and like them. For example in college SWIM would get drunk like 4-5 nights a week for the first year he was there. After that he tapered down a lot on his usage and learned to enjoy alcohol in a more controlled way. Same thing with heroin - SWIM has seen that most people when they first try it see their tolerance and usage skyrocket. Then it reaches an equilibrium, and eventually drops to a small amount and controlled daily usage when they get older. (unfortunately with illegal drugs this can be especially destructive to someone's life; which our lying government then likes to blame on the inherent properties of drug, rather than itself which is the true cause - but I digress)

SWIM basically wishes for himself that he would have decided to control his usage and decided to "live" at an earlier point. At some points in his heroin career, the amount he spent on heroin in a month period would last him, comfortably, for 2 full years now. If heroin would have cured his depression faster, and/or he could have gotten through the natural "binge" phase faster, SWIM would have been able to finish the last semester and a couple classes he needed in law school for his law degree. Then he would have been easily able to afford to maintain himself on the heroin he needs to live and be productive, and would have enough money to not only live comfortably himself, but also extra to be able to help others, which is what he wishes he could do. Instead he went down a very painful and hellish path after the money/heroin ran out and he stopped going to work and lawschool. So SWIM would have wished to change one of the variables that caused him to run out of money and heroin before graduating law school.

[Euthanatos93420]

Swim would have signed up for the military as an Automated Aerial Technician instead of a goddamn spoon.

[ex-junkie]

swim would have gotten stuck into music more, and not started a relationship with one particular goon, who more or less helped her ruin her youth.