Opinions - Is it possible to lose the addict tag

[Junkhead23]

One thing SWIM is really worried about is the fact that he thinks he will always be known as a smackhead even after he has quit. Has anyone had any experiences of this and is it possible to lose the addict tag

[Zendo]

does swiy mean with doctors?

[PsychoActivist]

SWIM thinks it is important to realize that when one quits it will be very tough for them to maintain a lot of the same friends. When SWIM quit drinking he pretty much cut off contact with all his old friends and it was very hard as some were definitely true friends.

He does still talk to them every once in a while to touch base and to see them for a little bit and when he does he ends up drinking. This is okay for SWIM as it only happens once every few months and that is the only time he drinks.

I guess what SWIM is getting at is, if one does quit and part of the process is cutting off contact with a lot of the people who know them, then there won't be a whole lot left around that knew him as a junkie. One would most likely be finding new interests, new hobbies, and ultimately making new friends. These new friends would be people who didn't know one when he was using and though one might not be afraid to share that part of their life with them, they will most likely accept it and think "well he's clean now". They would have nothing - no memories - of him as an addict. SO even if they know, it wouldn't have much of an impact on them as if they were there.

Other than that, there is family. I guess it all depends on ones particular family, but SWIM believes that parents and other close relatives would be willing to put the past behind them and just be happy that one was strong enough to go through with kicking the dope, and happy to see them back on their feet again. It may take a while to gain some trust back and they may still hide their cash or pills when one is around - but that should be expected until one has been clean for a while.

[Richard_smoker]

here's the deal.

your label will be dictated by your actions over time. if you remain consistent and you always push toward honesty in all things--your words and your actions, then people will inevitably change their view of you. At first, it seems like an impossible task. Why? because you might have all the intention in the world but without TIME to PROVE YOURSELF, you simply cannot change anyone's view of you.

Problems arise when someone does any or all of the following:

1. Failure to actually QUIT taking the drugs--that's why it's truly the first step.
2. Too many relapses AFTER announcing to the world that he has renounced the drug...unfortunately, people are people. and although relapse has been accepted by the medical community as part of the normal life cycle of addiction--and even recovery, your family and acquaintances will NOT be so forgiving.
3. continues to live a "shady" lifestyle. lying, stealing, disappearing for several hours with someone you just met, neglecting to put your family and friends FIRST will likely foster your old 'junky' label.
4. continues to talk about DRUGS, DRUGS, DRUGS! this might be the most difficult advise of all, because whether you're a current junky or an ex-junky, most of your time & thought revolves around either scoring more drugs, or keeping yourself clean! If you have this problem, then NA meetings are probably your best bet, followed by immersion in creative hobbies like music, art, drama, etc.

Now, as for the POSITIVE steps that you can take to restore your reputation.

1. Honesty in 'everything.' In other words, if people look to you as being a truthful mirror of reality, both good AND bad, then they will see something completely different than a junky.
2. Selflessness. Offer your assistance to anyone and everyone who might need it. Help your sister move. Offer to take your grandmother's trash out to the street and DO IT! in fact, start taking out your neighbor's trash as well. You get the idea. Do these things--first as a 'show' but soon they will become the new YOU. As you can probably imagine, it's impossible to simultaneously think someone is a junky AND a selfless, good samaritan.
3. Consistency. Whenever you agree to meet someone at a certain time, BE THERE. no exceptions.
4. Listen. Under the influence of junk, all we want to do is cram our thoughts down someone else's throats or just avoid conversation altogether. Learn to listen. One way to learn this awesome skill is to challenge yourself by regurgitating what someone has just told you, then saying, "is that what you're trying to say?"

My final thought:

• Many of the most reputable, trustworthy, respectable people I've ever met are "ex-junkies" or "ex-alcoholics" who have PROVEN THEMSELVES over the long-haul. By maintaining sobriety for SO LONG, they have earned the deepest respect from their families, friends, and colleagues. For the most part, people inherently accept them as being WISE. People CONFIDE IN THEM. They are viewed as NONJUDGMENTAL , NONTHREATENING, and extremely WISE.
• What do these people have that the smackhead on day#3 of withdrawal do NOT have?
  • Time being sober. (reliability)
  • Humility. (perceived humility by observers)
  • Selflessness.
  • Willingness to Listen.
  • The KNOW that they do NOT have all the answers...instead, they're living one day at a time until days become months and years.
  • Respect. This is not something they "try" to achieve. They get respect even from the most unknowledgeable nondrug-users because these people have managed to beat the odds by willpower and have essentially succeeded in pulling their lives out of the deepest gutter imagineable.

Hope this helps you. When someone is still straddling the fence over "to quit, or not to quit" or is recently drug-free, these kinds of issues can be quite daunting and downright depressing. Just keep your head up and live one day at a time--hell, one minute at a time if necessary.
-DICK

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Thanks comprehensive post
	Astutely said, sir.

[chillinwill]

Red Rock was just pondering this question and his first initial response was that yes it is possible to lose the association of being an addict. Red Rock is over 8 months clean now from all opiates and hard drugs and considers himself clean. One thing that he thinks is important to mention is that someone's definition of addict and being clean & sober can vary from person to person. If Red Rock went into AA/NA and said that he has been clean from all drugs except psychedelics and alcohol occasionally, they would most certainly not consider him clean.

As for being able to lose the addict tag, it certainly is possible like Dick and PsychoActivist said in their posts. However, Red Rock just asked some good friends of his if they consider him an addict and they said yes and would always consider him one. They also mentioned though that it is important to distinguish between a practicing addict (active addict) and one that is clean & sober. To normal folks in society, this might be how they view addicts. Red Rock wouldn't know this since he is not a normal person in society but his definition is that someone could still be an addict based on their behavior even if they are clean and sober. If one is being sneaky, late, making excuses, etc, this could be the signs of one still using and such.

Over time, if one proves themselves to be a functional person in society and basically everything Dick covered, Red Rock believes that one can lose the addict tag. The only way to do that is to keep doing everything already said and time will change people's opinions of you. After a certain amount of time, people that knew you as an addict will probably not even think that anymore about you. They will just view you as you who is an outstanding citizen and such. If an addict starts reverting back to his old behaviors and ways then someone else might start viewing them as an addict. Hope this helps

[rogerrinseout]

Great posts/thread. 'It's much easier to gain a reputation than to lose one' but swim believes it's all part of the recovery process and coming out of the other side a stronger and more rounded individual. IswiMO.

[InstantKarma]

If you mean within your friends, swim thinks it is easier to lose the "addict" label amongst other users than with non-users. But like nearly everyone above me said, be consistent and over time people will realize swiy are serious.

[Lisa J]

SWIM stopped using heroin for 10 years but her (now ex) husband insisted on calling her a smackhead/gearhead/bagger etc almost every week, SWIM never stopped feeling like an addict because of this. SWIM returned to heroin as soon as the relationship was in trouble, had she been able to move on with her life she may not have returned to heroin so easily.

[Junkhead23]

SWIM feels almost like there isn't much point of quitting heroin because he feels he will always be classed as a useless addict loser anyway. So SWIM feels like he may as well use and keep to everyones expectations of him

[chillinwill]

^^That sounds like it could be an excuse to keep using. Has SWIY attempting to quit/has quit or are they still using? Red Rock knows he has used this excuse many times in the past when he really didn't want to quit using and didn't want to put forth the effort to quit as he was comfortable where he was using daily (as sick as that sounds) that is how he was.

[Richard_smoker]

^^^ Junk, do you even realize what you just said!???

you shouldn't even GIVE A FUCK about what someone else thinks if it's doing nothing for you but shoving your head down into the ground!

i mean, i'm sorry for putting it so bluntly--cuz i know where you're coming from...but jezus, how far down does the descent take us before we suddenly realize that it's our-fucking-SELVES that are listening to all the wrong voices!!!

i know it doesn't really seem like it at this point, but those people with bad intentions for you and the most-awful of intentions for your future are NOT the voice of recovery. There sure as hell not the voice of health and love and sparking a chord with your soul, and the movement for re-invigoration of your mind & body.

They're the voice of jealousy and pride and ignorance that feels a compulsive need to step on another guy's head to make themselves look taller. this idea--that somehow by blowing out another guy's candle will somehow make yours look brighter is what's terribly wrong and fucked up with the world in the first place. Believe me when i say that IF THERE IS A GOD, these people will be materials from whom the sewers in heaven will be lined with.

Your post reflects the very thought process that drives us to keep running back to the junk in the first place, cuz sometimes it's the only thing out there that doesn't judge us at all for what we really are or the appearances we maintain...it treats us all the exact same. rich or poor. successful or drop-out. mastermind or 'lost in space.' we are all useless addict losers. and fuckin proud of it as a matter of fact.

[dyingtomorrow]

Great thread / topic.

Of those people who knew you were a heroin addict, and those who heard rumors, SWIM thinks it is impossible to lose the stigma. Perhaps if you always seemed in control, and no one knows you ever stole anything, then you can regain their trust as if you were normal. If everyone knows you were a junkie and that you stole and did other shady things for heroin, SWIM doesn't think people will ever fully trust you again or think of you as not an addict.

It's just human nature to label people and create stereotypes. Heroin addiction and ex-heroin addiction is a topic people LOVE to gossip about. People just inherently to have things to bad mouth and feign "outrage" or dismay over to other people. It is one of the primary ways of social bonding among normal semi-conscious people, and a crutch people will use as something to blather about to other simps. As such, I don't think that it is possible to undo it, short of leaving the area and finding a whole new social group.

[Richard_smoker]

dyingtommorow, you are right about the human nature and gossiping about things like heroin.

However, that's one reason why it becomes so VITALLY IMPORTANT for the ex-junky to become active in his outward expression of life. He will not only gain tremendous strength and learn to get high off other things--including giving, sharing, living, being in the moment outside of his little shell...outside of hermitism. But the other effect that his life will have will be the peripheral conversion of other people's minds about what he is made of and WHO HIS IS.

one reason that it is so easy for people to talk about heroin addects behind their backs is because they're ALWAYS behind the addicts back!! the drug becomes an isolating tool in and of itself. eventually, the addict never wants to live out in the open again... it is a vicious cycle of anti-socialism that rears its head.