Side effects - After 20 years of heavy use

[Eductingmyself]

SWIM met MDMA in 1988. between 1988 and 1998 SWIM visited MDMA on average 20 times per month. During this time Span SWIM also played with Amphet and Coca.
From 1998 to Present SWIM still played with MDMA on a weekly basis but not as much and also with his other freinds Ampet And Coca.

Now, SWIM is thinking of calling it a Day. His Freinds especially MDMA just arnt the same, and he dosnt have as much fun as he did

SWIM thinks he has been un-effected Physically by his freindship over the last 20 years. He does suffer sleep Phycosis, hard to explain, but it occours just as he is about to Nod of too sleep, were his body becomes almost paralysed and he goes into a panick as he tries to move - he is semi concious during this frightening experience which makes it feel bad, the term is called 'night nurse syndrome' i think.
Swims mind seems to have held up well, His body seems to be intact so he thinks hes done quite well on the physical and mental side of things

Personal effects of playing withh is freinds - well lets just say NOTHING could prepare a person for the emotional roller coaster he has been on for 20 years, but SWIM knows it was his choice.
What Swim is basically saying is, he is glad he didnt listen to the scare mongering from so called doctors and scientists on why he should never have started playing with MDMA and some of his other freinds.

Swim wonders if there are other people who can relate to a long term relationship from playing with the same freinds, and any effects they may have ???

Reputation Comments on this post:

	please do not refer to cocaine as "coca" in the future, it only leads to an unecessary and detrimental confusi...
	Thanks for SWIY's posts in this thread
	Thank you for sharing SWIM's long term use. I find such things interesting and beneficial to help people.
	thankyou for sharing your inordinant use. Definately not recommended, but people like you who overindulge add to our kno...

[fiveleggedrat]

Swim has never done MDMA, but experiences sleep paralysis (What you described) rather often. Just wanted to point this out

[Eductingmyself]

Originally Posted by fiveleggedrat

Swim has never done MDMA, but experiences sleep paralysis (What you described) rather often. Just wanted to point this out

Swim thought this may have been an effect of playing with MDMA due to the mind being over-active and the body being exhausted. Swim discussed this with quite a few people who had this Phycosis, some on a bigger level, but they also played with MDMA.

[fiveleggedrat]

Swim particularly had it happen after playing more often with drugs.

At least two times it was related to either cocaine or amphetamine, and once it was related to alprazolam and cocaine.

[Lobsang]

SWIM thinks he has been un-effected Physically by his freindship over the last 20 years. He does suffer sleep Phycosis, hard to explain, but it occours just as he is about to Nod of too sleep, were his body becomes almost paralysed and he goes into a panick as he tries to move - he is semi concious during this frightening experience which makes it feel bad, the term is called 'night nurse syndrome' i think.

Were we no talking about supplementing with magnesium for this sleep paralysis? Anyone?

[fiveleggedrat]

Swim'll check it out now.

If SwiLobsang mentioned it to Swim in a previous post, chances are he forgot.

[Lobsang]

Originally Posted by fiveleggedrat

Swim'll check it out now.

If SwiLobsang mentioned it to Swim in a previous post, chances are he forgot.

No I did not mention it. But I do remember it being discussed on the forum. Perhaps someboby will chime in on this.

[piuiher]

What you experience is called isolatedd spleep paralisys. It can be the worst or the best thing you have ever tried. I used to have it 2/3 times a week in a certain period of my life when I was takin more MDMA, then it suddenly stopped. Now I only have it like onve every two months or so. I was having it in the nights i WAS CLEAN. I spoke with a psychologists about it, I was not in therapy, I just happened to talk to one on holday about this. He told me that the paralysis can be the entrance to lucid dreaming if you manage to overcome the fear.

At the beginning I was shitting my pants all the times when it happned, then I managed to stay calm. He told me to look for windows and doors in the room you see (which most often was my room) and then get up to open that door or window and see what there is on the other side. When it happened again i tried to stay calm then "physically got up", (i say physically because it really felt like I was gettting up for real but I wasn't) I opened the window and to my disbelief I saw it was another world out there. I decided to fly and I really felt like flying. From that day I tried lucid dreaming on weekly basis thanks to the isoltaed sleep paralysis. It was incredible and I still feel it was something special even if many years have gone past. I truly suggest you do not try to suppress it but enhance it in the way I have been tought to do.

Let us know

[Eductingmyself]

Originally Posted by piuiher

What you experience is called isolatedd spleep paralisys. It can be the worst or the best thing you have ever tried. I used to have it 2/3 times a week in a certain period of my life when I was takin more MDMA, then it suddenly stopped. Now I only have it like onve every two months or so. I was having it in the nights i WAS CLEAN. I spoke with a psychologists about it, I was not in therapy, I just happened to talk to one on holday about this. He told me that the paralysis can be the entrance to lucid dreaming if you manage to overcome the fear.

At the beginning I was shitting my pants all the times when it happned, then I managed to stay calm. He told me to look for windows and doors in the room you see (which most often was my room) and then get up to open that door or window and see what there is on the other side. When it happened again i tried to stay calm then "physically got up", (i say physically because it really felt like I was gettting up for real but I wasn't) I opened the window and to my disbelief I saw it was another world out there. I decided to fly and I really felt like flying. From that day I tried lucid dreaming on weekly basis thanks to the isoltaed sleep paralysis. It was incredible and I still feel it was something special even if many years have gone past. I truly suggest you do not try to suppress it but enhance it in the way I have been tought to do.

Let us know

Yes, Swim has Freinds who are able to use the Condition in thier favour and get a type of 'out of body experience' as you described. Swims experiences are however more violent, like being rasied from the bed and hurled at great speed towards the wall, thats when he finally gets awakened in bed shaking and swetting.

[Lehendakari]

I don't know much about MDMA long term effects but I would discourage everybody taking MDMA like that for so long.

[Romie1985]

SWIM has had some fairly werid shit happen to him, just curious as it could be some type of spleep paralisys?

One time it felt like SWIM woke up (he was actually asleep), when he "woke up" he was laying on his back and a monster was ripping out his guts from his stomach. SWIM was freaking out and couldnt move/stop the monster and all he could do was watch it, as it riped everything out of his body. It felt so real and SWIM was terrified. Then he suddenly woke up sweating like crazy and heart racing like mad.

Would this be the same thing that happen to SWIY and can be claffisied as some type of sleep paralisys?

This only happened after MDMA binges

[fiveleggedrat]

Eductingmyself, would you please share more information, especially about how you feel how long term use has affected you? Especially in relation to things like memory, learning, and perhaps any damage you feel like you have done.

[Lobsang]

Originally Posted by Romie1985

SWIM has had some fairly werid shit happen to him, just curious as it could be some type of spleep paralisys?

One time it felt like SWIM woke up (he was actually asleep), when he "woke up" he was laying on his back and a monster was ripping out his guts from his stomach. SWIM was freaking out and couldnt move/stop the monster and all he could do was watch it, as it riped everything out of his body. It felt so real and SWIM was terrified. Then he suddenly woke up sweating like crazy and heart racing like mad.

Would this be the same thing that happen to SWIY and can be claffisied as some type of sleep paralisys?

This only happened after MDMA binges

Yes the "monster' stuff is a hallmark. Having the sense of a being in the room. Or a monster sitting on your chest. There is a name for the being. I forget what it is. I think it starts with an "H".

[Jatelka]

Originally Posted by Lobsang

There is a name for the being. I forget what it is. I think it starts with an "H".

Incubus: A male demon who has sexual intercourse with sleeping women
Succubus: A female demon who has sex with sleeping men

Possibly also related is the "cats steal babies breath" old wives tale, which is thought to be based on Hebrew mythology, where Lilith takes the form of a cat to steal life from the newborn

[fiveleggedrat]

Off topic, but Swim noticed while playing with a crackhead friend's neglected baby (LOL!), that if you blow air onto a babies face, they kinda go "Ahhh!" and hold their breath.

Its REALLY funny! Everyone should be required by law to blow air on babies at least once every 15 minutes.

The crackhead would tell me "Stop, you are stealing my babies air!" in a joking tone.

[piuiher]

Have a look here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

I quote some parts:

Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the bodily paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. In addition, the state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger

Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters

ISP (Isolated sleep paralysis) is quite common anyway

also have a look at this:

www.theconsciousdreamer.org/sec-4.HTM

Sleep paralysis seems to embody all the degrees of hallucinatory experience. However, In the case of full-blown episodes of RISP, individuals are convinced that these experiences have objective external sources. They are unlikely to describe their experience as one of sleep paralysis, but rather, for instance, as one of demonic possession or of spirit encounter, and the perceived reality of the "events" that occur during RISP episodes enhances their fear or even "terror." Hypnogogic and hypnopompic hallucinations include visual, auditory, haptic (tactile), and more rarely olfactive hallucinations. The individual perceives vivid dream-like imagery, hears voices, song or music, and sounds such as footsteps or static from a radio, for example. The increasing buzzing or ringing in the ears as described in section 2 may also qualify as an auditory hallucination although it is part of a real condition called tinnitus. The tactile hallucination includes a pressure on the chest, a sensation of choking, or of touch on different parts of the body, and occasionally of genital stimulation. Another very intriguing type of hallucination that occurs commonly is feeling a presence in the room. The presence is usually perceived as threatening or evil, occasionally ugly, but also sometimes benign. As described in section 2, it may be human, animal, or neither, or even some combination, or undefinable. It may be simply watching, or it may be speaking, or even attacking, for example by pulling the individual's legs or by trying to smother the individual (this experience is associated with the choking sensation). The pressure on the chest may procure the sensation that the presence (or "entity") is sitting on the chest.

try to recognoze what's happening next time. You are consiuos in reality so you know that the stuff is not for real: your are not being attacked by anyone. Try to calm down and see how it goes.

[Eductingmyself]

Originally Posted by Romie1985

SWIM has had some fairly werid shit happen to him, just curious as it could be some type of spleep paralisys?

One time it felt like SWIM woke up (he was actually asleep), when he "woke up" he was laying on his back and a monster was ripping out his guts from his stomach. SWIM was freaking out and couldnt move/stop the monster and all he could do was watch it, as it riped everything out of his body. It felt so real and SWIM was terrified. Then he suddenly woke up sweating like crazy and heart racing like mad.

Would this be the same thing that happen to SWIY and can be claffisied as some type of sleep paralisys?

This only happened after MDMA binges

Variety of somatosensory, vestibular and other phenomena accompanying isolated sleep paralysis (SP) and lucid dreaming (LD)

Exosomatic, but affecting the body
Waves, vibrations and earthquake-like tremors (SP).


Acoustic
Crackling, snapping, high-pitched, ringing (hours preceding and/or during SP) and booming noises (SP); great richness of sound quality, specifically in music (LD).


Visual
Luminous blobs, auras, perception of objects and details of wall crevices and bed lining fabric (SP); vibrant and surreal colors (LD).


Sleep Paralysis
Complete or partial atonia.


Somatosensory
Rotation of the body (pivot: the belly area), twisting of the body, rolling into oneself. Also, pressure on different parts of the body, but most commonly the belly area; floating, flying and being squeezed through tunnels (all SP).


Microsomatognosia: Shrinking in size (SP).


Dissociation: Out-of-the-body experiences (SP and LD).


Hypnagogic hallucinations; Nightmare
Presence in the room, benign or maleficent; sense of suffocation; sense of entity sitting on one's chest; sense of entity pulling one's feet (more common than incubus) (SP).


Other
Bolt of lightening exploding at the base of the neck, pain in the midsection (SP)









Eductingmyself added 29 Minutes and 59 Seconds later...

Originally Posted by fiveleggedrat

SWIM, would you please share more information, especially about how you feel how long term use has affected you? Especially in relation to things like memory, learning, and perhaps any damage you feel like you have done.

Well SWIM would say that the biggest effect on is life through prolonged use would be on a Personal/social level*, though this is merely due to the Cultural circle/lifestyle that most prolonged MDMA users fit into.

SWIM still has the same carrer, his lifestyle did not effect that over 30 years though made it hard at times, but swim recognised a simple fact - to play hard he had to work hard.

SWIM has found that over the years MDMA use has actually helped to enhance thinking, especially outside the box methods. Everyone has those mad conversations during use normally called "crap talk" but swim has witnessed and embraced some truely Genuis moments and conversations, Logic seems a lot more to go deeper than IF BUT WHY

Short term memory loss is sometimes a problem, but Swim see's it as no different than someone of the same age who has never done MDMA

Long term memory loss- Not at all!!! infact MDMA sessions helped dig out memories from the past such as child hood memories and once out, they stayed out. Swim can go back to any time in his life during large MDMA sessions and give who/why/what/were answers even though a few days after such events they were hazey.

State of mind - Pretty Sharp actually!

Ability to learn/gather information/decepher information/process information have actually improved if anything. Swim works with people half his age and his memory processes/thought processes seem more accute.

Sexual Appettite/Performance - Normal, no change physically or mentally.

Physical damage to body - Eyesight not effected, hearing not effected, teeth have been - though probably through use of Amphet too
Skin - Skin problems do arise i.e. Dryness, simply due to Dehyrdation occourances during/after countless MDMA sessions.
Looks/Appearance - If anything Swim looks younger than his actual age, definately NO accelerated ageing process has taken place, even with other people Swim knows who have had prolonged use.

* this is probably the most important aspect though, and one that Did certainly effect SWIM over the course of his life

[KomodoMK]

Originally Posted by piuiher

He told me that the paralysis can be the entrance to lucid dreaming if you manage to overcome the fear.

This is true. SWIM once suffered this, it always started with his head feeling as if it was sinking into the pillow. The first 2-3 times which were really scary, I tried to scream and nothing came out, and I was being attacked and couldn't move. After that SWIM learned to control the fear and as you said, managed to convert it into lucid dreaming. It was amazing but after a couple of weeks it stopped.

[freshacejay]

Thanks all for the isolated sleep paralysis info. SWIM has been experiancing this after a mdma binge 3 weeks ago. He didnt really know what it was but it fightend him. He will now try lucid dreaming.

Back to topic: I would be interessted in what changes swiys life has gone thorugh i.e. job, gf, freinds etc.

cheers

[Lehendakari]

There are lots of post discussin SP in the forum. It's very common, it hapens to me very often, but I don't get the monsters hallucinations.

I'm extremely rational when it's happening, sometimes I get frightened cause I think I can't breathe, when I open my eyes I see the actual room I'm at, and I think am fully awake but can't move. Then I focus on moving a finger or a toe and I awake a bit confused and able to move

[sirdrugalot]

swim took e's every weekend from 98 to 03 never missing a weekend and some times during the week. layed off them due to a trip to the hospital with a funny out of beat heart. swim would say they were the same e's as you were taking at one point educatingmyself. from 03 to 07 on and off but no where neer as much as from 98 to 03 mainly because of the change in the content of the e's because there not mdma no more. swim also just got sick of feeling like crying for no reason at all on a tuesday or Wednesday they left swim depressed, got swim the sack from jobs other jobs they just made swim get up in the middle of a shift and walk out. they made swim feel empty in side like they had ripped something out of him. swim has been paralyzed in the bed lots of times tries to scream and scream till at last a scream comes out and he snaps out of it. swim also got this thing at the hight of binges on e's where he would be falling off to sleep then next thing he would get this electric shock in his head feels like your brains vibrating round in your skull. would get it some times during the day to or when he would drink a glass of water, freaked swim out. its hard to say if this was just down to e's because swim abused other drugs at the same time like speed, coke, trips, cannabis, alcohol and what ever he got his hands on. but swim thinks they do leave you depressed and you just dont know it because you never give your self long enough of a break to fully recover back to what you were like before you started taking them. swim has not taken any e's in over a year and a half now, but has been abusing cns depressants all that time mostly opiates and downers. its hard to say perhaps swim could give a straighter answer if he were just taking pure mdma nothing els and no other drugs or alcohol but as you know the over here e's are no longer mdma and have not been for a long time. having said all that swim had some of the best times of his life taking e's swim thinks real e's (mdma) is the best drug ever invented.

[KomodoMK]

The E's in SWIMs area or England are of fairly high quality, definitely MDMA. However, SWIM prefers the MDMA crystals, much clearer and sharper buzz.

[sirdrugalot]

Originally Posted by KomodoMK

The E's in SWIMs area or England are of fairly high quality, definitely MDMA. However, SWIM prefers the MDMA crystals, much clearer and sharper buzz.

swims from the white house and e's in swims area are any thing but high quality. unless a dramatic change has taken place in the year and a half since swim has taken them, which swim is sure it has not. the person who started this thread is from the republic of ireland. swim tried mama powder before its good but its very hard to get here.
the white house gets the left over crap that the rest of the world will not buy and swim is sure its probably the same in england as its over the water. theres fuck all e's in white house as a whole these days compaired to what it use to be, its mostly coke and H.

[KomodoMK]

Yeah SWIM isn't saying they contain only MDMA, other substances are probably present. But on the grand scheme of things they do seem to contain a fair dose of MDMA also. It's rare to get complete bunk pills. This is in the south-east of England.

However SWIM doesn't do it very often any more, so when he does it's MDMA crystals all the way.

[sirdrugalot]

swim cant say about england perhaps the e's are better there but for swim the e's here just dont feel anyway near what they use to feel like in the late 90's when he started taking them.
the few times swim tried mdma crystals/powder only once were they crystals
the rest of the time it was powder this would indicate to swim that like a lot of drugs here its was cut to fuck.
perhaps the same gos for the e's here they could be crushed down, cut and reprinted. perhaps this is the reason why they seem so shit to swim these days. or perhaps like all new drugs a person starts taking, there good at the start and as time gos on it fades away.
theres a lot of factors to take into account but they have with out a doubt changed over the years.