How to overcome "drinking to get laid"

[Pachanoid]

See, SWIM would not say he is a real alcoholic, primarily because he favours marijuana. Alcohol gives him terrible 24 hour lasting headaches and vomiting - and that's partly because he doesn't know how to drink.

If he was at a party, he might drink three beers and go home without any problems. But he keeps going at it, getting hornier and thinking he might get lucky with the ladies. He loses reason and mixes drinks that shouldn't be mixed.

How's the saying? "Liquor before beer never fear; beer before liquor, never sicker." Some say that's actually wrong, but SWIM doesn't care anyway.

It's weird how SWIM changes under the influence, because alchohol gives him the illusion of self-confidence, and it things is, it usually works! He gets the ladies. But then it's over, it feels meaningless and above all, fake, because he was impersonating SWIM's ideal self (if that makes sense).

SWIM can also get really aggressive and full of rage, like he's possessed or something. It reminds SWIM of those old ads that showed PCP 'addicts' as total beasts out of control. It happens with coke too, but SWIM hardly ever does that. It feels like it triggers my manic tendencies (SWIM is usually calm and bored, does not take risks).

SWIM does nor like that a bit, because it has since resulted in a totaled car crash (in which I should have died, said the doctor), me getting into bloody, needless fights and of course, having highly dangerous sex et al.

SWIM's only reason for drinking is to get laid or close to women. He is cool with cannabis, but SWIM is clearly using alcohol as crutch. SWIM would ask, is there any way to overcome this particular problem, because it seems SWIM has linked alcohol = sex in his brain. He also wonders if any of SWIY might have the same problem and maybe a solution.

Thanks for reading

[wonky]

Well, SWIM doesn't feel qualified to give you advice, but has SWIY tried not drinking at the parties? SWIY does get along well with the marijuana, after all. SWIY is right, it is meaningless and fake, because it's not the real SWIY. So it is just empty. The car crash is pretty scary. SWIM gave up all drinking at 20, she was drinking too much and had a little boy to take care of. She didn't drink for 6-7 years, then tried it again. It didn't seem like it used to, and SWIM definitely didn't like the way she felt the next day. SWIM did have to give up hanging out with her friends and find new interests, because her friends wanted her to drink. Does SWIY still talk/flirt with the women when not drinking? If not, SWIY'S problem might be self-esteem, and it would be much better to work on that so that you can be the real SWIY. That is what SWIY wants the ladies to like, right?

[Junket]

Originally Posted by wonky

if not, SWIY'S problem might be self-esteem, and it would be much better to work on that so that you can be the real SWIY. That is what SWIY wants the ladies to like, right?

truth. absolute truth.

although its impossible to truly understand a womans brain, you can definitely assume that if you plan to make it past one night stands, she will want to know the true you, not some constantly drunk dude.

try lowering your amount of drinking each night.. if you have been drinking 10 beers to get confident, drink 8.. build up with a little bit of natural courage.. and then continue, until you can just be normal.

I don't claim to be some hardcore player, "with a different bitch every night", in fact, I'm in a very amazing, serious relationship. but if you have any intuition or common sense, you can tell when a girl likes you. I get this alot and naturally I stray away now a days. It is all about being yourself. I have a shit load of friends who will be talking to me about their relationships, (or lack thereof) and they ALWAYS bring up the following:

playing hard to get
being mr. nice guy
being an asshole, on purpose
impressing the girl
etc..

don't fucking play games and try to act as somebody you aren't. be your mother fucking self. if you are a goofy, down to earth dude, then fuckin crack some god damn jokes and make her laugh

if you are some sleezeball, arragant douche bag, then you are on your own and you will be stuck with drunken one night stands and stupid whores..

so just be cool. do your thing. don't go after the slutty dressed bitches, but you don't have to go for the super conserative one either.

find a happy medium, find someone you connect with.

if you don't know what that means, you haven't found them yet.

you will know when sparks fly and shit is going down

junket out..

Reputation Comments on this post:

Be yourself! That's the way, sink or float as you are, not playing a role. Not so sure about cutting down from 10 to 8 b...

[rokman nash]

As an old man of 43 ,who's been married 18 yrs,My friend Dave can say unequivocally that its all about attitude.To this day I can go in a bar with my 25 yr old son and score as easy or easier than he can(now Dave doesn't do that),but knows he can.Either you have it or you don't,BUT it can be learned.Try listening instead of talking about yourself or your possessions.Look women in the eye,when you talk to them(that means the face not the body).Let them come to you,don't buy drinks for everyone.Don't be cheap,but look for quality,most extraordinary women usually sit there cause most hardankles are to intimidated to give them a chance.

Try going to a bar/party straight and watch the women and who they relate to. You might /will be surprised.

good thoughts