A New (better) Life

[AngelEyes]

I have only joined this forum today and already am shocked...is this forum to help people get off drugs or to help them grow them?



I am a 23 year old Christian girl who is now Married and has an amzing Husband, life and home.



When I was 16 I made friends with and moved in with a group of people, being unpopular at highschool, I was eager to join there group without hesitation. At first I only smoked dope with them, it made me feel free, free from all my problems.

About a month later I was in bed trying to sleep when I heard a knock at the door, someone answered it and then I heard a group of people talking loudly...exitedly, unable to sleep with all the noise I decided to get up and find out what was happening.



My flatmated were sitting around the table with two guys I'd never seen before, as I joined them I noticed they had a spoon and syringes layed out before them. Never had I been exposed to this before and I was shocked but also curious.



They asked me to join them, so I did and I watched in facination as they mixed up on a spoon, when I asked what it was they told me "Heroin, want to try some?"

I was afraid of needles so I said I would smoke some, they gave me a small amount of white powder on a peice of foil and I moved to the loungeroom to take it.



At first I felt nothing but a few seconds later a total calm filled my body, I relaxed completely and felt so content with everything that nothing seemed to matter.



About a month later I walked in on them injecting their Heroin, I had mine but smoking it just wasn't enough anymore, so I asked one of the guys to inject me. Instantly I felt as I had the first time only this time it was intensified and was such a strong feeling that I couldn't hold my self up and fell to my knees.



From then on it became a regular thing for me...almost a ritual but soon an addiction.



I started dating one of the dealers in the house and much to my mothers horror agreed to move to Sydney with him.



In Sydney things pretty much stayed the same...except for my addiction which intensified as it's grip on me grew stronger. I not only needed it or wanted it...I felt I would kill for it.

I started dancing to pay for my habit and even though it was a high class and well paying club, I found it difficult to keep up when my body was wasting away (I was 47kg)



Things pretty much stayed the same until one year my mother and brothers came to visit me, I could see the shock and the hurt in there eyes when they saw me and even through my drug haze I felt hurt and ashamed.



After they left I tried many things , methadone, cold turkey...but nothing seemed to work. We decided to risk it and go home.



Once back, we soon found a dealer and continued on in our addictions. We were both living with my Mother at this time but she soon got suspicious of Him and told him he had to go.

Once he'd moved out it didn't take long for me to realise I didn't and never did love him.



There was a big drug bust and my dealer could no longer get Heroin so I asked one of my firends what she was going to do and she reffered me to a doctor who gave out Morphine.



At first I used it in replacement of heroin but I soon realised that if I cut down on it I could jump off. It took me 6 months and wasn't easy at all but I finally did it!



I have now been drug free for about 4 years and I couldn't be happier....when I look back, I realise I'm lucky to be alive...I have overdosed so many times I have lost count. I know everyones different but I thank God because I know I wouldn't have survived without His help.



If anyone wishes to talk to me about anything please feel free, I know it's hard to talk to counselors who don't have a clu what it's like to withdraw from Heroin.



I just hope this helps someone.

[AngelEyes]

^Bump^