Side effects - Dreaming of Heroin

[dyingtomorrow]

SWIM has been on suboxone and off Heroin for 2 months now, with 4-5 episodes of cheating whenever he could get money.

Every fucking night that SWIM can remember his dreams, SWIM dreams that he either has heroin, or finds a couple $20 or $10 bills and is on his way to buy heroin. Every morning he has that second where his emotions from the dream bleed over, and he feels really happy and optimistic because he thinks he has heroin or money somewhere, and then is crushed a couple seconds later.

Anyone else constantly dream about nothing but heroin, or is SWIM just a freak? (you can say it )

Reputation Comments on this post:

	hilarious...dreams about dope plague me. just like when i'm awake ;/
	Great post swim relates big time

[tryptamaster]

swim never done h but has done many a opiate and bene offered h many times. one nite he dreampt of shooting into his hand and he nodded in his dream... creepy, when he woke up there was a red pin mark where he shot up in his dream... hes dreampt of other drugs contsantly too. ur not alone lol.

[klonopinz]

A friend of mine actually had the same thing happened to him, but with Oxy. After 2 years, from 30 to 200mg insufflated daily, he had to suddenly stop, cold turkey. Just like a gf that hurt you deeply, he would think about it constantly day and night. Whenever he had some doug, only 1 dolar bill will remain in his pocket at the end of that day.

He remembers, though, that one thing that helped him was to sit down and ponder: why oxy, and not any of the other thing he tried before or after. Why heroin, and not cocaine, or bars, or E's, or weed, etc. in your case? Availability, I suppose, but, really, other things are always available. Why that one?

[chillinwill]

When Red Rock first got on suboxone several years ago, he would often (almost every night) dream about going and getting heroin and then shooting up and what not and then he would wake up and realize he wasn't high and it would be very disappointing. The dreams finally started going away though after several months of being on suboxone and even then, they would still happen occasionally. Now at 7 1/2 months clean off all opiates, he very rarely, if ever, gets these kind of dreams

[TheContrivance]

SWIM was shooting cocaine and heroin on a daily basis for some time. When SWIM stopped he would dream about the shooting up ritual almost everyday, but it mostly involved cocaine. SWIM would feel high in the dream and sometimes woke up feeling high for a minute or so with his heart racing. This made it harder for SWIM to stop using, but SWIY has to just think that eventually these dreams, which in turn lead to cravings, WILL stop.

Reputation Comments on this post:

endearing ?

[teddybearpicnics]

Originally Posted by dyingtomorrow

SWIM has been on suboxone and off Heroin for 2 months now, with 4-5 episodes of cheating whenever he could get money.

Every fucking night that SWIM can remember his dreams, SWIM dreams that he either has heroin, or finds a couple $20 or $10 bills and is on his way to buy heroin. Every morning he has that second where his emotions from the dream bleed over, and he feels really happy and optimistic because he thinks he has heroin or money somewhere, and then is crushed a couple seconds later.

Anyone else constantly dream about nothing but heroin, or is SWIM just a freak? (you can say it )

dude swim knows he replies to your posts all the time, but no bullshit, swim has the same god damn dreams, excepts he never gets to use the dope he gets, for instance the other night, and about 35 other nights, swim has had this dream, where he gets like 5 bags, and then for some reason puts it in a cup, not a spoon, and then adds like a cup of water, and then tries to pull it up in the syringe, and it's obviously like 1/1000th of the liquid, and is like WTTTTFFFFFFF!!!! and then he wakes up and is SOOO PISSED. other dreams he always gets the dope, and is half way into mixing up, and then wakes up and is like...WWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTFFFFFFF!!! and then there's some when he gets the shit, and then does it, and is HIGHH, and then wakes up like 10 minutes later and is pissed because he had to wake up and not just enjoy the high...but the best ever are when swim has a dream about getting dope, and he got it, and it's going to be sooo good when he shoots it, and then before he can even get it out of his pocket, he wakes up, and for a second ::like you said:: thinks he still has it, but then realizes it was just a dream, and he is going to have to scheme and go drive to get it, and then wait, and then finally get to shoot up, instead of actually getting high as soon as he wakes up, which is personally the best way to live...

swim is sad that he can't wake up and do a bag or three as soon as he wakes up like he used to for about 3 years...money sucks.

although swim is going to wake up tomorrow, and go get 2 bags for himself and have a good day off...yessssss, just hope he doesn't have a dream about adding a gallon of water to 2 bags and trying to somehow desperately pull up one millionth of the solution. worst dreams ever.
.teddy

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by teddybearpicnics

dude swim knows he replies to your posts all the time, but no bullshit, swim has the same god damn dreams, excepts he never gets to use the dope he gets, for instance the other night, and about 35 other nights, swim has had this dream, where he gets like 5 bags, and then for some reason puts it in a cup, not a spoon, and then adds like a cup of water, and then tries to pull it up in the syringe, and it's obviously like 1/1000th of the liquid, and is like WTTTTFFFFFFF!!!! and then he wakes up and is SOOO PISSED. other dreams he always gets the dope, and is half way into mixing up, and then wakes up and is like...WWWWWWWWTTTTTTTTFFFFFFF!!! and then there's some when he gets the shit, and then does it, and is HIGHH, and then wakes up like 10 minutes later and is pissed because he had to wake up and not just enjoy the high...but the best ever are when swim has a dream about getting dope, and he got it, and it's going to be sooo good when he shoots it, and then before he can even get it out of his pocket, he wakes up, and for a second ::like you said:: thinks he still has it, but then realizes it was just a dream, and he is going to have to scheme and go drive to get it, and then wait, and then finally get to shoot up, instead of actually getting high as soon as he wakes up, which is personally the best way to live...

swim is sad that he can't wake up and do a bag or three as soon as he wakes up like he used to for about 3 years...money sucks.

although swim is going to wake up tomorrow, and go get 2 bags for himself and have a good day off...yessssss, just hope he doesn't have a dream about adding a gallon of water to 2 bags and trying to somehow desperately pull up one millionth of the solution. worst dreams ever.
.teddy

SWIM never gets to actually shoot up in his dreams, but he at least is happy for having it (or money). Sometimes, like last night (SWIM stole a bunch of heroin from this powerful dude, and got caught and had to give it back before he could shoot up), they are like what you describe; where something fucks it all up. SWIM has had the water problem before.

[doppey]

Swim used to get this with Oxycontin. Happened almost nightly for MONTHS after he quit. SWIM has dreamed of other drugs but not nearly with the frequency or persistence of the Oxy ones.

Still happens to him to this day but only once in a blue moon.

One funny one SWIM was at a yard sale for some reason. He was looking at an old cabinet that he was thinking of buying and when he opened it it was full of stuff and a few prescription bottles. The lady came up and said. "I didn't bother to clean it out so you can have all the stuff inside too." Swim saw that one bottle was about half full of 80's.

After somehow loading the cabinet into a car and getting back SWIM opened the bottle of Oxy's and when they fell out onto the table they all turned to a brown moldy substance before his eyes.

He set off to the computer to see if this was possible and what the dangers of eating this mold would be, LOL!, No word of a lie.

Upon waking he had a deep sense of shame hanging over his head, lol.

Peace,
J

[warandhate]

WORST DREAMS EVER.

Swim has had these about almost every drug hes tried. Some of the time the dreams dont have drugs in them and instead swim has a pocket full of cash and is on the way to pick up a sack. Most of the time its about cocaine or oxycontin. But sometimes in the dream the drugs arent even drugs he knows but random multicolored pills that swim has in a giant bottle and just feels great that he has them. Then swim wakes up and all he has is that lemonlime flavored orange hexagon to put under his tounge. Very depressing. But like all the other posts say, after awhile the dreams go away. So stay strong.

[doppey]

^^^ True say. Once your mind is on other things so will be your dreams. Setting some goals will give your mind some other things to focus on and your dreams will probably switch to the attainment of those.

[cuddlesthefox]

Swim has been on an d off the gear for 20 years! Fuck swim feels old... then again swim could have started early. But what it is, is that heroin dreams have just stayed with me forever and increase in intensity when off the stuff. Swim supposes once you've had a wonderful or conversely a very bad experience, they become part of the stuff etched in your sub-concious and are prime candidates for influencing your dreams.
Swim loves them for most of the time and hates waking up to nothing when he's clean.
Swim advocates everyone should stay strong if you are trying to clean up. Personally, the way swim looks at it is he's lowering his tolerance for when he starts again! It's a pretty sick way of thinking and drug counsellors all over the world will be flipping out over the keyboards but whatever keeps you going swim reckons.
To be honest, the dreams help swim. If swim thought that he would never again experience smack then I think swim would give up.
However, heroin will kill, mentally, financially and physically you in the end and this is why people tend to stay clean of the stuff. Sadly swim is far too fucked up to change forever and would like to serve as a warning to younger users as to what can happen to you. Pop in and have a look at swims profile or read some of his posts to see how far you can fall from grace. Or just pop in... I've got some lovely cute puppies you can stroke and all the sweeties you can eat... and don't worry, I have to be naked for medical reasons.

Reputation Comments on this post:

oh you are good

[Junkhead23]

Shit what did he do you to you SWIYDT?

[tryptamaster]

in swims dreams he like actually feels high too....lol hes never done h but he gets the nod and warmth like other opiates/opiods hes done. and he also wakes up and it takes a minute for him to realize it ws only a dream...

[klonopinz]

Originally Posted by tryptamaster

in swims dreams he like actually feels high too....lol hes never done h but he gets the nod and warmth like other opiates/opiods hes done. and he also wakes up and it takes a minute for him to realize it ws only a dream...

Swim sees this as the incredible power our brain has. Swiys brain will get what it wants, and naturally produce that which it's missing to replicate the expected effects of activities you consciously and consistently perform (repeated untampered dosing). Likewise, placebos unleash the same power. Swim has read numerous times about studies involving placebo and drug abusers that show intriguing results. Swim encourages swiy to read too.

Opiates simply (actually, it's veeeery complex) play around with your brains connections and connectors. That is, the neurons and the neurotransmitters. However, Swim read somewhere that the neurotransmitter that consistently plays a key role in addiction and habituation is just one, which comes from the seek-and-reward behavior hardwired in our brain (dopamine, anyone).

Maybe swiy, after consistently providing an unnatural balance of neuron connectivity and neurotransmitters, got his brain accostumed to it, eventually forming a "new" balance. Maybe when Swiy stopped the drug intake (which made him stop going through the situation of getting it, using it, and thus stopping the feeling of getting a reward out of it) this new balance dissapeared and swiys brain is slowly reverting back (slowly but surely) to that natural balance. Since this is all done conciously, your subconcious and unconcious, followed the reward-seeking lead. Now, that you changed back to normal, your brain has begun to actively reorganize (withdrawal). Yet, our unconcious and subconcious will keep working thinking that the unbalance still exists or is desired, and trying to mantain the effects the unnatural balance caused when present.

Finally, Swin would like to note that some, if not most of the swiy posting have dreams that, no matter the drug, mainly focus, not on the drug itself, but in the actions/items/places involved with the drug you crave.

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by Junkhead23

Shit what did he do you to you SWIYDT?

Well it was kind of weird. He had this stash of bags of beautiful brown heroin (which looked just like the image on the "Swiss Vote For Legal Heroin"-whatever news article, except "dimebag size"). It was SWIM, the H having dude, and this other person who was a scumbag. The H guy was some kind of drug boss like I said, and he was probably going to give SWIM some bags later. SWIM and the other dude found his stash and took some. The boss guy found out and just made SWIM empty his pockets and took it all back, and was pissed so he probably wasn't going to give SWIM any bags like he would have if SWIM just waited. We went looking for the other guy.

SWIM has never got a shot of heroin off and doubts he could. SWIM can make himself lucid dream (wake up and control dreams) any time there is a clock or watch which randomly shows up in his dreams (will tell the technique if anyone is interested), but when he doesn't, he can NEVER do anything he has a strong desire to do. Like, the second most prevalent thing to happen to SWIM next to getting heroin/heroin money, is for SWIM to be alone with some beautiful girl who he wants to have sex with, but a fucking million little things won't go right so he never can. Like the TV won't turn off, he can't turn off light switches, he can't close the door so other people can't see, etc. So SWIM is pretty sure that something as complex as shooting up is totally out of the question.

[Junkhead23]

Originally Posted by dyingtomorrow

Well it was kind of weird. He had this stash of bags of beautiful brown heroin (which looked just like the image on the "Swiss Vote For Legal Heroin"-whatever news article, except "dimebag size"). It was SWIM, the H having dude, and this other person who was a scumbag. The H guy was some kind of drug boss like I said, and he was probably going to give SWIM some bags later. SWIM and the other dude found his stash and took some. The boss guy found out and just made SWIM empty his pockets and took it all back, and was pissed so he probably wasn't going to give SWIM any bags like he would have if SWIM just waited. We went looking for the other guy.

SWIM has never got a shot of heroin off and doubts he could. SWIM can make himself lucid dream (wake up and control dreams) any time there is a clock or watch which randomly shows up in his dreams (will tell the technique if anyone is interested), but when he doesn't, he can NEVER do anything he has a strong desire to do. Like, the second most prevalent thing to happen to SWIM next to getting heroin/heroin money, is for SWIM to be alone with some beautiful girl who he wants to have sex with, but a fucking million little things won't go right so he never can. Like the TV won't turn off, he can't turn off light switches, he can't close the door so other people can't see, etc. So SWIM is pretty sure that something as complex as shooting up is totally out of the question.

I would like to know the technique of controlling dreams DT. SWIM knows it is something to do with finding your anchor which is somehing that always appears in your dreams but SWIM has never noticed something that always pops up.

[dyingtomorrow]

Originally Posted by Junkhead23

I would like to know the technique of controlling dreams DT. SWIM knows it is something to do with finding your anchor which is somehing that always appears in your dreams but SWIM has never noticed something that always pops up.

The trick, simply put, is to forget the certainty of the waking world, and get in the habit of checking if you are dreaming while you are awake. For me, it was always the watch (before I pawned it for heroin), and I still do it with clocks and sometimes text; look at it, turn away, and look at it again. If it changes, you know you are dreaming. Clocks I think are the best thing to make the association with.

[waltz#2]

SWIM has crazy dreams too. SWIM has never done H, but will deal with pods on occasion. One dream SWIM was walking in an abandoned parking lot and on the edge were giant plants. As SWIM got closer he realized the nearest one was a giant poppy, The flowers petals were like flags flopping in the breeze and one could not reach their arms around the stalk. There was a whole row of them along this parking lot and a few of the pods were ready to be harvested. The pods were unreal, so big and heavy that the whole plant leaned under their weight, greens and purple blues. SWIM's jaw just hung open looking at all of them, then they woke up.

SWIM has other dreams, normally very intense. SWIM should keep track of when they come on, they only have treats every few weeks or so.

[dyingtomorrow]

SWIM had the best H / drug dream he has ever had.

SWIM last night dreamt he was in some urban area, and ran into another opiate (but not heroin) junkie going through this well organized "garbage" outside a medical facility. The guy had tons and tons of different kinds of opiate pills he was pulling out. SWIM asked him what he was doing, even though he figured it out instantly, and the guy told him that in the garbages at hospitals there are tons of awesome drugs you can just get.

SWIM didn't interfere with the guy's pill pulling business out of courtesy (it was probably $50,000 worth of pills the guy had found), but the guy helped him find some liquid K which he always has wanted to try, particularly for heroin withdrawals, as well as some liquid morphine (awesome score) and greater than 1 CC needles (which SWIM also always wanted, since you can only get 1 CC needles max OTC in most states in the USA). The morphine required some kind of weird needle to shoot it which SWIM did and it was a weird orange color. SWIM didn't really get high off it, even though in the past SWIM's dreams have very accurately replicated certain drug feelings. The liquid Ketamine was in this HUGE needle which apparently you just shot up IM little by little and had dosing marks, but SWIM didn't try it. The doctor at this facility kind of found out what SWIM was doing and asked him not to do it, but he was also compassionate about SWIM's pain and life, and decided he wouldn't change anything or make it so SWIM couldn't get the drugs from there anymore.

SWIM in real life used to live in this highrise condo in Chicago up until very recently, and he dreamt it was like a 2-towered type building that connected in the lobby, and on the other side was this huge heroin dealer. The dealer was quitting the business, and gave SWIM just shitloads of bagged heroin for free. The heroin was actually of crappy quality though, so bad that it was barely heroin and SWIM didn't want to try it. Throughout the rest of the dream, which lasted a long time, SWIM kept bumping into people who were giving him lots of heroin, just handfuls of bags and foils, all of which was good quality except the huge mega load he got from the dealer. He was trying to take the elevator up to his place (which moved horizontally thru the building as well as vertically), so he could shoot up, but never could get there.

SWIM semi-woke a couple times, but didn't figure out what reality was fully those times, and was SOOO fucking happy and contented with life he could cry. It was like heaven.

You can only imagine how fucking disappointing waking up after this was.

[msmogadon]

To SWIM it seems the actual act of shooting up and getting the feeling never happens. This is always the case for SWIM and has been the cause of many a relapse cause of the feeling of thinking she was getting it

p s thats one cool dream dyingtomorrow

[BudGreen18]

no not a freak, swim hasnt even tried it and is dreaming of it! swim is going to get some v sooooooonn

[stephy171072]

Swim thought she was alone with this, nice to know shes not! Swims dreams torment her. Swim is always dreaming of the stuff she wants but can't have. Such as the heroin dreams... some of the worst swim had was when she would wake up sick and need to go out to score but feel really awful then she would fall back asleep and dream about getting up feeling sick and dragging on the clothes and going out and everything and it was like torture but swim would finally get the stuff and bring it back to her room and then wake up and find out none of that really happned and now swim had to go out and do it for real!

stephy171072 added 1 Minutes and 29 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by stephy171072

Swim thought she was alone with this, nice to know shes not! Swims dreams torment her. Swim is always dreaming of the stuff she wants but can't have. Such as the heroin dreams... some of the worst swim had was when she would wake up sick and need to go out to score but feel really awful then she would fall back asleep and dream about getting up feeling sick and dragging on the clothes and going out and everything and it was like torture but swim would finally get the stuff and bring it back to her room and then wake up and find out none of that really happned and now swim had to go out and do it for real!

Swim finds it's the same with lots of things really. Like swim has struggled with an eating disorder for quite some time now and on the nights she would go to bed without food or had not eaten in a while she would dream about it every night.

[Lightbulb-breaking]

Swim has discussed this sorta deal many times with his friends it happens to tons of people who are coming off drugs, or are set on thinking about drugs, it really screws with you. Swim's lovely lady friend was IV Hydromorphone, which is blissfully close to heroin. Swim's girlfriend at the time pressured him to quit it all for good so he tried and tried and he almost had it but the relationship didn't work out and the calling was too loud to be ignored. Swim still has those dreams were you wake up to realise that at the foot of your bed there is a neatly wrapped parcel full of already prepared hydromorphone. But then you really come to and your still in this shitter minus the copius amounts of free drugs.

[dyingtomorrow]

Where are they now:

SWIM has not done H in over 2 months, but dreams of it every 2 days or so. Also, on a positive note, SWIM had a dream about a week ago where he actually snorted some heroin and got the perceived effects. Granted it wasn't as good as shooting (which he can never seem to do in a dream), but he was stilll happy.

[m.swinehart81]

Swim cannot count how many dreams he has had that revolved around drugs. Mostly H though. When he was younger he was arrested and put on probation after serving 2 years in jail. When he got out he kept having dreams that he was smoking pot and then would wake up scared as fuck that he was going to fail a piss test and get sent back to jail. Looking back on that swim now thinks it was pretty funny.
As far as dreams concerning H go though swims dreams seem to be alot like swiy's. He usually gets to cop the dope but never actually gets high in his dream. He then wakes up feeling disapointed. At that point he usually just gets high although there have been a few "sober" times in his life where he was just left there wanting that warm embrace...