Culture - A Dealer's Certificate of Standards

[mickey_bee]

A Dealer's Certificate of Standards.

I, [who cannot be named for legal reasons] hereby declare to adhere to certain standards within my trade and promise to do what is right and fair inasmuch that is permitted by my [ i l l e g a l] profession.

I hereby swear to the following:


Hygiene

When mixing up any powder or liquids, I promise do it on a clean surface, with a clean blade/card/ in as clean wraps/bags as I can manage. If I must keep my wares hidden in socks/pants/pockets/mouth/arse, I shall be especially vigilant as to how they are wrapped and ensure they are covered at least 3-4 times and sealed properly. I shall store/hide my wares in a cool/dark and dry place to avoid contamination and moisture.

Timekeeping

I promise to not lie about the time I will take to deliver my wares to my customers, or to leave my customers standing on street corners for ridiculous lengths of time, especially in winter.

Respect

I promise to treat my customers with dignity and respect whenever possible. I will not fall prey to the traps of 'powder power' and will never lord my wares over customers less fortunate than myself. I will never take advantage of women or men for drugs.

Ethics

I will abide by the knowledge that overdoses occur more frequently for those just out of prison or rehab and will always endeavour to tell such customers the risks involved. I shall never sell a person their first 'hit' and will do what I can to dissuade the young and inexperienced.

Adulterants

I will never cut any powders or liquids with anything I believe to be harmful or unclean. I will always use the safest cuts on the market and will keep abreast of developments regarding the safest cuts available, only if cutting is necessary.

Credit

I promise not to be overly tight about giving credit to regular customers and if I know they are sick or desperate, I promise to afford regular customers at least one bag on tick.

(print out and...) Sign or stamp here





Swim thinks he might actually give this to some of his dealers, it might give them a chuckle at least....
Taken from Black Poppy magazine.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Would be good if dealers stuck by this. Also made me laugh.

[Junkhead23]

Hah quality might give this to SWIMS dealers no like they wud pay attention (or read it probably)

[stephy171072]

Swim wishes all dealers would stand buy this. Very funny made swim laugh

[bobbila18]

Haha, frankly I can't believe I even read it, but SWIM's dude can't even speak english, didn't the magazine print it in spanish too? Just kidding, but it'd be nice if he "kept abreast of the latest developments in cuts," instead of making SWIM's stuff taste like caramel when he smokes it.

[420Shark210SanAnto]

haha im with Bobila on this, please translate into Espanol for those of us living in the southwest, 90% of dealers here (hell, most everyone here in general) dont speak good english