Doing cocaine all over again..

[lozmuir]

SWIM used to have a major cocaine addiction after a hard brake-up with a ex-gf. Eventually SWIM got himself another gf and quit cocaine for her and she later became his wife, got pregnant and SWIM was happy and didnt ever think about cocaine. SWIM's wife recently lost the baby and now SWIM has hit rock bottom and doing coke again (wife does not know). This maybe a pointless question but how does he regain the will-power to quit all over again?

SWIM is wired now too so please forgive him if he's not making sense.

Thanks.

[chillinwill]

Sorry to hear about the baby. That shit has definitely got to be tough. In terms of the addiction, how did SWIY quit their addiction before? It seemed to work until SWIY hit rock bottom. If one can do what they did before plus learn some new coping skills for how to deal with situations like that again, that could be really helpful in helping overcoming an addiction.

[ScorpioSunshine]

First, swim is so very sorry for swiy's loss. Swim can only imagine the pain that must bring.

Not making excuses for swiy's relapse, but swiy has endured something so unimaginably painful, it's really no wonder. Even under normal circumstance relapses are often part of recovery.

Swim would encourage swiy to:

1. Not be terribly hard on himself because of his relapse. Relapsing does not mean his life is over or that he can't recover again. Swiy can!

2. Swiy is sad and probably frustrated, and perhaps swiy thinks he has failed himself and his wife. Not true! Swiy is human.

3. Would it be possible for swiy to involve his wife to make it easier for swiy to recover? If she knows about his past, perhaps she would be more understanding than swiy thinks. Plus, swim thinks the support would be good for swiy. If not swiy's wife, then someone, anyone with whom swiy feels comfortable, and who can give swiy a good foundation to get help get back on recovery.

4. Again: Relapse does not equal failure!

5. Swiy would benefit from love and support.

6. No question is pointless -- swiy understands he has had a major trauma and has topped it off with a relapse, and now swiy probably feels like shit, but swiy is not a shitty person, ok?

7. Perhaps swiy and his wife could see a counselor (together or apart) to examine both the loss of their child and the relapse. They are two separate issues, but both are worthy of treatment. Many things can cause a relapse; trauma is one of them. Maybe even a support group would be prudent.

8. Swiy wants to stop using again, and that is a good sign. Can swiy just put down the drugs and stop? Swim knows this may be asking a lot, especially since swiy is using now. But perhaps swiy can write himself a letter on how horrible he feels at having relapsed and view it when he is sober. This is not to imply swiy is horrible for relapsing!

Swim is very tired and hopes she is making sense.... forgive swim if she's not.


There are many threads on here regarding recovery processes, relapses, etc. Swim is pretty new here, so hopefully an older member can find one.

Swim doesn't have all the answers, but she wishes the best for swiy. Expressing the desire to quit is such a positive move, and swim promises swiy can find many positive resources here.

Swim will see what she can find --she is heading to bed, but hold tight--others will be here. In the meantime, look for posts by Richard_Smoker and Dickon. You'll find some very inspiring writing.

[Msurfpro13]

swim is having a similar, but less serious problem. swim has a good household, but swims dad, and swims dads dad were both addicts, to alcohol, and both did drugs(swims pretty sure) so swim has an addictice personality, what are some constructive things swim should do to prevent his addiction to blow? which he is on right now! lol sry for the horrible spelling!
later-brewster

[ai]

cocaine addiction is alot like herpes. that's the way I look at it. it is not somethign that goes away, it has to be managed, even when there aren't "outbreaks".

becuase you have no idea when one will come and when that urge to use REALLY hits, it's too late. you have to be preimptive.

anything is possible, if swim wants it bad enough they will figure out how to stay clean. good luck and sorry for the loss

[ai]

one thing you have to remember, is that no matter how storng that urge is.. remember it's just that. an urge. you don't have to give in. you have to want it.

[AceOvArts]

SWIM must say that there are times when one seems to have no choice. Sometimes its not a matter of not giving in, if one is strong enough to not give in then maybe that person hasnt yet hit the depths low enough to trigger a relapse. Sometimes the brain just says f*ck it an nothing will stop relapse.
I guess part of the key is trying to increase time between relapses long enough to ultimately completely give up.