Journal - Roxie just got home from detox..

[phoenix71]

Roxie has been reading this site for a while and while it seems counter-intuitve for her to get to the recovery board thru an informational board, she has found the recovery board to be useful, and has related to many of the stories found here and found much of the advice useful. Though she has lurked for a while, it has come time for her to commit to the recovery process and needs all the help she can get.

Plus sleep seems to be elusive at the moment

Roxie just got home from a medical detox. Before she went in she was taking up to 400 mg day of an oxycodone/oxycontin mix and drinking heavily on top of it, with the occassional hit off a joint. She is now on Suboxone but came home to reality and is beginning to jones for anything -a beer a joint whatever. But the goal is to maintain a sober life (including no alcohol - for a while at least). She does have a couple of xanax but holidng off for when they are REALLY needed them. The really good bottle of wine she is saving for a bday present for a friend is looking pretty tasty too. I don't think she will drink it but I know she can't get it out of the house right now either.

Essentially she is alone, exhausted, scared and pissed off. All of the things that she is supposed to do to distract herself remind her of using. Even basic things like housecleaning, or watching tv. She always used her DOC to get energy/enlightenment to do these things.

For the record she is NOT a beleiver or fan of NA/AA, but does plan to go to a meeting if necessary- just to fill time. However she doesn't see this as a solution, but rather needs other answers. She is painfully aware of the natural instinct to self sabatoge but also aware of limitations.

I started to write a book here about Roxie's story - but the story can come later. This is her second go around with this battle so she has a basic understanding of the fight but knowledge is not enough to conquer this demon. She needs comfort and support at the moment.

PLEASE REMIND ROXIE WHY SHE IS DOING THIS!! Already the fire is sputtering out before it can burn brightly enough for her rebirth.


Thank you.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Well done for coming here for support and good luck