Side effects - Advice on my life right now

[juanthedon]

hey everyone, swim has been lurking here for quite some time to educate swimself or to just catch a quick read.

to start off, swim is looking for people's advice because swim believes his mind is clouded. sort of like getting a second opinion when you don't want to believe what your doctor says.

swim is 17(+1 to post here). when he thinks about his life, he thinks it's so great, and he loves where he has gotten himself. but the thoughts feel so empty, sort of like they're just illusions brought on by cannabis.

so swim finally got his license, something he had put off for quite some time. he got a job, and someone fronted him some green to sell. everything seems like it is going well, and people like swim, so his attitude is optimistic.

he feels empty though. he is afraid that he has turned into a lifeless druggie, he has become pretty lazy, but that's usually because he's high.
even now, he is having trouble keeping his thoughts together while i write this for him. he describes most of his time as being spent feeling "detached", and a lot of the time the world seems surreal.

to sum up, my question is:
am i tricking myself into thinking all is well, only to take a huge hit sometime soon, and end up in rehab? or is my http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G272iYvxW_w ?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Must be 18 to post in these forums. Watch self incrimination too.

[sunyata]

Like they say, if you have to ask....

It would be advisable to take a break from the green and see how you feel about it when you're sober. If you can't/won't quit completely at least take a small break just to get your mind sorted.
Maybe there is something else you really want to do with your life.
In swims humble experience cannabis can make you focus on areas of your life that are "not right".

Were the feelings of detachment and emptiness there before you started smoking or did they come after?

If they were there from before I assume the cannabis is only amplifying it and, obviously, is not the problem itself. That doesn't mean that it won't help to take a break.

Write some more, if you can, it is a little hard to comment further without knowing more.

Welcome to the forum we are here to help.

BTW, the world seems surreal because it is, IMO.

Reputation Comments on this post:

excellent advise! took the words right out of my mouth.

[juanthedon]

hey sunyata, thanks for responding

swim never felt detatched or spacey before he started toking heavily, and i've been thinking, it really isn't as big of an issue as i thought it had been.

i'm just worried i'll develop some sort of condition, like psychosis or schizophrenia, although i don't know if it is even possible haha

[hertonsils]

If swim is still doing things such as getting his license than he is not just a useless druggie. Drugs are all about perception, smoking pot doesn't make you useless.

[Nature Boy]

You shouldn't allow cannabis to become a bane on your life. It is something to be enjoyed by those who enjoy it, that's all. Every single individual thinks that they have some kind of problem. If I was in the position where I felt detached from reality and the common man's amusement, I would feel glad. It's so easy to dwell on menial little problems when you don't have any larger problems. So many people have to deal with so many problems. In the words of Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson:

Don't want to be a fat man,
have not the patience to ignore all that.
Hate to admit to myself half of my problems
came from being fat.

Whether you're fat or not, those lyrics hold some ground. People will always choose something to blame half of their problems on. SWIM has done this and now looks back and laughs at it. There's no point dwelling on the shitty aspects of life. We all go through ups and downs, these emotional states switching and swapping all the time. It's human nature.

[Euthanatos93420]

Yeah, who you are is defined by your choices in life and Marijuana isn't the evil it's made out ot be.

If you use your profits to party and waste your time getting and forgettintg about your life....well....that's exactly who you will be....someone who parties all the time and doesn't knwo who he is. You don't need drugs to do that btw and it's those choices that define who you are not your tools (MJ).

If you use your profits to support your education/training so you can become something else then that's who you will be. Educate yourself about safe drug/distrobution practices and don't talk business without anyone who isn't directly business. Be fairly paranoid and know when to lay low. The streetwise you learn will be a relatively profitable background along with providing you several good contacts later in life should you need them.

Always have cash in bank and in the couch. Never get yourself in debt in over your head or you'll find yourself doing things you wouldn't normally do. That's not dope that's DEBT. (Says a lot about our society and economy when you realize that too...)

If you feel HOLLOW at your age....THAT'S A GOOD THING! At your age you should have rooom inside to define yourself....that hollow feeling is called potential. You can put whatever the fuck you want into the hole. Educate yourself about the decisions you will make and then make an informed decision about who you want to be and then become that. Define yourself. If you didn't have that hollow feeling it would be because someone had handed you a definition. That wouldn't be you anyway it would just be someone else telling you who you are and ten years later you won't know who you are just who you are following.

Excellent taste in music btw. If your intelligent enough to know Good rap with meaningful lyrics apart from that pop bullshit churned out by a greedy industry I'd say you're more than intelligent enough to make decisions for yourself.

The key is this, you have to CREATE options....they don't just happen. You don't find them...they don't find you...that's hollywood mythology. You create your own reality. Make your own choices. Think about what inspires you....associate and brainstorm from there...get creative....you'll know it when it hits you. it's called intuition.

[Herbal Healer 019]

Originally Posted by juanthedon

hey everyone, swim has been lurking here for quite some time to educate swimself or to just catch a quick read.

to start off, swim is looking for people's advice because swim believes his mind is clouded. sort of like getting a second opinion when you don't want to believe what your doctor says.

swim is 17(+1 to post here). when he thinks about his life, he thinks it's so great, and he loves where he has gotten himself. but the thoughts feel so empty, sort of like they're just illusions brought on by cannabis.

so swim finally got his license, something he had put off for quite some time. he got a job, and someone fronted him some green to sell. everything seems like it is going well, and people like swim, so his attitude is optimistic.

he feels empty though. he is afraid that he has turned into a lifeless druggie, he has become pretty lazy, but that's usually because he's high.
even now, he is having trouble keeping his thoughts together while i write this for him. he describes most of his time as being spent feeling "detached", and a lot of the time the world seems surreal.

to sum up, my question is:
am i tricking myself into thinking all is well, only to take a huge hit sometime soon, and end up in rehab? or is my http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G272iYvxW_w ?

Well SWIy said their outlook on life is optimistic, which is good. A friend of a friend was once in the same mindset as SWIy describes, from when he was 16 until now at age 19. This all started from when he began using cannabis regularly & majorly from his run in with the law, which landed him on 2yrs house arrest. Everything was great b4 his house arrest; he was havin a great time meetin new ppl and had a solid crew that he considered his brothers, chillin every day & goin out & gettn pussy, smokin bud & drinkin alcohol in social situations, & above all doin great in school. But once he got put on house arrest (at age 16) everything changed. AFOAF started smokin bud everyday as an escape & it made everything seem surreal and insignificant, and just a general feeling of being lost. AFOAF began feeling an overall sense of detachement emotionally from the rest of the world accompanied by depression & anger that this happend to him 4 sumthing so petty and at the age of 16. Chillin wit friends jus wasn't the same & he always felt detached even tho he was capable of enjoying himself. AFOAF began smoking cannabis everyday b4 work and after sumtimes up to 4 times a day, which made hime sink more into his detached mental state. At some point (about 2 years l8r) something clicked in SWIM's head & he began to c the direction he was headed, drastically cut down his drug use & began to enjoy sobriety for what it is. After all the years of depression and involuntary isolation (house arrest) he started to come out of it (at age 19) realizing that he handled his temporary misery in the wrong way instead of channeling it into something positive (like school, which he did really bad in during this period of "detached"ness) & has gained a new perspective on life & feels about the same as b4 it all happend.

SWIy should def. take a break from cannabis & start realizing how good he has it, any feeling of detachment is likely temporary and will pass. AFOAFs mistake was not realizing that his situation was only temporary & it brought out the worst in him, dont let it happen to SWIy; there's more to life than stayin high 24/7 so just use drugs in moderation as a way to expand SWIy's conciousness rather than as an escape & everything will end up str8.

[Euthanatos93420]

there's more to life than stayin high 24/7

Speak for yourself! LOL j/k....sort of....really though....what in life isn't just that much damn better without a good fucking toke? Don't get me wrong I agree sobriety is good for perspective. And if you don't have those things that weed enhances then any kind of drug abuse will hollow you out. Like....Video Games *Shudder* now that's some evil shit to get addicted to...

[juanthedon]

hey, swim's just going to follow up on his post.

herbal healer, he really wishes he would have seen your post a few weeks ago.


his situation turned out thus:
he had smoked a blunt early in the day with his "guy".
later, he was summoned to a shady area, and pulled over by a narcotics detective, due to "them hearing his bass"(noise violation). they were really just profiling his friends who they had many previous encounters with.

they searched everybody, and found nothing.

they asked to search the car, and consent was not given. swim was told they would call the k-9 unit and he told them "go ahead". they then told swim to go sit on the curb with his friends and not move. walking around swims car with his little flashlight, the detective then decided he didn't give a fuck about swims civil rights and just started searching his car. nothing was in sight. swim had accidentally left his driver side window rolled down and his keys in the ignition, although there was no smoking going on in the car, and 4 car air fresheners were present, the detectives claimed to have probable cause.

the detective unlocked the glove compartment with swims keys, and found four grams of marijuana, and when swim would not admit it was his they arrested his friends as well.

none of swims friends would snitch on him, so the detectives detained him and went to his house with a consent warrant, and consent was given to search his room, where paraphernalia(scale, bags) and marijuana(gram bagged, between 10-30 grams) were found.

so in the end, swims initial instincts were right. it all came crashing down on him, his cushy lifestyle was protected from any foresight of failure due to a distorted perception.

if anybody ever finds themselves feeling like they're in swims position, i beg you to SLOW THE FUCK UP! it isn't worth it. swim now needs to pay for a lawyer, and his car was impounded which alone set him back $600. working for minimum wage, he is now essentially a slave for the next year and a half.

[Euthanatos93420]

Hmm, I call bullshit. If they found all that and Swiy is so fucking poor how did he afford bail?

If it isn't bullshit you've got a good lawsuit on your hands. The fact that the cop had the keys indicates consent.

Always lock the car behind yourself and keep your keys. When asked for them refuse.

they searched everybodyp

You have the right to refuse this search as well.

k-9 unit and he told them "go ahead". they then told swim to go sit on the curb

That could be construed as consent. Furthermore they can't detain you specifically for the purpose of waiting for K-9 units.

Ask what you are being held for. Answer only questions that cannot incriminate you which consist only of the following:

NONE

There is only so much bullshit the cops can pull to keep you waiting. Insist on leaving once the process becomes redundant. If you mind your P's & Q's you will be able to walk away without any difficutly.

This is not a testament to the con's of dealing drugs. It's a testament to the con's of dealing drugs while being an idiot.

That's not meant as an insult but a description of your blantant lack of awareness about how to handle civil servants.

Reputation Comments on this post:

wow! THAT'S SOME GREAT ADVISE! Excellent info on the keys.

[juanthedon]

Originally Posted by Euthanatos93420

Hmm, I call bullshit. If they found all that and Swiy is so fucking poor how did he afford bail?

bail was $100, which was all swim had in his wallet

Originally Posted by Euthanatos93420

If it isn't bullshit you've got a good lawsuit on your hands. The fact that the cop had the keys indicates consent.

the cop only got the keys by entering swims car, which was illegal in the first place unless he is mistaken. are you a lawyer by any chance?

Originally Posted by cigol

First, SWIM believes SWIY should take responsibility for ones actions, It is not the Drugs fault that SWIY is facing the problems that SWIY is, Its SWIYs Fault. If SWIY cannot handle the effect or consequences of smoking cannabis or taking any drug for that matter then SWIY is too immature or not ready to smoke or handle substances. SWIYs story seems a little fabricated to SWIM, almost like SWIM is watching an Anti-Drug Commercial. Take Responsibility and get ahold of your life. This is the reason why substances are illegal, because rarely any SWIMS take responsibilty for their actions. Take it easy.

Originally Posted by juanthedon

his cushy lifestyle was protected from any foresight of failure due to a distorted perception.

swim never said or implied it was the drugs fault. he just got too used to an illegal lifestyle, to the point where it seemed "right". he followed up to warn anybody else who might feel the same that this could happen to them too.



just be careful is all he wants to say, he isn't pointing any fingers at anybody, and doesn't understand why a "community" would do so.

[Euthanatos93420]

Originally Posted by juanthedon

the cop only got the keys by entering swims car, which was illegal in the first place unless he is mistaken. are you a lawyer by any chance?

And why weren't they in your pocket? And why wasn't the car locked *Beats you with the civil education ruler*

swim never said or implied it was the drugs fault. he just got too used to an illegal lifestyle,

No, you weren't used to it. You're a fucking ignorant newbie. No offense...but if you're dealing dope and you don't know the laws & your civil rights then ignorant is just an accurate description of your behavior. It's like driving a car without know basic traffic laws. DOH!

to the point where it seemed "right". he followed up to warn anybody else who might feel the same that this could happen to them too.

I smell pork bellied propaganda. Here piggy piggy. I got a skewer and a fire pit all ready, yummy...

just be careful is all he wants to say, he isn't pointing any fingers at anybody, and doesn't understand why a "community" would do so.

nobody is pointing fingers at anyone. I am saying your posts indicates extreme ignorance or stupidity which means one of two things:

1)You're a propaganda pig.

or

2)You just need to educate yourself.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Wow, this is clearly flaming. You should be more respectful, and tone it down a bit. Cool your jets there, euthanatos.

[juanthedon]

Originally Posted by Euthanatos93420

I smell pork bellied propaganda. Here piggy piggy. I got a skewer and a fire pit all ready, yummy...

/sigh
what would be the point of this post if it was propaganda, to convince people not to sell drugs? OBVIOUSLY, numerous in-depth studies have shown people are extremely likely to stop any and all criminal activity when swooned by the story of some random kid on the internet, right? gee, swim is sure bummed some paranoid ego tripping fuck on the internet foiled his plan to save the world from the epidemic of selling pot.

Originally Posted by Euthanatos93420

No, you weren't used to it. You're a fucking ignorant newbie.

i'm glad you put so much thought into the conclusions you've drawn. you're fucking ignorant, and swim is sorry you're hypocritical enough to think the same of him.

since i'd like to leave this thread with a permanent air of positivity, we can agree this song is dope:

http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/audio/...u-already-know

thread is now dead to the OP. all is well, stay up.

[Euthanatos93420]

Originally Posted by juanthedon

/sigh
what would be the point of this post if it was propaganda, to convince people not to sell drugs? OBVIOUSLY,

Exactly. The whole thread smacks of TV propaganda. But that's just my opinon. If you're not bullshit. I outlined very detailed hints about what to educate yourself about.

gee, swim is sure bummed some paranoid ego tripping fuck on the internet foiled his plan to save the world from the epidemic of selling pot.

Ego trip? You have no idea why this post pisees the shit out of me. Civil rights violations piss me the fuck off. But it would piss you off too if you had to watch your girlfriend get tazed 4 times by some dumbshit bigot cops.

Fortunately we knew our civil rights and had access to a damn good lawyer. Upon getting out of Jail we took pictures of the wounds caused by the tazer including once that was a set of 3 inch long tracks on her back from where they dragged the tazer across her spine. When the cop gave his testiimony and said they only tazered her once the lawyer showed him the picutres and he never showed up to court. We did though and filed a $300,000 lawsuit on the city.

So people that perpetuate the Police ability to abuse civilian rights by being ignorant of the law gets on my nerves just a little. Still it's not insult to say you are ignorant when you yourself have stated you lack of knowledge about your own civil right and testified to your inability to exert backbone in defense of them again CRIMINAL COPS.

i'm glad you put so much thought into the conclusions you've drawn. you're fucking ignorant, and swim is sorry you're hypocritical enough to think the same of him.

Hypocritical? I'm not the one selling dope while know jack shit about the law that protects me from getting busted. As I stated before. When confronted by criminal cops, I stand up for my goddamn rights. So that makes me anything but hypocritical. Like say, a teacher.

[cigol]

First, SWIM believes SWIY should take responsibility for ones actions, It is not the Drugs fault that SWIY is facing the problems that SWIY is, Its SWIYs Fault. If SWIY cannot handle the effect or consequences of smoking cannabis or taking any drug for that matter then SWIY is too immature or not ready to smoke or handle substances. SWIYs story seems a little fabricated to SWIM, almost like SWIM is watching an Anti-Drug Commercial. Take Responsibility and get ahold of your life. This is the reason why substances are illegal, because rarely any SWIMS take responsibilty for their actions. Take it easy.