Journal - Hi all..SWIM's codeine addiction

[Rainbowzz]

SWIM is trying to come clean from codeine.. was up to about 32 tylenol 1's a day/about eight T3's a day. SWIM has also beein taking oxy every so often and is now trying to get clean. Also has fibromyalgia and severe back problems and mobility problems so cannot get totally clean as must take the Tylenol 3 to be able to function.

Just came out to family and spent night in hospital, now SWIM's Mom is handling all Tylneol 3s so they get three a day as per doc.

Withdrawls are hell.. even though SWIM knows that the dose they have been taking is small.. SWIM has been taking this much codeine for almost a year. The depression without it and the lack of motivation is crippling as SWIM is also the mother of a ten month old. Swim knows that she needs to be clean for her son but its just so hard.

SWIM has been smoking small amounts of marijuana to try to stave off the pain from the pain condition, and it works, but is currently out.

SWIM is feeling rather hopeless and agitated. SWIM just read Patient X's story and has a little bit of hope, but is having a hard time with depression. Should add that SWIM also has co-morbid mental health issues - specifically PTSD,Borderline personality and severe Panic Disorder. IT just all is seeming to much and SWIM just wants to give up even though she knows she is killing her liver with the tylenol.

Hoping to get ideas and hope from all the other SWIMS out there.