Canada - Lizard's border-crossing misadventure (Salvia)

[bcubed]

I alluded to this in another post; here's the full story. Hopefully this might be of help to certain SWIYs crossing the US-CA border.

Early fall '08, lizard was on his way to Ottawa, Canada for reasons he wouldn't share w/ me. He slept minimally the night before, and had a bit of a hangover from the 750ml cheap wine he drank in an effort to "force" an earlier bedtime than he'd grown accustomed to.

Anyway, he gets to the border crossing in Ogdensburg, NY. He happened to have ~15gr Salvia in a baggie, and a pipe used exclusively for the smoking of salvia. He thought about tossing it when he remembered, but refrained, as he was *pretty sure* it was legal in both CA and NY.

So, he gets flagged for further investigation in Canada (later found to be due to "work tools" in car), where a DWI popped up (that he entered accelerated rehabilitative disposition--ARD--for). This gets him excluded from Canada for "serious criminality." At this point, Lizard is really hoping his info of Salvia being legal is correct!

The guard decides to search his car and finds the stuff. They take him into a holding cell, say they're booking him for violating the drug act for MJ. Lizard then says, "But it's not MJ...look at it and see!" (To which they agreed.) Lizard said it was "Sage" about 3-4 times; when asked if it was Salvia, he just looked stupid and said, "It's...sage."

They also were really curious about a. a trunk light that Lizard had wired into the dome light and run inside the headliner, and b. the car title--apparently bringing hot cars into Canada is a booming biz.

He was then put in touch w/ a Canadian lawyer, who informed him, "Well, if it's pot, they'll most likely just take it and turn you around." Ultimately, the gave him a "permission to leave Canada" form and turned him around. Surprisingly, they left the goods on the passenger seat.

So, when he got to the US, same routine (yeah, he shoulda tossed it). The Homeland Security types had obv. been tipped off, took the salvia and pipe, and searched+x-rayed the car. They also ran a chemical test on the pipe, which came back negative (Lizard was racking his brain, trying to remember if he'd had it out of his possesion at a party--perhaps someone used it?)

So, the cop assigned to him stars asking him really obvious questions about the stuff, to wit:

"So, what is it?" ......"It's sage."
"Salvia"..................."Sage"
"Do you grow it?".......(lol)"Do I look like a farmer?"
"How come you have so much?".......[no answer] (15g, lol).
"How do you use it?"......(Lizard resisted the desire to say, "Why not try it out as a suppository and report back?")

So, they say they're going to hold lizard for "drug paraphanelia." Lizard knows a simple pipe isn't cause, so he (repeatedly) asks them to tell him what drug it tested positive for. They don't give a straight answer--obv. they don't want to give that data away. About the 6th time he asks, they get pissed and take him to a cell. He asked two questions: 1. "Am I under arrest?" To which the officer looked real uncomfortable, and answered, "Yes, you're being detained" the second time lizard asked. When asked why "Because I want to more fully comply with my dedicated public servants" (lizard can be a smartass at times), he said it related to being "uncooperative" by asking 6X the results of the test of the pipe.

So, they hold him in a cell, and say he's being held for citation by the local (i.e. Ogdensburg) police. He spends about an hour in a holding cell; during that time, he asks the H.S. guy to come over and says..."Hey, those local cops sure don't seem to be making this a priority...or, are they comin' all the way from Albany?"

Eventually, they "make Lizard a deal": forfeit the pipe+salvia and leave. He's pretty sure that he leaves, with the goods, even if he refuses, but he accepts, 'cause he's spent way too long at the border, and remember, he's still not entirely sure NY allows salvia. Other than being out 3 hours of his time, he now gets treated like Pablo Escobar's red-haired stepson every time he re-enters the US.

Things of import:

1. Any drug-testing technology for salvia divinorum hasn't been disseminated to Homeland Security (and you'd think they'd have it first), at least as of 9/08.

2. Lizard was impatient while they were conducting their search of his car (before being arrested); he figured they could tell the difference between a guilty person (nervous but trying to hide it) and an impatient one (not making any attempt to hide his imapatience at all.) Such subtelties are lost on Homeland Security.

3. Don't have anything unnecessary in one's car whilst going into Canada.

4. Homeland security WILL try to railroad one into more serious charges; one can only hope they are all as ham-fisted as the moron lizard interacted with.

Reputation Comments on this post:

thanks for the info on the Canadian border