No more whizzinator

[100mg Methylphenidate]

Sooooooo swim was about to buy a whizzinator in a week or so. But guess what?

"On October 14, federal prosecutors in Pittsburgh won a 19-count indictment against the owners of Puck Technology, maker of the Whizzinator, for fraud and selling drug paraphernalia.[2] Prosecutors allege that by manufacturing and selling the Whizzinator, company president Gerald Wills and vice president Robert Catalano conspired to defraud the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, which administers federal workplace drug testing programs. The government is seeking forfeiture of all of the company's assets, as well as all of its Internet domain names. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the owners are expected to plead guilty.[3]"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whizzinator

Their site is already shut down and everything. And they aren't sold anywhere else online that swim can find. Now, there is the urinator...another similar product. But fuck that. The whizzinator guaranteed that it'd keep the urine warm for at least 8 hours. The urinator says 4. And it's electronic, meaning, it's probably going to break faster like everything else these days, becasue companies have learned that if they make their products too good, people won't need to buy another one anytime soon.

Swim needs something he can take with him to work every day and last the whole day. Or at least on days where he knows he'll fail a piss test. Once he starts his new job, he's not exactly sure how often they drug test, or if it's just pre-employment. So if he gets 2 days off and does some amphetamines, he'll need to wear it to work for a good 3 more days just to be safe. At least until he finds out how their drug testing works for sure. (He's not about to just ask and he wasn't paying attention because he had to fill out his paperwork sorta fast.)

Plus, the urinator doesn't have a prosthetic penis, it just has a tube, which would be more risky than just whipping out a fake shlong. How come all of this bullshit has to keep happening? Ugh. Damn our govenment.

Oh well. At least swim is going to finally have medical insurance and go on his quest for an addy script

Reputation Comments on this post:

Thanks for the whizzinator news. :-(