Diagnose My Brain Anyone?

[JamesTehDino]

Hello everyone. Sorry if this is in the wrong place! Also I apologize for the long read but I really need your help!


About 9-10 months ago I started having these extremely weird episodes that come randomly when I go to sleep. This has happened at least 5 times.

I can always tell when it's about to happen. It just happened about 8 or so hours ago so I decided to post it here while it was still fresh in my memory so I can describe it as best as possible.

Take note: This did not involve drugs, medication, or any substance in any way. I didn't take anything. The only pill I had had all day was an Ibuprofen for a headache. I doubt the headaches have anything to do with this either because I get headaches quite often. I doubt there's any parallel between the two.

What happens is I get this weird feeling in my head. I become extremely tired. Exhausted. The feeling in my head is different then a normal tiredness though. It is very numbing. It almost feels as if my brain is vibrating. Sometimes it can be a tingly sensation. I always say that I won't go to sleep no matter how tired I get but when this happens I am usually laying down in bed. I try to stay awake watching TV, but I decide to rest my eyes. I tell myself that I'll stay awake I just want to relax a little. Today when it happened I rolled over on my side while my little brother played video games and I just lied on my bed for the longest time.

When the episode first starts I feel like I'm crossing a state of mind. Of course I'm going to sleep but this is much different. I feel like I'm crossing over into a state of mind that I can not return from. I remember the first time this happened I literally thought that I was going to die. I thought that I would not be able to return to normal.

When I finally cross over into sleep I battle to get back into consciousness. My episode usually kicks in within a few seconds after I fall asleep. I believe that the episode lasts up to 2-3 minutes usually but it's hard to say because I lose my bearings completely. This time it only lasted a minute at the most. I think I've gotten better at fighting them off.

I know that I'm still mildly aware of my surroundings when this happens. I can remember trying to get the attention of my little brother who was sitting on the end of my bed. I also remember trying to grab my cell phone to call my house phone for help, (when I came out of it though I realized it was a TV remote in my hand and not a cell phone!).

When I go into this I always try to move. I try to move my hands, arms, legs, and I try to scream for help. Nothing will work. I am in complete paralysis. Not one part of my body will budge and I become very stiff. I can remember trying to squeeze my hand, kick my legs, and make any type of noise. I couldn't manage to get a peep out no matter how hard I tried.

I remember this time I thought my legs were hanging off the edge of my bed and I woke up in a completely different position that I had pictured myself being in. It was the same position I remembered being in when I went to sleep but for some reason I thought I was in a different position during the episode.

I am extremely panicked during this because I always fear that the end of the episode will kill me. At the end of all this my brain feels like it's swelling up and there's an enormous amount of pressure. I always feel like it will just keep going until my brain explodes and I pop a blood vessel and become a vegetable for the rest of my life!!! Not fun!


****If you have ever seen 'The Butterfly Effect' I imagine that this is the feeling Ashton Kutcher gets when he adds all those new memories after changing the future****

I always manage to bring myself out of it by talking to myself in my thoughts. I reassure myself that everything will be alright and I try to control what's happening. I always tell myself that I have the power to stop this and I focus my mind and that's usually what brings me out.

After I wake up I still cannot move. My eyes will open and I'm still struggling to not cross over into that state again. This time when it happened I almost went back twice before I was completely awake again.

After this happens I don't feel tired anymore and I can go to sleep perfectly normal and there are no noticeable after effects.

I really, really need someone's opinion on this. I am very reluctant to tell my doctor any of this because I'm afraid I'll be diagnosed with epilepsy. I can't afford to have my driver's license taken away!

My friend SWIM also has this exact condition. He is wondering if his drug use could have induced this. SWIM highly doubts that this could be the source of the problem but he doesn't rule it out as a possibility. SWIM has taken the following drugs: Nitrous, Dextromethorphan, Amphetamines, Marijuana, Percocet, and of course plenty of alcohol. But SWIM hasn't used any of these drugs recently. He is still curious if those could be part of his problem though.

My friend and I appreciate you for reading this entire thing. If you know what could be causing this or have any possible diagnosis please share all the information you can!