Addiction - My dexedrine story: the devil in a bottle

[Aracias]

Hey everyone this is swims first post and he does not really know where to begin but he is going to try.

Swim started using apmhetamines 2 years ago. And over that peroid he was given a bottle of pills that he was given by the doctor to control his "ADD", When swim was perscribed the pills he did not believe he had ADD but he had tried the pills once before and being new to drugs at the time really, really enjoyed the effects and kept his mouth shut and just agreed with the doctor so anyways swim used the pills at school and found out that the drugs where in his mind a godsend, they made him think better, faster and more effieciently,Swim always liked that side effect because was never a really good thinker ( not stupid..but not straight A's ) another side effect swim could probilly have done without but did not mind having was that it increased his social awarness and ability to talk to virtually anybody for as long as he desired, Swim at the time was a very social person with absolutley no problem befriending someone random off the street so the added benefit made him feel both superior to everyone around him and as if he could conquer the very stars he looked at

One year later side-effects from prolonged dexedrine use began to pop up..quiet litterly, the first thing Swim noticed was that he began to break out with acne now swim who was his entire life very sure of himself and what he was capable of..began to doubt himself and a lack of confidence became efident. he no longer could wow the girls the way that he had only a year before. Ontop of that was the ever present feeling of people watching you, swims closest friends people he called brothers seemed to hate him and ridicoule everything he said..eventhough they did not outright say it swim was sure that they where thinking it.

Six months after the first side effects swim tried to quit many times only to fail after he drained the the months bottle in only the first two weeks of the month and actually getting clean for the next two weeks only to have the devil sitting there inside a bottle on the 1st of the next month. Swims will and resolve to quit became very weak and he began to do excstasy and cocaine aswell as drinking very heavily to make the situation worse most of his friends were drawn into the same hard living lifestyle secretly adding to his guilt. the people that where not drawn into swims hell simply disapeared it seemed.

Two years now after swims first encounter with Dexedrine. Swim was no longer doing Ex or Coke but still drinking on weekends. Swim still does dex though with almost no positive side effects. After the dex high passes Swim also gets heartpalpitations, iregular breathing, complete lack of self confidence, rarley leaves house enelss to go party with friends to keep up apearences so people do not think swim is dead, Swim also cannot go into large public places without feeling overwhelming anxiety

Swim once thought he could conquer the world; Now swim cannot conquer a small orange pill... that promised him everything but only ended up taking everything away from swim


Swim wants advice from people who have used Dexedrine for a long peroid of time and if they experianced anything like this and what swim could do to better his situation.

Thoughtfull advice please I am new to this

[Lehendakari]

SWIM can relate to that story. First periods of using stimulants yielded great results as listed above, now the comedown is just unbearable and during the peak, there is no euphoria no happyness no nothing. He's stopped use of SDRI's except for very particular situations.

[oneself]

Swim has ADD and has had severe acne. Swim suggests a change in lifestyle. Clean food, some exercise, NO caffeine, and a new hobby with 'clean' friends. Perhaps easier said than done. Swim knows. And swims done it swimself.

Remember that swiy is not your outward swiyou, but how swiyou feels inside. That's what matters. F8ck superficialness! Don't try to impress others, because really they don't care anyways. People usually only care about themselves. So be swiyourself and enjoy the life you have NOW! It took swim a long time to change this thought and get on with life.

[blackdb1]

Swim completely agrees with the above post!!! Swiy needs to be confident in swiyourself just because of things YOU like about YOURSELF, swim used to worry too much of others thoughts of him and it led to him not liking himself...

Swim has not been so to say "hooked" on amphetamines but did and still does love to do them on occasion. He makes sure to only use occasionally because swim was HEAVILY addicted to oxycodone, or any other opiate he could get in his bloodstream so he could be outgoing (swim is a shy person to strangers but really open with fam and friends) and he truly believed that when on oxy he was a cooler person!!! Eventually swims tolerance was so high he had to take 10x his original dosages to get high and he was getting sick and tired of having to worry everynight before bed as he took his last dose how he'd get the next days supply!!! The want to quit started 2 years into the addiction but he was on and off about 4 and a half years...

What really made swim want to completely get away from drug abuse was he started IV'ing his OC's which is very bad for the body to say the least!!! So swim decided he 100% absolutely wanted to cessate his illicit drug use and called a suboxone doc and a psych... He was RX'ed 16mgs Subs (6mgs now), Klonazepam 2mg 2x a day, Alprazolam 0.5mgs 3x a day, and Adderall 20mg 2x day. He is 6 months clean and it feels ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!!

Swim stopped hangin' with user friends and whatnot and next month is his 1st birthday sober since 16 and he's turning 21!!! He loves life and everything it has to offer!!!

Swim wishes swiy great success with swiyour addiction and he CAN ABSOLUTELY beat it, he'll just have to try harder than he has on anything in his whole life!!! Peace, keep swim updated... -bdb1-

Reputation Comments on this post:

great advice

[humdroid]

Aracias

Ditto with Tom, only it's UK base, and not dexedrine.
Tom is not diagnosed with ADD/ADDHD but his therapist thinks it is a possibility, and Tom certainly more than matches up to what I have read online etc, about the condidtion. Tom is in his forties, and, like many other adults, has gone through school feeling he had underlying issues, yet he could not pinpoint what was causing them. It was clear to everyone around tom, both as a kid and an adult, he had issues. Tom discovered speed late in life, but when on it, he said he felt as if sobriety should feel like this. Tom used speed as a lifestyle drug, although he is still struggling with admitting this.

He suggested you do some reading about neurotransmitters and supplementing them. He also suggested reading up on Kanna. Tom likes dipping in and out of things online, as his attention span and fluttering thought patterns seem to prevent him learning in more conventional ways. Tom stressed to me, supplements and herbs, while making sobriety more bearable, carry the same safety implications as prescribed medications.