Is my mother addicted to oxazepam?

[SunnyHours]

swim said....

Hi Everyone!

I have been getting a lot of problems with my mom recently...
We always had a really good relationship. She have been taking Serax (Oxazepam) to go to sleep every night for a period of about 2 years. I have been reading about pretty much every drugs. That's when I learned that Benzodiazepines are pretty addictive.

I then tried to talk to my mother, not accusing her of being addicted, just warning her. She didn't even want to listen to me. I told her "Mom I just want you to be careful, withdrawal from Benzodiazepines are hell". She then proceded to yell at me.

Today, I told her that I took 2x15mg Serax from her (15mg doesn't do jack to me) to go to sleep since it had been almost a week that I didn't get any sleep since my accident.
She, again shouted at me, even though it's not the first time that I take some (sometimes she's the one that offers me her Serax when I am stressed).
I told her after seeing her reaction that I am going to talk to her doctor about her addiction. So she yelled at me that she's going to talk to my doctor (the same as her's) about the drugs I take (for my migraines mind you).
I started laughing because I thought it was really ridiculous.

What should I do? I already tried talking to her calmly but everytime I take some time to talk to her about it she shouts at me and tells me she doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

Help me,
Thanks for your help in advance.
EDIT: Forgot to mention this is a friend of a friend who asked me to post this on here to get help...

Reputation Comments on this post:

Blatant self-incrimination. You should know far better by now.

[leadcoffin]

If this guy really thinks his mom is in trouble, he may have to act like the parent in this case. Your friend's acquaintance may also need to move out of the house and get out of this woman's life for the time being -- won't solve the problem but will give the situation a chance to cool down so offers for help will be better received. He doesn't have to give up on her, but if she's not yet ready to quit there's not much he'll be able to do. Moving out may also help her appreciate this friend of a friend much more.

[SunnyHours]

he told me that she said it's not a problem.
She's is kind of right but SWIM told his friend that his mother will have big problems when she will have to stop
P.S maybe you can understand why SWIM wrote it in the first person...kinda complicated...

[fiveleggedrat]

This is a difficult issue. Swim confronted his mother several times about lorazepam addiction. He was worried about her becoming addicted, she gets a script and claims to not use it, but the pills are going somewhere.

Keep looking for evidence that points to it. At least figured out it is a possibility.

[SunnyHours]

the problem is that SWIM didn't even tell his mom that she is addicted, he just told her to be wary of the dangers related to a long-term use of those type of medication. She just replied that she had been taking it for 2 years each day before going to sleep. SWIM just told that it's even worse and then she started shouting again.

SWIM is going to talk to her doctor about this problem. He'll make sure her doctor reduces her dose gradually and that she gets something else to help her sleep.

[meaculpa]

swim thinks this is a good idea. swiys mom probably doesn`t know, or want to admit that she has a problem. swimys mom is very lucky to have someone who cares, good luck

[fiveleggedrat]

Half Swim's family is stuck on benzos, all older people. The older people tend to think that benzos are safe, or they would not be on the market. Safe meaning not addictive or recreational.

The youngin's like Swim all consider benzos to be, more or less, alcohol in pill form, not literally.

[moda00]

This is a tough one, and my opinion might not be appreciated or helpful, but how I see it (without knowing the situation personally, aside from what swiyou have shared) is this. Abuse or dependence generally involves distress about one's use, negative consequences, taking more than prescribed, etc. It it true that benzodiazepines can be problematic for long term use, and perhaps her anger is part of denial that there is a problem. I understand how swiy is concerned, after all, that's your family, and benzos can cause problems. However, if she is taking them only at night, only as prescribed, not hoarding pills, taking risks like driving or drinking or doing other drugs with them, etc. it doesn't sound to me like an addiction.

I mean, her doctor prescribes them, and she takes as prescribed, right? So while not ideal to be on benzos in the long term, the case may be that she is medically dependent. Many substances, including opiates, benzodiazepines, SSRIs, etc. create a state of dependence when used as a regular prescription in that the body is used to them and needs them, and will experience withdrawal or rebound symptoms when stopped. I don't know much about oxazepam, but from my understanding, the severe physical withdrawals would probably come into play only if she constantly had the drug in her system, not just at night, perhaps depending on the half-life, and only if she stopped taking them suddenly. It is certainly possible the insomnia would return or worsen if she stopped taking it, rebound insomnia, and it is possible she is afraid not to take it because she is used to it and it helps her.

However, in many cases of treating actual illness or medical conditions (sleep disorders, chronic pain, mood disorders, etc.) medications are used which can cause addiction (which should be monitored for and is considered a problem) or dependence (which is actually acknowledged and accepted as part of the treatment process with some drugs, and is addressed by doing a slow taper if and when it is time to come off them). People often confuse the two.

Now, if this is what works best for swiy's mother, and it helps her (sleep disorders can be extremely debilitating) it might cause more harm than good to talk to her doctor, possibly get her cut off her meds or labeled a drug abuser. I support asking her to talk to her doctor about possible side effects and risk of addiction, putting it out there and giving her the responsibility, but once swi-you contact the doc, it is out of swi-your hands and may have unintended implications and consequences.

In addition, even if someone is an addict, they have to be ready to quit for it to work. Trying to force them to do so will make them resent you, but won't help their addiction. Now if she is abusing her meds and doing dangerous things like driving under the influence, combining drugs, then I do believe one has an obligation to consult her doctor and make him/her aware, for safety reasons. But otherwise, my two cents is that I understand swiyour concern and take it seriously, but wouldn't advise any involvement other than letting her know how swiyou feels, as it does not sound like an addiction or problem.

If swiyou doesn't want to make her mad or yell or put her on the defensive, try focusing on swiy's feelings rather than talking about her- ie. tell her "I feel worried about the possible risks of long term use of such meds and don't want to see you suffer because I care about you" rather than "I think you should stop taking your meds" or "I worry you may be an addict." It may help to write a letter if swi-you think a conversation will escalate to an argument or threats, as it did before from both sides. If the way you worded it in your original post is how swi-you said it, that seems reasonable- swi-you say you simply warned her about withdrawal, rather than making accusations, which is good- but other than warn her, and perhaps print out a list of the prescribing info and risks of regular oxazepam use to give to her, there is not much else swi-you can do.

After that, I would say to drop it, but to be sure to keep an eye on her and make sure she is not exhibiting signs of addiction- distress, denial, continued use despite problems caused, taking too much, mixing drugs, always running out early or supplementing from online pharmacies or multiple docs, etc. I hope this helps, and take it for what it is, just my advice and perspective; others may disagree. But I feel strongly that swiyou has a chance to let her know he cares and let her know to be aware of the risks and maybe talk to her doctor about the long term treatment plan, but that interfering and calling her doctor would not be helpful.