Age 24, young mum and ive never been so honest in my life- help with alcohol problem

[msmogadon]

Amy1984 SWIM don't mean to be cheeky or anything but is SWIY making a plan for what she's going to do?
It seems to SWIM that SWIY has a lot to get off her chest judging by the content of SWIYs posts and is looking to vent problems rather than thinking about a solution.
Perhaps as has already been suggested SWIY needs to TALK to someone before addressing the drinking. This might even eliminate the need to drink if SWIY can confide in someone she trusts

Reputation Comments on this post:

well said msmogadon..

[amy1984]

well thats why i went to the doctors i havent got anyone to talk 2!

[msmogadon]

Originally Posted by amy1984

well thats why i went to the doctors i havent got anyone to talk 2!

Its pretty crap the doc didn't even refer SWIY to a counseller or a CPN (Community psychiatric nurse)
sometimes SWIM thinks nurses should be the first port of call in the community cause they look at things more holistically

[meaculpa]

amy, i can very much relate to everything you say i.e my mom was a heavy drinker when i was a kid and tried to kill herself a few times. i twice found her after taking an overdose and once found her in the bath with slit wrists. she also set fire to the house once and was sectioned on 2 occasions. although my memory is very hazy regarding childhood i have been left with a lot of anxiety which no doubt relates to my past. i really hope you can find a proffesional to help you talk through all this as it has no doubt had an effect on you and is almost certainly why you feel the need to drink. could you afford to pay for counselling or therapy? if you`re on a low income then you might be able to find someone who charges less than normal. as useless as drs are they might at least be able to point you in the right direction regarding free or cheap counselling. you deserve to be happy hun, i hope you find help

i`m a member of a mental health forum, don`t know whether or not i can post a link here but i find it very helpful and supportive, try google

[jon-q]

Maybe just spending time on "drugs forum"will help swiy a little theres plenty of different sub forums that swiy could drop in on,share your views and opinions,write a blog go to "some for all" and post a joke.if it helps swiy pass the night away and not think about drinking.
sometimes life can become lonley and we drink/take drugs simply to pass time,whatever you decide as swim as already said i do wish you luck!!

[Lunar Loops]

Originally Posted by amy1984

i can honestly say ive never felt so scared in my entire life i know what drinking does to people and how it desroys i know i have a problem but no one seems to care, your 24 if you managed not to drink while you were preg your fine dont be silly

I presume that last bit was directed at SWILL as he referenced the fact that you managed to give up whilst pregnant, but he did not mean you are fine. That is why he also said that "what is important is how it feels to you". The only point SWILL was making is that YOU CAN DO IT. He was not trivialising your problem or saying that there was an easy solution (as there isn't).

Sure, some people would regard your drinking as being non-problematic, but it is all individual and as has been pointed out by others, you need to focus on the reasons for your drinking.

Sure, the Doc was next to useless, and you feel betrayed because it was such a big deal for you to go in there and talk about it in the first place. However, that is no reason to give up. There are other people to talk to (you have been given some suggestions by people on here).

The fact that you have responses from people on here trying to help shows that people do care.

[moda00]

Hi Amy,
I think it can be hard to judge externally whether or not someone has a "problem." But, medically and psychologically, there are criteria for a "problem," which is diagnosed as either substance abuse disorder or substance dependence.

Substance abuse is a pattern of use that causes impairment or distress, and has caused one of the following in the past 12 months: use interferes with obligations at home/work/school, use in situations where it could be physically hazardous (ie. driving a car, caring for a child, using despite a medical condition, etc.), legal problems related to use, or use that continues despite it causing or contributing to social/interpersonal problems. The main factors then are one's own perception (Is the use causing distress? It seems in your case definitely..) and then is the use causing some type of problem or harm in functioning or putting you at unnecessary risk.

Then, for substance dependence, the same criteria of impairment or distress resulting from use applies, in addition three or more of these seven: Tolerance (requiring more to get same effect), Withdrawal (physical and psychological symptoms from stopping use), Using larger amounts or for a longer period of time than intended, Persistent desire to use or unsuccessful effort to cut down or stop, Considerable time/effort spent using or thinking about using, Using substance of choice replaces other social or personal life activities, and Use that continues despite physical or psychological problems.

Sorry to get all technical on you, I just wanted to clarify that as there is some ambiguity as far as how people perceive substance problems and how they are evaluated by medical professionals (or should be anyway). Diagnostic criteria aside, the most important thing is that swiyou know when swiyour use is a problem, and swiyour distress indicates that something needs to change. As others have said, acknowledging the problem and seeking change are the two first steps. However, I can imagine how frustrated swiyou must feel at having one's concerns dismissed by one's doctor. However, many general practitioners do not know much about substance abuse disorders. While abuse or dependence are definitely a complex mixture of physical and psychological, they are really more the realm of mental health professionals nowadays (although I would like to see more coordination between medical and psychological interventions as I think it best to get everyone on board and maximize the resources available to help treat substance problems.. but anyways..) Does swiyou have insurance?? If one's doc is not willing or knowledgeable enough to give a referral, I would strongly recommend seeking out a therapist/psychologist who has experience dealing with substance issues. There are counselors who specialize in this. I have been working with my therapist for around three years and have found it to be a key component in my recovery. It may also turn out that one needs medication, either to treat underlying depression or anxiety (dual diagnosis is common, as many people self medicate, but this can't be uncovered until one has gotten the alcohol out of one's system) or to help one stay away from drinking. But the important first step is to start working through some of the factors that contribute to swiy's drinking, and to get some sober time under swiy's belt so that she can get a feel for what it is like to be sober and then begin to really tackle the other issues.

Swiy can call her insurance company for a listing of addiction treatment options covered, if she has it, or check the phone book (or the Drugs-Forum Rehab Index!! ) In addition to one on one therapy, it is often extremely helpful to do either support group/12 step groups, group therapy, or outpatient classes of some kind. Many outpatient treatment centers exist and will offer these types of programs. I want to stress that there are different options and philosophies out there, and it is just a matter of giving it a go, and finding what works for swiy individually. Some people prefer ongoing 12-step support, some people would rather do traditional group therapy or secular/rational recovery type groups, some people end up deciding to do a hospital detox or inpatient stay for a bit- there are a lot of options, one just has to give it a go, and have the desire to get healthy and overcome one's problem. I don't know where the post is, but there is a really good post on here that states that addiction is characterized by ambivalence- that you want to get sober and healthy, and stop suffering because of one's addiction, but that as an addict, one also wants to use/drink. These urges will conflict, and it is just a matter of accepting the presence of both and being able to put one's desire to get healthy ahead of the desire to use, but it will not ever entirely dissipate (although I can tell you, after over 2 years sober from heroin and cocaine, swim rarely has cravings or using dreams or whatnot). It is a struggle, and takes time and effort and it will not be easy but it is definitely worth it.

One other thing I like to tell people in early recovery is that you need to find things to occupy your time. I know that for swimyself, using became swim's life. One cannot just remove a huge section of one's life without replacing it with something- I like to use the analogy of a hole or empty space- the alcohol was filling some need, probably many needs- it occupied swiyour time, made swiy feel better, etc. So if swiy takes that away without finding other things to meet those needs, the hole will still be there, and the cravings will eventually overcome swiy because there will be nothing else around to balance it out. So, it is essential to fill one's time and meet one's emotional needs in early recovery, because it is a big change in both the way you live, and who you are, really.

Please let us know how things are going, wishing you the best of luck!!

[KomodoMK]

Keep us updated Amy, we hope everything is going well for you. Doctors are pretty much useless, they get paid silly amounts of money but seldom have the answers you want/need. Half the time they don't even seem to care.

Hang around the forum a bit and help other people, it seems you have a good head on your shoulders and could be quite a useful member and it may help you pass the time a little.

[Joe Rogan]

Swim doesnt know what you are going through but has a similar case with other substances. What swim found is 3 things...

1.) Church- Swim knows that this is what really helped. Even if SWIY isnt interested in the teachings. They will help Swiy and this could give swiy a place to go for aa through the church.

2.) What- It seems to me that Swiy wants to do this but doesnt understand what swiy is doing it for. Swiy needs to remember the time when Swiy was pregnant and needs to know that feeling. If it helps talk to other mothers or someone with the same intrests.

3.) Plan- It also seems that Swiy is stepping into this very suddenly and expects results at times. This will take a while so Swiy really needs to set ACHIEVABLE goals, even if these seem easy and SWIY is ahead then just keep them simple.

Again SIM has never had this problem but has had a bad time with another substance. Also what helped but was not intentional was SWIM having a breakdown and almost comitting suicide. This was hitting bottem and the things above helped getting out and also now. If Swiy can get out before hitting bottom than this would be great to hear.

keep posting

joe rogan

[nutellajunkie]

i just want to say well done for writing this and can I also say congratulations on not drinking while you were pregnant that just shows you how strong you can be.

I wish you all the best, and remember swim understands the anxiety of it all as SWIM has never asked for help either.