did cocaine again after a year!

[Sniffin Sunshine]

So swim was addicted to coke for about half a year. Now it has been almost exactly a year since she has done it which was a great accomplishment for her.

swim is now a somewhat frequent user of oxycodone.. but ah thats a different story

well anyway swim was hanging out at a party with her roxy dealer who also happens to do coke. At the party he said hey you wanna do a couple lines? and swim thought, well, its been a year, and its only a little bit so.. ok why not.

the thing is, swim says that it was really good stuff and she was high like the first time again, but the best part is that its been a couple days now and swim didnt start fiending for it at any point like she would have in the old days. she was actually able to enjoy it without compultion, and a year and a half ago when she first did it she was completely hooked instantly.

now my question is.. do you think its possible for an ex addict to learn from the experiance enough to be able to enjoy coke (very occasionally im talking here) without becomeing a fiend again?
or is that just a bad idea waiting to happen.
does anyone know anyone who has been able to do this with any drug they were once addicted to?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Well done for asking before it went any further. Also for remembering to SWIM properly.

[infekt]

sounds like a bad idea waiting to happen. Though I'm not really of the mindframe that "once an addict, always addict", it really depends on how much you have learned from your clean time. The fact that swiy is doing oxycodone frequently kind of makes this whole thing look like a bad idea.

besides...the statistics aren't really on your side. But swim does not know swiy, and swiy might just be fine. Maybe it was just a phase? I don't know..

[Salvinorin A]

It's a bad idea........plain and simple.

Cocaine is addictive and it will eventually hook back. SWIY mentions oxycodone? This seems that swiy isn't even really off the coke, it seems more like a replacement. (Keep in mind that's just an assumption that swim is making based on the info presented...this may not be the case at all).

SWIM has a similar story. SWIM was addicted to DXM for a good amount of time. And stopped. Exactly one year, to the day, that swim did his last DXM trip, he said....sure why the hell not.

Turns out that that experience was magical (not only because of the dxm...but cus he combined with another drug and blah blah....it's really irrelevent). However, swim immediately received thoughts of further use. SWIM said...this isn't so bad....as long as swim does it once a month, this would be okay.

This next part though...may only be characteristic of DXM: the next morning (the typical dxm hangover)...swim not only felt the physical pain from dxm use....he somehow remembered EXACTLY what it felt like to be addicted to DXM....and he remembered the promise to himself the year before that he'd never suffer that misery again. All the depressing thoughts and physical pains came back that morning.

SWIM hasn't touched it yet, even though he has been around DXM very often (helping friends prepare it). SWIM's very glad that he is not using it, much happier than when he is using it. But cocaine is MUCH easier to get hooked back into. It's very hard to use it responsibly when it's available.

Another reason why swim brings up replacement....swim may have quit DXM...but he's definitely been doing other drugs in between....luckily those replacements are not addictive. But it's not the issue..........the issue is being addicted to DRUG USE....not the drug itself.

Being addicted to DRUG USE and to an addictive drug (like cocaine) is definitely a bad idea waiting to happen. Please, fight with everything you have - the urge, and swiy will be glad she did.

Good luck,
Sal-A

[MrG]

Originally Posted by Sniffin Sunshine

do you think its possible for an ex addict to learn from the experiance enough to be able to enjoy coke (very occasionally im talking here) without becomeing a fiend again?

No, absolutely not.

This isn't anything to do with being an ex-addict and everything to do with the consumption of cocaine and how its occasional use can easily end up becoming more frequent.

Look at how you start the thread:

Originally Posted by Sniffin Sunshine

well anyway swim was hanging out at a party with her roxy dealer who also happens to do coke.

So let me get this straight, SWIY was a coke-fiend, quits coke and replaces it with Roxy's and, whilst hanging out with her dealer ( again!, never hang out with a dealer - its like letting a chick spend the day with Jimmy Choo!) she, casually, figures that it'll be fine to do it, just this once.

So it felt great.

But she'll only do it now and then.

So she starts doing it now and then.

Then she starts finding she is making excuses for hanging out with her dealer more often.

Do you see where this is heading?

It's not about will-power, its about cocaine's mode of action with dopamine making it awfully easy to excuse having a "party" more often than one may have originally intended to allow.

That is what causes the fiending. Dopamine.

Just because someone is an ex-addict it does not mean that they gain some sort of black-art-ninja-skill in quitting drugs.

It meant that they couldn't handle it the first time and now they are asking if they should go back for more!

[MiMoMo]

Oh MrG,
Being from the backwoods, SWIM had to look up the who about Choo and shoe. Might SWIM's bias for farm boots insulate him against Choo's lure? Because SWIM, "He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day, I chop down trees, I wear high heels..." Oops! Guess not...

Seriously, after honoring 2 years of narcocelibacy last month, visions of a "controlled burn" shimmer, a beckoning mirage on SWIM's horizon. MonsieurG's profound bluntness rivals only Nag's disdain on the idea of welcoming back cocaine. Deep thanks. With help of this thread, SWIM's desert trek is made safer by revealing a deadly watering hole at that shimmering oasis, SWIM's black-art-ninja-skill notwithstanding.

[MrG]

What with you and Dickon raising the linguistic bar around here these days, we might be able to lift ourselves out of the mire that is "American English" and actually advance to proper "British English".

Well done for that!

Look, TBH SWIM once found himself in the beginnings of a coke-habit which, had he not swapped coke+alcohol for coke+GHB, he may have ended up having to make an effort to sort himself out. Instead, due to the nature of the GHB, he completely lost the fiend and can honestly take or leave the columbian marching powder. In fact he went off it completely and has even turned it down on a number of occasions, not because he felt he should or that he was making an effort to stay of it but simply because he couldn't be bothered with it.

But he knows full well that, had he not started his experimentation with GHB, he would likely be in the same position as the OP, having to stay off it and having to make an effort to stay off it.

[chillinwill]

Just going to give my 2 cents here....I think its definitely in SWIY's best interest to say away from it entirely....Red Rock is an ex opiate addict and had a 4-5 month stint with daily IV cocaine use and definitely thinks that although SWIY was able to do it once after a year and feel the great feelings of cocaine without the fiending, that very quickly like Mr. G said, SWIY will start making excuses to hang out with the dealer or other friends that have the powder. Also, even though I don't know your whole situation, I would have to agree with the other people that it sounds like you might have replaced your cocaine addiction with Roxy's. Therefore, even though you weren't doing the cocaine, you still had something to revert back to to use to get high. I think that if one were to start doing cocaine again, it would just be asking for trouble

Reputation Comments on this post:

Very True

[Sniffin Sunshine]

yes swim does believe you all are right. swim would love to think she could do cocaine again without slipping back into addiction, but the truth is she has an addictive personality. She has always been a functioning addict; able to maintain a job and otherwise healthy lifestyle. (the coke addiction was an acception to this)

Thussly, the roxys may not be a cocaine replacement per say, but definately something she is using to fill a bottemless hole since she has always been slipping in and out of addictions.

This makes her realize she was rediculous to even propose the idea of not getting re-addicted to coke; The drug that she had the worst addiction she's ever had to. wishful thinking more than anything i suppose, because swim really does love the dang stuff, yet she hates it at the same time.

But thank you all for snapping swim back to reality, because hearing it from all of you really helped her take a step back, and see things the way they really are.