Worried Parent

[beve]

Is there anyone out there that can help me. I have very good reason to believe my daughter is a cocaine user, I just want to know how do I go about aproaching her about this.

[Alfa]

Your blog notes:

Is there anyone out there that can give me advice on how to aproach my child whom i think may have a cocaine addiction. All the warning sighns are there I just dont know how to aproach her about it. I live in Margate and she lives in Jhb.

Could you add more information about this?

[elmira]

I would suggest that you go ahead and have a very open discussion with her regarding her cocaine usage. If she is not for having a discussion, try to persuade her to take a drug test. Once the results are out, it would become a necessity for both of you to sit and talk on this topic. All the best. Don't get angry!Try to get her out soon

[sylenth]

Originally Posted by beve

Is there anyone out there that can help me. I have very good reason to believe my daughter is a cocaine user, I just want to know how do I go about aproaching her about this.

hi bev, see you from SA so is smurf. as mentioned going easy on her is the safest method. do'nt assume she's abusing it 'even though there's a high probability that she could be.'

aproaching her out of the blue unexpected while with her being in a happy moment with you with your what you know & suspect when she least expects it is probably a good time to pop the question, she could admit to her use this way, it's the way smurf admitted it to his mother.

smurfs no parent but in his situation he would not act too shocked & perhaps use a small lie to get more info out of her, perhaps saying you also used it back in the day. this should open her up to providing more info & then you can use your savvy to get more answers out of her to better assess her usage situation.

it could be a bit of a slow process to see if she lets much out & to monitor her behaviour now that she's comfortable & wary with you knowing what she does & working on her consciouns & her will not to dissapoint you is at play. already this will have provided a scare for her, at the same time naturally you should make it clear that you not entirely comfortable with it & hope her experimental phaze does'nt become an addiction from abuse.

if she has already proven she is abusing & you have enough proof to give her that she needs help then she needs to agree to this & you can think of things as a team to help her & can take the next step.

edit: one more thing. if you suspect she's doing coke because you found a straw or note for example, smurf knows that CAT/KHAT is very popular in south africa, more so than coke because of affordability, so you might want to ask her if it's CAT/KHAT which is methcathinone which is also addictive & can lead to abuse as the smurfs done a lot of this in johannesburg.

keep us posted with more info or pm me, all the best.

[fiveleggedrat]

I want to hear why Swiy believes their daughter is using.

Swim spent his years of life being accused of using drugs by his family, and it was annoying as hell.

[MissingFet]

Originally Posted by fiveleggedrat

I want to hear why Swiy believes their daughter is using.

Swim spent his years of life being accused of using drugs by his family, and it was annoying as hell.

Swim thinks being accused and discussing it are completely different things all together... Bev strikes me as a concerned and cautious parent, swim sees the fact that Bev registered on an informative website about the use of drugs very mature in the way that she is going about this.

Swim echo's Sylenths thoughts, ask her during a moment of happiness and spending time with one another, try and help her understand that you aren't angry at her, which i don't think you are, you care... and your just worried and you want to make sure that she is ok.

Swim has been having a ton of fun using and for many years, sometimes its something that swim goes over board and spends all the money without a care in the world and other times Swim is very cautious of how he parties.

Swim personally believes that addiction would start when the person is using to replace something that is missing in their lives, thats the risky situations. Finding out why she is using is nine tenths of solving any problems if there are any. It isn't safe to just assume that she may be addicted, maybe she is, maybe she isn't, theoretically if she is a mature person then she will know... if she doesn't, she will know in time.

Swim has a very good friend who used a few times and it was never for her, she wasn't interested in that sort of thing.

Swim hopes the info helps Bev, welcome to Msg if you need someone to talk to about this. Swim isn't a parent either but... understands to a point.

Reputation Comments on this post:

good one mah booi.

[fiveleggedrat]

I ask because too many parents go "Oh little Johhny has started to ask questions about why we are members of the republican party, it must be MARIHUANA!" and similar type responses, only to a less comical degree

Swim only asks out of a desire to help. If cocaine is not really the confirmed, 100% problem at hand, how can we help?

Reputation Comments on this post:

Classic American :)

[cra$h]

bring it up relevantly, don't just pull it out of the blue. Like if there's something on the tv, or say what news you heard today. And make it seem like you don't really care about your kid doing drugs, because once you express concern, the kid'll deny everything. Swim was in the same situation (from the child perspective) and wouldn't admit to anything, and would find ways to get out of drug tests etc. If you accept the usage, then you'll know if it's a problem or not, and let them know if they think they're getting out of hand, they are, and let them know that you're there to help keep them from fucking up, instead of making them clean altogeather.

[ex-junkie]

approaching an addict involves remaining calm, avoid being judgemental, and be prepared for the addict to possibly get agitated. alot of addicts remain in denial, and will get angry at the very suggestion they have a problem.

usually an addict needs to reach out for help themselves, and will not do anything to fix their situation until they are "ready".

you need to show that you are concerned without overdoing it, without sparking a bad reaction. unfortunately this is a very fine line.

intervention usually doesnt end well, as the addict feels as if their privacy has been invaded. after all its their decision to take drugs, etc.

usually the best thing one can do in this situation, is to keep a watchful eye, and just be there for them when they need you. dont give them large amounts of money, because you are only fuelling their addiction. (if of course there is one).

[electroluvah]

ex-junkie,

that is good advice for someone who is an addict!

I agree with previous posts, more information?
SWIM used a lot of substances in early teen years, has slowed down a bit now. SWIM's parents used MANY different approaches but SWIM kept sneaking behind their backs....SWIM thought she didnt need her family for support ( money....emotional....etc....) So really this is a hard situation to evaluate.

It would be great to have more information though, it seems like everyone is ready to offer their advice
I would say approach her about it....even if she verbally denies is...she is your daughter...and you will be able to tell by your gut...Best of luck to you both