Tolerance - interesting to see how many..?

[W!SE]

exactly how many people have been getting by without having to look withdrawal in the eyes for at least a week?.. ok, easy. Now, a month? 6months? a year?

swim used to be so well established and never thought he'd be where hes at currently (On the edge..barely hangin on to 6+months). swim wonders, does everyone just man up and simply face the withdrawal, or are there others like him, who keep lucking out...selling their soul a little bit more each day

swim knows more people look at these threads that aren't even members than those who are and might respond so swim will never fully know...but its nice to have an idea

[PsychoActivist]

SWIM is going on 3 months now with pods and other opiate/oids. He wants to quit bad. His tolerance is so ridiculously high... it takes him at least 50+ grams of pods to get any euphoria whatsoever. Last time he took Oxycodone or Hydrocodone he took 60 mg's each (at seperate times) and felt nothing. He wants to quit so bad so he can stop his $130 a week pod habit (since he never even gets any euphoria from it anymore) and to lower his tolerance but he has to work Mon-Fri and he can't call out sick so withdrawals are not an option. He refuses to lose his job. Mthadone or Suboxone has crossed his mind but he is unsure he wants to go that route.

[W!SE]

swim is right there with you...cept his drug of choice is oxycodone and he was up to 120 on weekends 90mgs on a normal day..his tolerance has dropped tremendously but he has only felt the onset of w/d for less than an hour..

swim feels u on the job situation man..he actually got a new job to start 2m which is supposed to solve everything. gotta rebuild everything starting from the bottom everything got fkd in order to get away from w/d.

a small part of swim wants to quit, but thatll lead back here anyway. what he really wants is a gross amount at a discounted price ON A REGULAR BASIS is that so much to fucking ask for geeze

60mg is a pretty good amount for one dose, cant believe swim felt nothing. how exactly do the pods work..tea?

[PsychoActivist]

Originally Posted by W!SE

swim is right there with you...cept his drug of choice is oxycodone and he was up to 120 on weekends 90mgs on a normal day..his tolerance has dropped tremendously but he has only felt the onset of w/d for less than an hour..

swim feels u on the job situation man..he actually got a new job to start 2m which is supposed to solve everything. gotta rebuild everything starting from the bottom everything got fkd in order to get away from w/d.

a small part of swim wants to quit, but thatll lead back here anyway. what he really wants is a gross amount at a discounted price ON A REGULAR BASIS is that so much to fucking ask for geeze

60mg is a pretty good amount for one dose, cant believe swim felt nothing. how exactly do the pods work..tea?

Yes the pods can be ordered from many sites off the net (which I will not mention due to the sourcing rule). Typically they are ground up into a coffee grinder and then soaked in hot (not boiling as boiling will destroy the alkaloids) water with some lemon or lime juice for about 20-30 mins then the tea is consumed.

Plenty of information in regards to this can be found on this site as well as many places on the web. This would be a good section of the forums to gather information in regards to pods:
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=162

[W!SE]

wow ok swim sees. dried pods are fine to make the tea, correct?

[PsychoActivist]

Originally Posted by W!SE

wow ok swim sees. dried pods are fine to make the tea, correct?

Yes that is the only way they are available legally, SWIM believes.
They are sold for "ornamental purposes" used in "flower arrangements".

With that said we better keep this thread on topic now so it does not get closed

[W!SE]

swim is good to go. (if swiy gets a chance can he pm swim his fav type of pod)

.......uppin thread.......how long swiy been on the run?

[dyingtomorrow]

SWIM was a year thru lawschool and holding down a serious corp. real estate job when he first got addicted to heroin. He had all the money and all the toys he could want, and could buy all the heroin he needed. Unfortunately, like with alcohol and college kids for instance, one goes through a "honeymoon" phase of irresponsibility before one learns how to use it properly. A peak $400 a day addiction destroyed him financially with about a semester of school left, and it's been all downhill and hell from there. For about a 6 month period, he spent probably 1-2 days out of 3 in mild to severe heroin withdrawal, desperate and always scraping and stealing.

SWIM is on suboxone now but it doesn't help him like heroin does. He hates it. Going through withdrawals and "cleaning up" is pointless, because he knows he will just get heroin with any amount of cash he ever gets again. He has this huge hole in his soul and is basically dwindling away, knowing he won't ever really be able to afford heroin again, and with no desire to go back to the work which he destroyed his life intentionally to escape from. SWIM doesn't have much soul left, except for a few burning bright parts that dream so beautifully, vividly and despairingly of the way things could be. SWIM knows what you mean by "on the edge."

[Corksil]

Wicked chemicals, opiates. As dying said, they create a hole. Even if there is no hole, no void, no emptiness. You use and use, and slowly the hole grows. Soon using doesn't even fill the hole, and you just feel dead and empty. SWIM has a few pill bottles in his closet, enough to get high a few times if he spaces it out and lets tolerance drop. He used to use more frequently, but he could not afford it and it was ruining him. During an intense psychedelic trip he saw the hole and and became aware of it. Every day he goes about doing his meaningless pointless bullshit routines (work, eat, rinse, repeat) -- and every day he wishes the hole would go away. Funny though, how nothing seems to fill the hole like that mellow euphoria... Like waves of warm sea water washing over him as he lays in the warm sun on a sandy beach.

SWIM doesn't use enough to bring on serious withdrawals anymore, but he knows he will again some day. He still feels it though, every day. Every day waking up empty and hollow, thinking of the one thing that will make him feel full and good. Wholesome and complete, at peace and at ease. Damn the evil chemicals and the things they do to our minds. /end emo rant.

Reputation Comments on this post:

beautifully written

[W!SE]

great posts guys..really

its weird bcuz swim can get off, he knows how to do the shit he's done it before.. but like dying said, he knows he will be back... so basically why leave to begin with then?

swim wants to be like this forever, only not like This --> more like how he was b4 when he didnt even know how much he was doing because he didnt count.. there is such beauty in carelessness..things seem to flow so much smoother

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by W!SE

great posts guys..really

its weird bcuz swim can get off, he knows how to do the shit he's done it before.. but like dying said, he knows he will be back... so basically why leave to begin with then?

swim wants to be like this forever, only not like This --> more like how he was b4 when he didnt even know how much he was doing because he didnt count.. there is such beauty in carelessness..things seem to flow so much smoother

"Such beauty in carelessness"

Ahhhhhh... yes. That touches me dear, thanks for writing it.

SWIM used to be an a-emotional, a-sexual, cold, compassionless, calculating atheist; paranoid about financial failure, frightened by any lack of planning and control, disturbed by the concept of poverty, and extremely, suicidally depressed. Then SWIM found ecstasy and changed a lot for the better. Ecstasy is not usable over the long term, and SWIM fell back into his normal state until he found heroin. SWIM went from owning a condo at the hippest corner in the city, being a semester away from a law degree, and having a heavy job with a corporate real estate law group working for a Fortune 500 company, and being unhappy, wound up and stressed every second of his life - to becoming completely devoid of fear and anxiety.

SWIM ended up running out of money before he could make the jump to a high paying job that would have enabled him to use heroin and remain normal. Now he is pretty close to literal, living on the street with no food, homelessness at this point. His family has told him they won't help him anymore and they don't want to see him and not to come by or contact them, and his gf is probably going to kick him out of her place soon. SWIM is jobless as well, but despite this horrible situation, isn't really scared of anything. Three years ago the concept of homelessness would have scared the shit out of SWIM - now, he doesn't really give a rats ass. Sure, there's despair, but not fear.

Carelessness is beautiful.

[chukbzle]

Swim has been battling opiates a long time and is still prescribed 60 subs and 180 rox30s a month and bein in pain and lovin opiates is just extra hell .but ive learned dont be so self defeating .if you read thru the posts as i have many a night freakin out ,you will realize its easy to see wat ppl tryn to get off opiates do. 1) get scared your gunna run out 2) ur OUT and not happy everything hurts it seems impossible to be without3) they either go back or stick out longer and start to realize things get better it just sucks knowin itll take time.and always play as safe as poss ,u wanna quit u gotta quit where ur gettin it. but also u gotta stand up realize ur whining(not just u,we all do..lol) and realize that a few mgs determines wat u do everyday .opiates break u down whether u need em or not .of course its great bein high and numb but gravity does happen. just like benzos ,so easy to take so hard to stop .and u gotta realize when u make excuses why u GOTTA take more ur just lyin to yourself .its just nice to think u can take all ur worries away without real work. sorry for the long writing ,but theres no trick or magic u just gotta accept it and stay positive --goood luck hope i made some valid point

[duke9011]

Swim has been a daily opiate user for almost a year now. He started off on oxycodone(percocet) then moved onto hydromorphone(dilaudid) and is now on oxymorphone(opana er). swim is prescribed all his for chronic pain management but cant lie and say that he doesn't get somewhat of a high off them. SWIM wakes up every morning in mild withdrawl and the first thing he does is snort his opana to get rid of the withdrawl and help his pain.

[samuraigecko]

SWIM actually wrote an article about this in the appropriate section. It was a "real time study" of his own withdrawal experience. This is an experience he chooses to put himself through either once or twice a year for a significant period. Usually he will do 6 months on / 6 months off or 3 months on / 3 months off.

He finds this an important thing to do for a few reasons.
* It allows his body to regain health.
* It allows his body to purge itself of outside contaminates.
* It allows his natural tolerance to drop again.
* It allows him to save money that he would perhaps be spending on other things.
* It allows him to stay out of the game for a little while and not be noticed.
* More importantly, it allows his mind to become his own property again.
The list of benefits go on.

For those whom are serious about quitting, even if just for a while, SWIM would only have one thing to say "JUST MAN UP AND DO IT". To many users and addicts are scared of shadows, scared of what will happen if they have to go through withdrawal. It does indeed suck, but it is not the end of the world (although it may feel like it at the time).

If one is sick and KNOWS what will make them feel better, the compulsion to do just that becomes fairly extreme. One needs to have a strong mind and be able to see the bigger picture.

Self tapering (and having the self control to do so) is an important factor. If one can reach a point of use which is easier to jump off, then the withdrawal will be nowhere as severe.

Hope this has been of help.

Reputation Comments on this post:

always nice and helpful

[W!SE]

swim finally tapered down but is getting back up there lol

swim will give the full update 2mrw after work he just remembered this thread but his drugforums time is officially up for the night..

if n e 1 wants to explain their situation go for it... HOW LONG HAVE swiYOU BEEN AVOIDING WITHDRAWAL? comments? lataa (life is good again)