USA - Trying to find a job with a felony?

[Donmeka]

SWIM has found this very difficult. SWIM only has 1 felony and charge and it is battery which stemmed from a domestic dispute with SWIMs father. cops came i gues SWIMs father had scratch marks on him and SWIM had nothng(had a HUGE bruise on thigh but didnt see that till i was in jail.

The Police ask SWIM to leave and he did not want to(they did not know he was high) so they arrested SWIM and his father told them to hold me until court (3 days local, 11/12 days in county)they charge SWIM with battery but through living in his aunts place and going thru one heck of a lesson for SWIM.

ANYWAY...SWIM is back home with his father & mother and since he got out of county SWIM and his pops have never been closer and SWIMs relationship w/ him has never been better.

ok bottom line SWIM had a small interview yesterday morning at a taco bell and the manager being very nice and also had a gang and/or prison tattoo on his hand. just fyi

He told SWIM there are certain felonies that he just cannot hire but told SWIM not to be discouraged and call him today in about 4hrs(its early in the am atm) SWIM is wondering if anyone knew the laws on hiring felons especially not so dangerous cases such as SWIMs. The case has no drugs,robbery or sexual stuff. Plus it was SWIMs 1st violent offense(no idea if that means much)

SWIMs father even drove him to the place and SWIM hates that something so stupid stops him from a job at a freakin taco bell!0_o SWIM can only imagine being turned down at McDonalds as well and someone speaking only spanish getting the spot lol. SWIM listens to what his father tells him to do now yessiry.

if this has to be deleted because it is not about drug laws SWIM understands he just trusts this community and would like to know what they think.

Cheers!

Snow

[old hippie 56]

Swim found out that if a person is up-front and honest about the circumstances, it usually not a problem. Don't dwell on the negative aspects. There is usually a way to get a felony off of one records.

[fnord]

May i suggest we take a lesson from a discordian text?

Sermon 4;
getting over on the bosses.
Originally posted January 31, 2003
SERMON 4 -- "What can we do to help you stop screaming?"
Brothers & Sisters & Hermaphrodites, I am here today to do a
little SINning! That's right, I am gonna lay down the TRUTH
about LYING.
EVERYBODY IN AUTHORITY LIES TO YOU, EVERY
DAY. Your government, your boss, the clergy (me too!),
everybody. This is why they are IN positions of authority,
friends.
Now, earlier this week, I promised I was gonna lay a few
helpful hints on you guys as to how to improve your lot in life.
Here it is.
LIE.
That's right...lie. On your resume, lie like a bastard. The bigger
the lie, the more likely it is to be believed. Round up a few of
your friends, get them in on the scheme, and list them as
former bosses. When (if) the prospective employer calls, your
friend will gush forth about what a great employee you were,
and how sorry they were to lose you, etc, etc. Reciprocate for
your friends when THEY go looking for a job. Remember,
kids, KEEP YOUR STORIES STRAIGHT.
This policy is most useful for those jobs you KNOW you could
do. The position of supervisor, as I found (by using the above
tactic) consists mostly of bullshytting and playing on the
internet for about twice what your employees make. As a
or kill me
12
supervisor, I caught an interviewee doing just the above (by
luck), and HIRED HIM ANYWAY, for two reasons.
1. He had guts and initiative.
2. A guy with that kind of chutzpah is GOING to liven things up (Hail
Eris!)
Obviously, this tactic will not do you much good if you feel the
need to be, say, a brain surgeon; it works best to get in on a
low-to-middle tier management job.
The best part is, YOU CANNOT GET IN TROUBLE FOR
THIS...the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get a
job that YOU COULDN'T GET IF YOU WERE HONEST.
Beautiful, ain't it?
As for minutia, such as a college education, etc...NOBODY
checks for the validity of your claims. Hedge your bets by
getting ahold of a REAL diploma, scan it, edit it, and color
print it on parchment (from a local office supply store). Include
it with your paperwork...you'll WOW 'em, and NOBODY will
EVER know.
I have used this tactic for 7 years...I don't anymore. Why? I
now have a REAL resume with REAL management jobs listed
on it, so the truth is better than a lie. (until I feel the need to try
a new line of work.)
The world lies to you to keep you down...you lie to IT, to raise
yourself up. Because, remember, the great Lenny Bruce said,
"American society will cripple you, and then arrest you for
limping"...But here in the halls of Subgenius Discordianism,
we say, "CAST OFF THOSE CRUTCHES, AND CRAWL
WITH PRIDE!" CAN I GET AN AMEN?
Or kill me.

I have attached the PDF this was taken from.

[doggy_hat]

SWIM has to agree with the above post.

When he sees the part of a job application he's filling out that says "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" He just filled out no, even though it's not true. Usually employers aren't going to waste their time digging up police records for ever application. Especially for a fast food job.

[cra$h]

hell, good luck gettin a job without a criminal record!!