Smack the monkey hard. Let off steam by abusing that monkey. 18+

[Dickon]

OK. This in one thing I've not seen here, but I think it makes good recovery to humiliate, abuse, debase, rape, castrate your monkey (or beast or whatever personification you have of drugs / drug use / addiction) or force him to wear frilly knickers or whatever your particular sadistic pleasure is. I hope I am not overstepping the bounds of decency, but I do not want holding back, so people who are not f-word, c-word friendly turn back now. This is the last time I use euphemisms.

Caveat Lector. OK let's have a go

When I met you were my friend, but what a false snide loathsome deceiver you were. I am so fucking glad I'm 60 hours from your company, and I've left you to rot in your own cuntish entrails, eviscerated by 1000 small blunt spikes. You chimera, you bitch-godess, wanting us all to worship at your feet forever, whilst you menstruate your filthy effluvium onto us, and stamp eternally on our heads. Well cunt, I got up. I stood up, and you laughed at me, telling me I'd be back soon. You were right. I staggered again to my feet and fell. But not this time. I can see the look in your eye you pathetic snivelling minion of lucifer. Black crow shitting feted putrid excrement trying to force it down my throat as if it were nutrition for the soul. Well this time I'm standing tall. I have my Katana in hand, and I laugh pitilessly as I cut of your hydra-heads. I dance on your body as you gasp your death-rattle. Here, monkey, monkey, monkey. Don't you look small today, now you're off my back and on the floor. Guess what. I've got a dildo that I'm comming to shove up your arse. You will be split, and bleed in humiliating agony. [D spits venemously at monkey, kicks it in the already unrecognizable blood-splattered head, smiles slyly, and returns to his normal equable self, with a sense of satisfaction]

Well folks, that's a first try. It feels good!!! I just hope this hasn't offended. If so, you should have LISTENED.

Love and fluffies and hot cross buns for all humans(in a very steely-eyed way).

[D frolicks off across the green-sward playing his pan-pipes in a haunting way]

Dr D.

Reputation Comments on this post:

	i like
	I rather enjoyed that lucid display of foulmouthed retribution.
	Ingenuity at its finiest, combining rule-following with psychological buffers to battle cravings/addiction

[snapper]

SWIM liked the 'menstruate your filthy effluvium' part.. bad monkey!

[Dickon]

I, son of Robert and Jill, free spirit of pure light, perfect soul, enlightened one, Dr D, do rub your beast-nose into a stench-heap of maggots. I watch quietly bemused as you thrash, gasping for air, and taking my small knife, I etch into your flesh "I have prevailed. You are my slave." I take out a vial of salt and sulphuric acid and rub it tenderly into the wound as the beast howls in pain. I enjoy the experince almost sexually. I get out 10 inch long needles, and stick them through every joint in your body, saying "no - it wasn't fun for me". Finally I take a machette and put you, you stupid pig-monkey out of your mysery, but not after failing to make the death-cut 5 times.

Happy trails my bunnies

Dr D

[MrG]

Oh Bravo good sir, what fine entertainment.

But can he keep it up?

[Dickon]

Voyeurs, voyeurs, contribute please. Even if you just write "fuck off monkey", I just like to do it with a bit of imagination, but this is not supposed to be a one-man show this is supposed to be a valuable resource!!

Putrescent cockroack scuttling dryly across the floor. I put a steel toe-capped boot and press softly and watch the blood start to flow from seconds after the delightful crack as your exoskeleton breaks. I smear it's entrains over the floor, and walk away indifferently.

Just a thought. A friend of mine (a poet) used to link addiction and cockroaches. Please please please someone else have a go. I promiss if anyone wants to, I'll try and one-up their ideas!! Then they can one-up me. Or why don't you start by one-uping me, just make it worse if the ideas aren't flowing. They won't flow unless you start to write. There will be no literary criticism here, that is so not the point! Don't be shy : Roll up, Roll up, and spank that monkey hard!!!

Reputation Comments on this post:

Bravo Sir, a grand challenge indeed. SWIM will have a crack when he is less stoned.

[Buchan]

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish monkey, and the tyrannies of evil monkeys. Blessed is Dickon who in the name of charity and good will, shepards the weak through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brothers' keeper and finder of lost children.

However, I too will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those monkeys who attempt to poison and destroy me and my brothers. I lay my vengeance upon you monkey!!

Buchan added 5 Minutes and 48 Seconds later...

Fuck me. This guy is good. ^^^ Brilliant!

What a great relief laughter is from that bastard monkey.

[snapper]

Adapted from Moby Dick with select DF member substitutions :

Snapper, first mate: To be enraged with a dumb monkey that acted out of blind instinct is blasphemous.
Captain Alfa: Speak not to me of blasphemy, man; I'd strike the sun if it insulted me. Look ye, Snapper, all visible objects are but as pasteboard masks. Some inscrutable yet reasoning thing puts forth the molding of their features. The shit-flinging monkey tasks me; he heaps me. Yet he is but a mask. 'Tis the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that has plagued mankind since time began; the thing that maws and mutilates our race, not killing us outright but letting us live on, with half a heart and half a lung and a needle in our vein.
Panther007: Ehhhh, you can't fool us; it's the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he's got a great secret monkey in him.
Radiometer: I have, lad, I have. While fixing one day, you'll smell dope where there'll be no dope, and on that day the monkey will go to his grave, but he'll rise again within the hour. He will rise and beckon. Then all - all save one shall follow. (Slinking away with a smile on his face to a fresh round of kratom tea) Mornin', lads... mornin'. May the heavens bless you and shield you from filthy menstual effluvium.
Captain Alfa: By heavens man, we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and fate is the spike.
Snapper, first mate: It's late; you should turn in.
Captain Alfa: Sleep? That bed is a coffin, and those are dull, dirty needles. I do not sleep, I die.
Radiometer: [in voice-over narration] He did not feel the wind, or smell the salt air. He only stood, staring at the horizon, with the marks of some inner crucifixion and woe deep in his face, and tracks down his arms.
Radiometer: [voiceover] Call me a bad monkey.
Captain Alfa: From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned monkey.
Fnord: Delight is to the monkey who coming to rigg himself up can say, "O Father, mortal or immortal, here I die. I have striven to be Thine, more than to be this world's. Yet this is nothing. I leave eternity to Thee. For what is monkey, that he should live out the lifetime of his God?"
Snapper: It is an evil voyage, I tell thee. If the monkey has his way, neither thee nor me, nor any member of this ship's company will ever see home again.
Bajeda: Aw, come on, Mr. Snapper, you're just plain gloomy. The monkey may be big, but he ain't THAT big.
Snapper, first mate: I do not fear the monkey - I fear the wrath of God.

Reputation Comments on this post:

lol, brilliant continuation!

[Buchan]

Ok, guess I'll give it a go then:

Loathsome monkey,
Trick me into thinking we were a formidable team, would you? Well it appears the truth is out now. I realise you have impeded my life since the moment I met you. But you are almost out of ammunition. “How do I know?”, you say. Well, I now know many things. Your persistence is most admirable, ..... BUT FOOLISH!!! Do you know what today is? ...... No? Well I’m afraid today is a very bad day to be a monkey. It’s going to be a shame to destroy such a worthy adversary, but I’m going to kill you. I swear to god you days are numbered. Feeling scared? Well bravo, the final horse has passed the finish line. Your uppance has finally come! What’s that sorry? What is it you want? You want to get the hell out of here you say? Oh... I’m sorry. We’re fresh out of that. All we have left for you is untimely death. Watch carefully, as I slowly gut you and then strangle you with your own intestines, before ripping your head off and shitting down your neck.

[Dickon]

Brilliant !!! Now we're getting it. "Youre uppance has finally come" : I love it.

"'Tis the thing behind the mask I chiefly hate; the malignant thing that has plagued mankind since time began; the thing that maws and mutilates our race, not killing us outright but letting us live on, with half a heart and half a lung and a needle in our vein."

and of course who can't love the Pulp Fiction parody!

What sort of mood am I in today... I think I'm really into a thou and thine thing.....

Be still foul fiend, that stalketh malignantly behind me, a shadow, invisible false whispererer. Thine hour is upon thee dark Beallzebub, who clamps on with acrid claws, and feedeth from mine own blood. For I have unclamped thee with violence from my neck. The bite marks and scratches as you cling for your meal have weakened my body, but not my spirit, which burns with a fiercness blinding to the evil ones. I have you now in my vicious clutch, and this time it is I who will feed on you. D, in a most uncharacteristic way, Vampire Like (he's been watching True Blood again - lol) Sucks the life out of this loathed companion until it lies exsanguinated and dead on the floor. D wipes blood off his mouth, and pootles off to begin his 5th 24-hour-day without that creature feeding on him, strengthened by the wit and wisdom of his companions.

Kittens and puppies to girls and boys respectively

D

[Buchan]

Listen you, evil bastard, you'll be gone soon. I intend to mount your bloody head on a fence post. Until then you shall sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!!

[Dickon]

Dr D strides into the room, and looks around for monkeys, beasts and filthy flee-infested vermin and nightcrawlers and venomous things. I hear the slithering away of these vile soul-stalkers as they sense nemesis. I follow the scuttling and scrabbling of vile toxic insects, bent on crawling up every single hair on my body, to make me itch. I bring out a can of bug-spray, and gas every last one of the loathsome things. I stomp on the bigger mamalio-diabolic night-born things with satisfying squelches as blood gushes everywhere. I bring out a hose and clean away the fetid entrails and dead/dying insects. All of you pain-making life-destroyers. I say to you : No Pasaran!!! I will kill you all or die trying.

D strides out again (feeling better)

[Gappa]

Here's SWIM's special ultrasooperdoopermacadazical recipe for the "Ultimate Monkey Smackdown"
Very simple to do and only one ingredient is needed.
1 fat 50mg tablet of Naltrexone crushed well and insuflated one bang to each nostril.
For the more advanced SWIY's out there another 50mg can be plugged for added excitement!!!!!!!!!
Smack that bitch up!!! Enjoy!!

Gappa added 8 Minutes and 16 Seconds later...

This recipe is guaranteed and certified to bring any monkey to it's knees!!!

[MrG]

A seething rage fills all those in the room as Gappa marches in and completely misses the point.

A short scuffle ensues as he is forced on to his belly and hog-tied, his head pulled back hard by a hand which has never offered mercy, spittle flecked face now bloodied as the screaming banshee slams Gappa's head down onto the hard marble floor repeatedly, down, front teeth shatter as exposed nerve-endings transmit their load into his, still stunned, brain, up, his head pulled back and held to ensure he fully receives every and all information relating to the searing agony being delivered again and again to his pathetic, tear-streaked visage.

"This is just the fucking entree you maggot!"

"Eat the floor, EAT THE FUCKING FLOOR"

"You *will* be used as an example to ALL that they had better pay heed to the discourse or suffer the same fate, but what fate? What, indeed, shall we do with your wretched self to *fully* demonstrate our malevolent intent?"

Suggestions please good sirs!

[Gappa]

I know the topic there MrG. Taking me down physically might prove to be a daunting task my dear friend. As a moderator you may be able to silence me but as a flesh and blood person I AM MY ENEMIES WORST NIGHTMARE! That said kind sir,
The post was stated by my clone as a JOKE! if you please. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY by ANYONE! OR any SWIY if you please.. Any person in their right mind that knows ANYTHING about OPIOID ADDICTION will understand this is for a LAUGH AND ONLY A LAUGH!!!

I would never want to see anyone go through what I had done YES I DID IT. Not the plugging part but you get my drift. I did it to see how much pain I could take and yes it was FUN for me. But for a normal man or woman not a good idea.

Gappa added 4 Minutes and 40 Seconds later...

If you feel it necessary to place the "intended as a joke only DO NOT try this at home" you may.
Sorry Dr D for interrupting the flow.

Gappa added 18 Minutes and 48 Seconds later...

The discussion was about the imaginary "monkey" as any of SWI our addictions and how much we hate it. Verbally abusing outwardy expressing our hatred toward this "monkey" to make us feel better inward.

Gappa added 42 Minutes and 25 Seconds later...

Dear monkey you are not stronger than me, I have a Naltrexone tablet for thee!
I shouted with glee as I crushed it U see, that monkey now scared is trembling and pees.
My first blow lands a bit low, as I come round jabbing to and fro.
As the Naltrexone kicks in my eyes start to glow, the monkey makes his last and final go.
A slash to his knees in a final gasp says, one more hit if you please. As I walk from my disease his dust blows away in the breeze....

Reputation Comments on this post:

	Bravo, now *that* is smacking the monkey!
	good job at showing mrg how wrong he was, he tends to over step his boundaries.

[moda00]

I haven't been around much, and think there is some merit to this thread, so I am certainly not going to take any unilateral moderator action as I don't feel that would be fair. I would however like to ask if others feel it could be possible to continue a thread of this type without the gendered linguistic assaults? Cunts, bitches, getting down on your knees? I totally get that intense emotion and experience must sometimes be conveyed in language that could offend those who don't understand its depths, but I also don't like to see things crossing the line into language that insinuates rape, violence, and other such female-centered abuse. That's all I have to say for now..

ETA: And swim has struggled with heroin addiction and overcome her monkey, so she understands the point of this thread and the need to liberate oneself from addiction and other such demons.. so please don't think I am missing the point, just making a point of my own..

[guldenat]

Originally Posted by moda00

violence, and other such female-centered abuse.

So it must be male centered abuse, or is it that the monkey may not have gender? Surely no one finds insults hurled at a metaphorical monkey ... insulting.

[RaverHippie]

I never did thank my raver friend enough for getting me kicked out of college. I mean he was the one who kept associating around me and led to both of our dismissals. The next time I see him I'll be sure to make it so that he'll never be able to dance to drum n bass again...

EDIT: it just so happened I managed to find my raver friend on his way to a club. Here's how it went down. First I cracked the Emergency Services grade lightsticks and threw them around us so that people would know to leave me alone, a ring of fire of sorts. I could tell he was feeling self-destructive since things weren't going so well for him in daily life, losing his job and all. But after a few swift kicks to the head, and a knee to the guts he was gasping for air and higher on endorphins than he could ever have been from the pit of misery he wanted to drink himself into with the aide of the beer depot that didn't card.

[MrG]

moda00, whilst I understand a reluctance to, seemingly, promote chauvinistic sexism or, for that matter, violence against women, it must be said that the point of this thread is manyfold.

Some may have a monkey on their back which may benefit from a vicious tongue-lashing, albeit through the medium of text, whilst others, such as myself, who have the good fortune not to have suffered in such a way, see the contents herein as nothing more than a ploy to stretch the imagination beyond the cosy confines of one's usual, rather tame, agressive layer.

I accept that certain key words may offend, albeit purely subjectively, but the danger in requesting restraint is that the power of this thread is then diluted and severely weakened.

After all, for those of us who fall far-short of Dickon et al's outstanding linguistic prowess, the safe confines of simple obscenity should ensure that nobody is made to feel excluded.

One woman's 'C word' is another woman's 'B word' and vise-versa, according to my wife, who knows of such things.

[AvidFan]

Patient X's monkey is male - Bad Angel, but his post was deleted. Maybe Patient X will come back and write something appropriate, he was thinking about choking his monkey but doesn't want to bring autoasphyxiation and all that kind of thing into this thread

[moda00]

Originally Posted by guldenat

So it must be male centered abuse, or is it that the monkey may not have gender? Surely no one finds insults hurled at a metaphorical monkey ... insulting.

Well I didn't mean to say that I personally felt insulted.. just that I have found it preferable, in my own life, to approach such things, including the use of language, in a way which does not play into this theme. Like I said, I understand the many facets of this issue, and am happy that people are finding a personal release or creative kicks or whatever may be through their writings- doesn't bother me a bit. Just felt that I would share my thoughts. I guess I just question why things like this- mainly the rape references, subtle and not-so-subtle, need to be used in a way which implies that those themes and acts are cathartic and liberating. Yes, it's great to gain power over one's addiction, but to use the notion of rape to do it seems to take that to another plane which to me need not be tied in. Again, my opinion is one of many and I am not upset with anyone, but those are my thoughts, take them or leave them.

I don't want to get into a debate about gender, as this thread is not about that, but I don't think gender needs to play a central role in something like this, male or female. It's just that due to the constructs of our society, it tends to be such that when a gender seems to come into play in such a way, it is generally male against female, since that is what implies submission, power, etc. in our culture- hence the notion of rape, which as we all know is not sensual or sexual as much as it is about power, control, domination. I understand that these issues do tie together in complex ways, but I guess it just seems to me rather inappropriate in this particular context- but as I said, if others do not see an issue and find it useful, then please do not censor yourself on my behalf.

I guess part of my reaction may be such because I have never personified my "monkey" in such a way, and to me the process of overcoming addiction was more of recreating aspects of myself- I see myself as having certain things that were part of me, and still are in some ways, albeit very different ways than before. I see myself as being liberated from a former self and freed into a new self; but that those selves are formed out of the pieces of one another, if that makes any sense. I guess I just don't separate myself from my addiction in that way? I don't know.. And I am simply sharing this in order to think about my own perspective on the topic at hand, not to question anyone else's approach or views; I guess I have just never approached it in quite this way. It is definitely something to think about.

[Gappa]

WOW!! beat up on an imaginary monkey and get your ass ripped by the mods. MrG ripped me for thinking I was off topic!!?? WTF come on guys we are all adults here, we know what to expect from a thread like this. MODS, you may want to consider some sort of rating system for these threads.. like the movies. XXX - R - PG-13 - G, if people are really going to be that sensitive. Men get raped too you know......
People can get pretty worked up knowing how much damage their addiction has caused in their life.. Try going to jail,loosing your family,a friends death or worse yet causing someones death....... That monkey deserves all we can muster ya'll!!!!

[AvidFan]

Originally Posted by Gappa

WOW!! beat up on an imaginary monkey and get your ass ripped by the mods. MrG ripped me for thinking I was off topic!!?? WTF come on guys we are all adults here, we know what to expect from a thread like this. MODS, you may want to consider some sort of rating system for these threads.. like the movies. XXX - R - PG-13 - G, if people are really going to be that sensitive. Men get raped too you know......
People can get pretty worked up knowing how much damage their addiction has caused in their life.. Try going to jail,loosing your family,a friends death or worse yet causing someones death....... That monkey deserves all we can muster ya'll!!!!

OMG, what with some of the stuff already in this thread, X is having horrible imaginings of what might have been considered so extreme as to be moderated!!!

[Dickon]

Slime, vermin, filth that crawls, rasps and claws with leprous hands the throats of dying centenarian ladies who spew putrid cockroach dung from ever-recreating and unfathomably filthy orifices, I see your illusions. I have reached inside the viscera, stuck my tentative hand through tumours, entrails, half-eaten meals once greedily eaten but now fermenting in ulcerous stomachs, the rumen of decay, to pull out a plum. A rather ordinary plum, that a silver-haired howler descended upon with a violence uncommensurate with his wiry frame. I clung tight as the monkey ran his iron claws speedily through my hair, clamping fast on my bleeding skull, a vice-like grip, scrabbling and ripping my shoulders to pieces. Demanding wordlessly that I feed him the fruit, chittering and squealing. I reached up and flung him into the abyss after a long battle described elsewhere.

I have planted the plum's seed in what I hope to be fertile soil, for I have become a gardener of souls.

Dickon

[sknkv2]

ok so lyk there was disz monkey ryt n i didn rly lyk him coz lyk, well jst coz lyk u know how these monkeys get orii u kno? Well anyway this monkey comes up, he's like, "hey, how are ya man" n im kinda gettin a bit worried at this point you know, cause its not every day a monkey comes up and starts chatting to you so yer i say "not too bad" in that kinda voice that makes you know im not someone to be fucked with yer, so anyway, the monkey starts full coming onto me and shit but its a male monkey so im like "im sorry, i really am, i mean your a beuatiful monkey and im sure youd make a monkey very happy one day but im a human and you know, it would just never work, im sorry" n then hes like i kno man, i jst wanna feel u next to me right now. n so thats when i got REALLY mad. I ended up picking this monkey up above my head with my willpower and started slamming it against the ground, teeth flying left and right. /attempt at thread participation.

Reputation Comments on this post:

Please, NO TXT SPK !

[Gappa]

Bravo, Bravo!! Dr D