Opinions - Indulging without partner...

[frenchywife]

For those SWIY who are in a relationship, and both parties use, is it okay to partake while partner is away? SWIM likes to and does do it - is this wrong? SWIM's partner doesn't like it and usually gets mad, but SWIM does it anyway - is partner right for getting mad? SWIM doesn't see the big deal - thoughts?

[old hippie 56]

Never bother the old cowboy either, partake with them or without them.

[samsa]

Swim has to admit that he has at one time or another been both parties in an event such as this. While it's understandable that he would be upset that you use alone, it also should not be an issue. Chances are he is simply envious that he cannot be alongside you to play along. Swims advice would be to go ahead and use when you feel like it, he doesn't need to know. But he is a morally corrupt person

[guldenat]

Honestly, that sounds like something the two of you need to workout on your own. Perhaps his reaction is irrational, but is using whenever you please worth all the friction? Swim isn't so sure... communicate with each other and figure it out, rather than saying "Screw you I'm going to do what I want."

[General Grievous]

swiy is right. lots of people are like that and it comes to a jealousy thing. but wtf is swiy suppose to only do drugs with swit? and never alone in his/her mind? thats selfish of them...its not you its THEM

[Politicalchalk]

Swim supposes an exception could be made if both of you chipped in for the same stash, but it really ought not to be an issue in Swim's opinion. However, Swim doesn't partake in stimulants and doesn't know the intricacies of the world of cocaine --> also, keep in mind that marks the transition from "social user" to using alone. Swim's seen lots of friends lives be ruined with this drug, so be careful.

[Nahbus]

Swims advice would be to go ahead and use when you feel like it, he doesn't need to know.

This is a horrible idea and will surely lead to the end of a relationship.
Just be honest with each other. I mean, CAN SWIY go without using while he is around? If not, maybe he does have a right to be mad, perhaps you are displaying an addictive personality, and him being mad is just his way of letting you know he doesnt think what you are doing is right.
If SWIY CAN go without using while he is away, would it bother you to NOT use while he is not there?
For a healthy relationship, especially one that involves both people using an addictive substance, both people must be completely honest about their use. Simply hiding the fact of doing it is cause for concern because if you weren't doing anything wrong, there would be no reason to lie.
But if it's just simply something you like to do now and then, and he just so happens to not be there, tell him that. Just try to get him to understand that you aren't doing anything bad with other people for it or messing up the relationship, it's just something you like doing here and there.
It could also be him who has a potential problem. It's hard to tell what's really going on by just your post, but he could be having irrational anger against you doing it because of some underlying problem with himself and the substance.

Hard to say from your post, but no matter what you do, don't just start using it and lying to him. That will absolutely lead to something bad happening.
Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, so if you really love this person, be completely open and honest and do your best to work out this problem you are having.
Hope this helps!

[frenchywife]

Originally Posted by Nahbus

This is a horrible idea and will surely lead to the end of a relationship.
Just be honest with each other. I mean, CAN SWIY go without using while he is around? If not, maybe he does have a right to be mad, perhaps you are displaying an addictive personality, and him being mad is just his way of letting you know he doesnt think what you are doing is right.
If SWIY CAN go without using while he is away, would it bother you to NOT use while he is not there?
For a healthy relationship, especially one that involves both people using an addictive substance, both people must be completely honest about their use. Simply hiding the fact of doing it is cause for concern because if you weren't doing anything wrong, there would be no reason to lie.
But if it's just simply something you like to do now and then, and he just so happens to not be there, tell him that. Just try to get him to understand that you aren't doing anything bad with other people for it or messing up the relationship, it's just something you like doing here and there.
It could also be him who has a potential problem. It's hard to tell what's really going on by just your post, but he could be having irrational anger against you doing it because of some underlying problem with himself and the substance.

Hard to say from your post, but no matter what you do, don't just start using it and lying to him. That will absolutely lead to something bad happening.
Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship, so if you really love this person, be completely open and honest and do your best to work out this problem you are having.
Hope this helps!

Yes - it does help - thanks for everyone's advice! Yes, SWIM can go without using when he is around even when he isn't it's not all the time. SWIM and partner had a talk and he said he just worries about her and just wants to make sure she is okay and is in a safe place. SWIM totally understands and she reassured him to not let it get out of hand.

[Nahbus]

See! Can you imagine how that would have went if SWIY decided to just "not tell him" and he found out? Glad to hear SWIY is working it out.
Good luck

[AceOvArts]

SWIM finds this crops up alot with cocaine, I dont understand why the jealosy thing come into it unless the drug flicks some switches in the brain. SWIMs relationship went through it also. unfortunately SWIMs wife has a bigger problem in that she gets nasty after a few drinks.
For SWIM though, he did do it behind his wifes back and this IS bad for the relashionship, one should ALWAYS be totally open and the truth be sacred.
However, nobody told this to cocaine and she can be a very persuading bitch !