SWIM has 6 months clean!!

[ai]

actualy it was last tuesday but i forgot to post it here.

[sylenth]

nice one! who ever said it's a long road to recovery? keep it up, now it's easy sailing from here on out....

[Fight Club]

Congratulations! Keep doing what you are doing. Cravings come and go; make sure you call someone before you pick up, and SWIY will have a year under his belt in no time.

FC

[Junket]

Good job.

Can't wait till my friend can say the same

[ai]

A Friend of mine (lol, seriously, a real friend of mine, not SWIM) relasped last night. what's sad is that they would have a year a week from today.

puts things in perspective.

[Junket]

ai,

swim didn't really have a hardcore addiction or anything, he just had a bad little habit lasting about a month and saw himself going down a road he didn't want to travel.

now that he is 2 weeks clean he doesn't even have a slight desire to go back. He only had cravings the first day.

I can't imagine almost being a year clean and falling back, just not worth it whatsoever..

[Fight Club]

ai,

NIK's seen that happen more times than he would like to. Cravings tend to be cyclic; there is a reason the 12-step programs give out coins / keychains at 30 days, 60, days, 3, 6, 9 months, etc.

NIK needs a regular reminder of a) how far he has come, b) how bad things were, and c) how quickly they could be that way again if he gets high.

FC

[ai]

swim WILL HAVE 7 months on the 12th... just rolling right along. SWiM cannot believe he hasn't hit the pipe since the middle of February. damn that's a long time.

SWIM had another friend relaspe a week ago. he had 4 months clean.

it's funny becuase apparanty there is a such thing as a "good relapse". Becuase that is what everyone is telling him. I don't buy it. you set out to not use and you used.

[chillinwill]

ai,

whats a good relapse? the goal is not to use....now i understand if they are talking about using something that isn't as harmful as the original drug of choice...

[ai]

no... I mean I'm with you. I think it's crap. the guy went and bought an 8 ball, and didn't finish it becuase he felt bad and they told him that "see you are changing" and it's not a bad relaspse but just a "laspe".

[Junket]

ai,

Ya, he messed up. but I definately would say that is a good relapse when compartively speaking to what could of happened.

[chillinwill]

very good point....he only used that once then right?

[ai]

but that's like saying that's a good killing spree becuase you only killed one person instead of 5. You still killed someone.

i think part of the reason people relaspe is because they are being cuddled and telling them everything is a okay, hey it's okay if you relaspe, go ahead and try again, you are still a winner.

I think attractive women have it worst than anyone else becuase all they have to do is bat their eyes and sob a little and years of drug abuse is forgiven, time and time and time again. I have seen it with my own two eyes. not only that, people will go out of their way to help them and they dont' have to earn their recovery. and when they don't feel like recovering anymore "oh well, i'll just TRY again, I know I can always fall back on X and X"

no go for me. YOU ARE SCREWING UP and I am going to tell you that. Doesn't mean that you ARE a screw up, but I am a big beleiver in telling it straight. there is nothing positive about smoking crack

ai added 3 Minutes and 56 Seconds later...

one thing SWIM is seeing is that being clean is really sooo much better than trying to spend your life getting high. Not close to being the same person. the more time SWIM gets the more it's not worth it. not only is it not worth it, it's actually more FUN being clean than getting high!

even when SWIM is having a bad day, it's 10x better than the best day sWIM had getting f'ed up. and SWIM means that

[Junket]

but that's like saying that's a good killing spree becuase you only killed one person instead of 5. You still killed someone.

yea.. but if someone kills one person as opposed to five, thats good.

it may not be good overall, but we are talking in comparison to another possible outcome.

i think part of the reason people relaspe is because they are being cuddled and telling them everything is a okay, hey it's okay if you relaspe, go ahead and try again, you are still a winner.

What else are you suppose to do?

say "hey you relapsed, you fucked up, just give up NOW!!!!"

no, you got to look for positive reinforcement, relapsing is a very common thing with addiction. its becoming stronger and changing over time.

I think attractive women have it worst than anyone else becuase all they have to do is bat their eyes and sob a little and years of drug abuse is forgiven, time and time and time again. I have seen it with my own two eyes. not only that, people will go out of their way to help them and they dont' have to earn their recovery. and when they don't feel like recovering anymore "oh well, i'll just TRY again, I know I can always fall back on X and X"

An attractive woman is a million times more likely to get out of a speeding ticket than the average joe too. This is just life man.

As for the rest of your post, congratulations on getting clean.

[nousernamesleft1234]

congrats, swim has been 3 months clean himself although bordom & girlfriend having left for college leaving him "scratching his neck" so to speak...

[ai]

again, another guy yesterday I know with this "good relaspe".

he relasped after 30 days of being clean and everyone is telling him that "that's required for long term soberity".

maybe I am in the minority with this, but I really believe part of the reason they ARE relasping is because they know they have that get out of jail free card.

in REAL life you have REAL consequences for your actions. if in real life you get caught drinking and driving you are going to jail.

in a chem free house you get caught smoking crack and you are not allowed to leave the building for 30 days. WOW. that's a REAL punishment and REAL consequences for your actions. [/sarcasm]

then he tells me "well, what if you are REALLY trying to stay clean, why should you have to leave".. Becuase it's a CHEM- FREE house not a CHEM SEMI free house. you are putting everyone in this building in jeopardy with your use, including SWIM.

that's not fair to people like SWIM because I AM clean.

There is way too much coddling in recovery. WAY too much. Relaspse doesn't make you a bad person at all, it doesn't even mean you aren't trying. But there has to be REAL consequences and reproductions for your acitons.

[Fight Club]

Plenty of people have plenty of real consequences when they relapse; you don't have to create artifical ones. But you are right - there is a fine line between being supportive and enabling.

FC

[Junket]

ai, I understand what you're saying completely, but you are kinda making it seem that everyone who relapses is happy about relapsing and doing it because they know they can get away with it.

kicking someone out of a chem-free house because they used once is setting that person up for failure more so than trying again.

well put Fight Club. oh and in regards to your sig, what "are you" then?

[Fight Club]

Originally Posted by Junket

well put Fight Club. oh and in regards to your sig, what "are you" then?

NIK would like to take credit for those profound words, however they are not his, but a quote from the movie by the same name (1999).

NIK likes that quote, however, because, as it suggests, we do not have to be bound by our egos, and defined by the material things, accomplishments, and events in our lives; we can just "be".

DC

[ai]

Originally Posted by Junket

ai, I understand what you're saying completely, but you are kinda making it seem that everyone who relapses is happy about relapsing and doing it because they know they can get away with it.

kicking someone out of a chem-free house because they used once is setting that person up for failure more so than trying again.

and NOT kicking that person it out becuase they used is putting EVERYONE ELSE in the house at risk.

You think of my roommate picks up the pipe and I know it's not going to seriously cross SWIM's mind? Seriously?

IN fact this guy's roommate DID relaspe with him and he got kicked out as well. just proves my point. got caught sneaking out of a window.



also, if you are going to have rules, and not enforce them, what is really the point of having rules?

what is stopping SWIM from using and saying "well I don't expect anything to happen to SWIM because nothing happened to such and such"

also, they pick and chose when they want to enforce the rules. a friend of mine relasped about 2 weeks ago and her bags were packed before she got back home.

ai added 9 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...

when you GET at the chem free house, they make it loud and clear.. you use, you go.

so if you don't go when you use, isn't that TEXTBOOK enabling?